FROGGER POSESSION
Ho Ho Con 91…
Staring:
Crimson Death as Terminal Illness: Sysop of Cyberwaste
Count Zero as co-conspiritor with Crimson Death and creator of the
name “Cyberwaste” and bearer of the Demonseed remote scam-cam.
Morpheus as the crazed inventor of the K-RAD cyber drug Marshmellow HEX, the
drug of choice for BellCore employees across America.
Doc Cypher: Imperial gizzard and sheriff of !ingham, Marshmellow HE>< junkie
extrordinairre.
Holistic Hacker, Jolt and coremonger, ceo erptech transplanetary
Phrack Classsic : PROPHILE : 0//aR!!!1!!
hOW LONG HAVE YOU looked like Cliff Stoll, Omar?
Fuck You. I don't want that in her there.
What do you think of Scot?
Scot's a nice, he's a great guy, but don't leave him alone with your daughter
and a box cutter.
Switching to Chris Goggans of MOD.
Chris, how long have you been programming in Unix?
OMAR : Bruce Sterling introduced me into programming Unix. I was fascinated to
learn that there were no people at the SS who knew how to program in Unix.
Chris, what's in the future for MOD?
CG: Soap on a rope.
Any closing comments?
Watch your ass around coredumps. Tell your friends to leave the room when you
feel an 8 or 9 megger coming on.
CG: It's time for some more water.
Omar: I look forward to more Matrix Coredump
experience the cyberfuture.
omar : Gunnar.
Fat Boy Crimson Death : Hey Gunnar. Gunnar's got my terminal.
Bruce Sterling : Who stole my Unix Programming manual?
World View Staff : Nobody Bruce. You left it in the Cyberspace Matrix.
Chow down on some Cyber-snackage…..Ruffles have cyber-ridges…
JD: Terminal Illness is my cyber-friend
Dispater: Call Speed Cyberwaste Elite / World H.q 1000’s of Viruses and Dust
Motes that are about 3 microns thick4and bombard your eyes.
anyway the sysop is Terminal Ilness!!!!!!!!
and here’s where you find the and uh, ok.
So uh, this is the uh, and this is…the…uh…deal.
and uh…I do a lot of social engineering. And it’s harsh.
switched to White Knight
Leena kept asking me, over and over, ‘What happened to Kilo? After the
paint meeting, he was gone…’
Kevin: Monster Trucks!!!! g0 WiTH iT!
Holistic: My name is John, and i’m a caffine abuser.
CD: Every new handle change comes with a complementary issue of phrack
Steve (lawer): …and let’s talk now about CIVIL LIBERTIES
CD: Cyberwaste — The only BBS with 5 gigs of monster truck gifs,
and sponsoring Demon Seed Elite the big bad ass of cyberhell monster
truckdom… god protect us all from dust moats…
G.A. The only monster truck that can box Alliance.
Broadway Hacker: Too bad The Blade didn’t show I wanted to fuck
him up the but… by the way… hows your balls?!??
Morpheus: Check out CYBERWASTE! Now sponsoring the one and only
alt.monstertrucks moderated by Terminal Illness. Now time to get cyberwasted
on dustmotes..
..phuk cDc in tha b00teez!! blAk sEptEbuR bak an on da rize g! werd 2
ya mutha.. swamp ratte = phag kween.. bsept in 92!!!!1!!1!!
“The strippers are here!” – k0dez kidz
Stripper: “Oh my gawd!”
Translated: “I’m not taking my clothes off for a buncha COMPUTER GEEKS!”
HAY!@!!!!#%!$%!1 AWLRYTURZ!@!! THIZ IZ A
LYVUR KEWL TEXT PHYLUR PHR0M KEWL
H0ZH0ZK0NZ YVUR IN DA SYBURSPACUR
MATRIXZ!!@! HAREZ SUM 0F DA EL8 INPH0
WEV K-SNAGUD PHR0M DA K0N!@!!!!!!
OKAZE LYK PHAZE!!!@! PHIRZT SUM PRYVATUR
INPHOZE ON DA GNU PIZA B0XUR..
PHUKNA!!%@!^%$!^% DAREZ SUM STRIPPURZZZ
HARE!@&^%!&^ GN0 WAY!@&^! WAT SHUD I
DOO??!! WAREZ MY KEE.. G0TTZ GET
0FFLYNURZ..2 MUCH 4 MEE..
I’m sorry but those dancers were 2 of the ugliest beasts I’ve ever seen
in my life.
C0dEz dorK: Ho Ho Ho’s.
G.A.: Smells like Teen Spirit…
New Prophile… Erik Bloodaxe.
Chris, what did you think of those rad dancers?
Made me wish I had charged up my cattle prod.
I wish I brought my box cutter personally – Omar.
Did I see a fat girl dancing on the table?`With huge porcupine tits
sagging?`She was going, “Hey big boy!@!!!”. – Arch Agel.
I’m alot more entertained now Omar. About 3 hours I was alot less entertained.
– Erik Bloodaxe.
There’s a bunch of drug crazed lemmings out there – Omar.
Well, gee, I’ve gotta piss..there’s probably some traces (of drugs) in there if
you want them.. – Erik Bloodaxe.
What exactly is this masterpice you’ve been working on – Erik Bloodaxe.
Blackmail..that’s what it is. – Erik Bloodaxe.
I gave one of them money when they were done, and they didn’t even have to
squirm all over me. I’m such a nice guy. -Swamp Ratte’
I took a serious coredump today.. didn’t take too much processing. – A. Angel
It was obvious you had a couple of beers last night – L. Macduff to Arch A.
So, Omar.. what did you think of those bAbeolOusous dAnzurZ? – Holistic
Drunkfux was the hit with the good looking ones.. chicks dig Nelson. If
Dispater hadn’t paid them, they’d all be sucking his dick right now.
Arch Angel – Hey..the fat one knocked over the radio..
We were at least going to be economical about it.. I had it down to 10 people
for 3 hits of acid.. in Gunnar’s suite.
This lasted for 2 hours?`- Lord Macduff
It looked like the Wizard of Oz here.. with all the fingers pointing. – Arch.
So Everyone..what did you think of the babEz?
We were talking about Alpha Bits with Hex Marshmallows.. and on the back you’ve
got a hex-ascii converter.
Demonseed is everywhere, yet nowhere…it is everything, yet nothing, but
maybe just a bunch of little things…. -Count Zero
Something that even virtually reality could entice..or even begin to describe
this fiasco of cyber whores from the matrix that have been beckenforthed..
Just remember..this is not your father’s HoHoCon. – Holistic
4:44am – Omar lost his mind. Demon seed woke up and gained more power.
I feel the need for a song. abstract, of course.
————————————————
Tawk tawk tawking bout sum cyber stuff
Like Demon Roach’s new Monster Truck sub
Matrix hoppin we will go
In search of the hex marshmallow
Come now, come now, do not pace
We’re off to call cyberwaste
The new beast known as demon seed
Run over your head and make you bleed
Decryption of the message I soon will start
For I have the hex-ascii chart
Fat, skanky dancers running all around
Wonder how many STD’s Dispater has now
What made me sick was the one’s hairy mole
Did I mention that Omar looks like “Suck my d1<K brian!"
Bruce taught me how to program in Unix and Hack C
Omar had his picture taken with E.T.
This is it.. I must go..
I may finish later.. I don't know
————————————————-
In order of appearance:
The Summoning of Demon Seed…
Blackness was all around in the Hilton parking lot… the power was strong and
we knew Demon Seed Elite might appear any second from the power of pre-puberty
crazed glangular overactive k0dez kids… a hush fell over the parking lot and
we suddenly felt irrated for some reason — yes we knew that tonite WAS the nite
for the coming of Demon Seed Elite.
Suddenly, a hush fell over the parking lot. A herd of K0dez kids wandered
by in search of K-rad cyber-strippers. In a flash of blue light and clouds
of 10 micron dust motes, Demon Seed Elite materialized. It's blazing CGA
monitors flashing with menace, it descended on the nerdlings with fury….
The beams shot forth from the blazing monitors searing the flesh of the huddled
masses. The first casualty was a gangly young codester, twitchintg with the
expectations of the looming nudity. The firey beams struck him at the base of
his spine, ripping flech from bone, sending a shower of blood over the
remainaing hacking horde. The energy expuled from the first kill powered on
the energy seeking transformer of demon seed. The k0dez kids cried out in
escatsy knowing that cheezy motel porn was no more in their bloodthirst of fat
sleezy cybernetic whores, they had a bigger thing to worry about right now it
is demon seed elite.
As the k-rad K00L smoke cleared, demn seed elite appeared…again… The
drolls of the M0D special issue cybernetic cotton gin's drolls permeated the
cybernetic battlefield…with dung…cybernetic dung: the dung of the
Demon Seed.
The thousands of pixels which made the eye of the cyberwaste cast its watchful
gaze on the terrain some 6,700,000 miles below, methodologically scanning the
payphones of the known universe for the brief flash of a KaLl1Ng KaRD!!11!1!
yet we have not taken the time to discuss the true meaning of demon seed, for
he has the untmost pirating cabilities… demon seed needs no ratio or time
limit for everyone knows the k-rad warez of the future that sp00geD out of the
bed of demon seed… for he has the power to travel into the future and get
games that have yet to be created in our present time…
Then the EELYTE surviors beheld to our surprise and delight
Clifford Stoll himself sat in the passenger seat, cluthing a pipe
His hands were all shaking, just like a speed freak
He spit when he laughed, and we called him a geek
"It's the COOKIES!" he exclaimed, "Not the speed or the blow"
"Don't end up like me! Please, just say no!"
The truck rattled and shook, the license plate read "K-K00L"
As it drove away, all we could do was sit, gape, and drool."
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