Tag: word math

The Word Math Problem From Hell.

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how many cabbages does it take to fill up twelve empty buckets from taiwan
when the premier of afghanistan has been assassinated by three upstart
punk-rockers who call themselves, larry, curly, and moe, remember, take into
account the fact that 3 quarts does not equal the amount of coke, on average,
consumed in two weeks by a family of four chinese gorillas who have not yet had
their dinner. Also remember that two plus two does not equal three because
there are simply more there. don’t forget that the year will soon be 1985
because in that year george orwell is now dead thus leaving 10×3 new spaces
available for crickets to roam the earth… remember crickets make loud noises,
so loud, the in fact they are able to cause men to jump out of their sleeping
bads and sleeping bags, also, and run into the mississippi river, which then
Gill carry them out into the gulf of mexico which is the origin for many
hurricanes because of its unusual weather patterns and also because of its
somewhat odd shape. another word on odd shapes which may help to solve this
problem, is that the world is not actually round, nor even close, when
considered that when looking at it, it seems not even a circle because we have
only two eyes which means that we can only see in two dimensions which means
that it appears to be a little segment which is nothing near a circle, which
isn’t a sphere. thus it doesn’t exist. take that into account. round to the
nearest 5th decimal place. incidentally, 5 is the number of digits in the last
5 digits of fred wallbanger’s phone number. he lived in orange county, ca, with
his lovely wife and obnoxious kids who would constantly use the phrase, “oh, but
mom, i don’t want to do that.” Unfortunately, his wife was somewhat insane, and
used to do unmentionable things to those poor unfortunate kids…

you will need plenty of time to solve thing problem… here’s some time, then
i’ll give you the solution in condensed form, with an explanation.
timetimetimetimeitm… igot too much time on my hands. what a dumb song.
lalalalla. time time itme. time. who says i can’t type. i bet it was george
fredman from ohio. he also had two lovely kids and an obnoxious wife, or was it
a lovely wife and obnoxious kids. oh, well. he had one of those. poor him.

well, time’s up… do you have the answer. it’s…

42 ——————



the 42 comes from somewhere, probably new york. the six comes direct from
kansas. the zero is all you morons. the 3.14159 is strangely enough, pi. this
is because pi was directly related to the number of cabbages that can fit in an
empty bucket… etc. (taking into account all the various factors) hence,
thence, and whence. it’s 3.14159 rounded, of course.

so, the next time someone asks you, “how many cabbages will fit into an empty
bucket?” go ahead, say it, 3.14159. they’ll think you’re really smart and
probably give you a medal or something really nifty neeto like that.
incidentally, ‘nifty neeto’ was invented by the * original * nerd from san jose
ca. his name was james q. quinface. people could not tell wether he was
wearing shorts or jeans, from j.c. penny of course, quality, with reasonable
prices. naturally, hencely, thusly and musly, he dumbed himself, king james and
went on to be the kind of england nearly three hundred years earlier.

anyways, you’ll win all of this plus much more. wow