Life Sucks III: Life in the Real World
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Author: Robert A. Seace (Agrajag/AJ)
====================================

Published by: RLunatic/Jhayden pro-ductions
——————————————-

Introduction
############

Yes, yet ANOTHER installment in the pathetic ongoing saga of
life-loathing and random bitching… Back because YOU asked for it.
(Well, not really… Actually, it’s back just because I felt like
bitching some more. I don’t really give a rat’s ass about what YOU
want.) Yes, now there is an entire TRILOGY of bitching and whining
about the suckiness of life! Enough to make even the most hopeless
optimist suicidal!

In this third book, I examine the Real World and all of the
Suckiness therein. Other than that, it will be pretty much like the
previous two books: lots of bitching and moaning and complaining
about things I can’t change. The only change will be the focus of my
complaints…

The Real World
##############

No, I’m not talking about the brainless MTV show where they
get a group of idiots to live together in some loft for a few months
until they kill each other… I’m talking about that especially
sucky portion of life that comes after we are all grown-up and out of
school and actually earning money at some sort of job… Now, to
some of you this may actually sound like a GOOD thing. Well, if it
does, then you obviously haven’t actually experienced it firsthand
yet. It is NOT a fun thing. Sure, you are actually out on your own,
no longer controlled by your parents, and are free to do basically
whatever you want. However, if you do the wrong thing out here in
the Real World, the consequences are MUCH more severe than they used
to be back when you were living with your parents or going to
college…

If you didn’t feel like going to classes for a week at
college, no one gave a shit, and it wouldn’t really do you any major
harm since you could likely just catch up by reading a few chapters
in a few books (hell, I’ve had classes where I only showed up in
class to take the tests, and STILL aced the class)… However, in
the Real World, if you don’t feel like going to your job for a week,
you will be in some SERIOUS trouble. If you are lucky enough not to
lose your job, you’ll likely at least lose a week’s pay. And, while
that may not sound that serious, believe me, you need each and every
last CENT of the money you earn just to survive. The loss of even a
DAY’S pay will completely screw up your entire budget for the next
month or so…

When you were living at home with your parents, and you ran
out of cash because you blew it all on something unneccessary, the
only thing you had to worry about was not being able to buy more
unneccessary things. You were still assured of being able to have a
place to sleep and plenty of food to eat. However, out here in the
Real World, if you blow all of your money on something unneccessary,
you may very well find yourself going without such things as food and
shelter until your next paycheck…

So, in general, there is very little allowance for screw-ups
in the Real World. Certainly a hell of a lot less than there is in
college or at home with your parents…

Finding a Job
#############

Ok, the first thing you have to do to become part of the
Real World is get a job. Sounds easy enough. It isn’t… You may
think you will have no trouble at all finding a job. After all,
you’ll have a degree in XXX from YYY College, so there should be TONS
of companies knocking down your door to try to snatch up you and your
skills! Heh. Nice delusion, but nothing near reality… Jobs are
very difficult to locate. And, a GOOD job is damn near impossible to
find. So, if you are still in college, start searching now. Don’t
do like I did: wait until after you’ve actually graduated and then
begin searching.

I fully expected to find a fantastic computer programming job
that was close-by and payed me an ungodly amount of money in a matter
of a few weeks… After 3 months and hundreds of resumes, I luckily
stumbled onto a good job in Boston (I lived in northern New Hampshire,
some 3 or so hours drive away), which payed a moderately low salary…
But, it was definitely the best thing I had seen or was likely to see
anytime soon, so I snatched it up. Luckily, I’ve grown to love it,
which is a very important thing. If you don’t like your job, you
should definitely be hunting for a new one as soon as possible.
There is nothing worse than being stuck your entire life in a shitty
job that you hate. Life is bad enough on its own without the added
suckiness of working at a job you don’t enjoy…

Finding a Place to Live
#######################

This sucks… It’s generally not too hard just to find
available places to live, but it’s definitely hard to find one that
is within your price-range. And, any place that is cheap enough to
afford is generally a dump. So, to find a really good place may take
a consiberable amount of time; probably as long or longer than
finding a good job… The problem is, you usually don’t have that
much time to find one. You usually will need one RIGHT NOW, and
won’t be able to predict that you will need one a few months from
now. When you get a job, you will need to re-locate there (assuming
you aren’t one of the extremely lucky people who finds one close to
where they already are). And, there is no way of knowing in advance
where exactly “there” will be until you actually get the job (unless
you narrow down your job-hunting vicinity to a single place, which
would be truly stupid). So, when you finally get a job in East
Timbuktu or wherever, you need to move there NOW. So, the result is,
the first place you live in will generally suck or will be so
expensive as to completely drain all of your money… Or, both…
And, of course, there will likely be a lease, so you can’t move out
if you happen to find a better place once you are there. So, the
trick becomes finding a good place, with a rent you can afford, and
timing it so that you can move in there as soon as your current lease
is up…

Getting to Work
###############

So, you’ve got a job and a place to live. Chances are that
one is not within a reasonable walking distance of the other, so you
will need some method of transportation back and forth between them.
Either you can have a car and all the bills and troubles associated
with them, or you can do the public transportation thing. I’m not
sure which one is worse…

Cars are fine if you’ve got nice cheap, reliable beast, and
live/work in some small town where the people don’t drive like idiots
and there aren’t a lot of car theives waiting to swipe your vehicle
(or you have an old, ugly beast that no one would want to steal).
But, for most people, this isn’t true. And, even if it is, you still
have the normal maintenance costs, and gasoline to buy (especially
important if you DO have an old, reliable beast of a car), and the
occasional major repair. It adds up pretty quickly…

Taking public transportation, on the other hand, is pretty
cheap, compared to having a car. However, there are other problems
associated with it Mainly, having to deal with the other people who
are taking public transportation. Some of these people (and, for
some of them, that is using the term “people” quite loosely) are just
plain strange… I’ve seen more weird people on Boston buses and
subways than I’ve ever seen anywhere else in my entire life (and,
I’ve lived my entire life in New Hampshire, which is loaded with tons
of strange people). On buses, I’ve seen people who just start
randomly singing and/or talking to no one. I’ve seen others who look
like they belong to the special effects department of some science
fiction TV show. I’ve seen others who look mean enough to chew
through lead pipe. I’ve seen others who just come up and start
talking to you like they’ve known you your whole life (and the really
scary ones actually know things about you)… There are some truly
STRANGE people who take public transportation…

And, aside from the problem of weirdos, public transportation
is also slow as hell and not very reliable. There seems to be little
relation between when a bus is scheduled to arrive and when it
actually does. And, the time that it takes to get where it is going
seems to vary greatly with each trip, which makes predicting when to
leave so as to get to work on time next to impossible. There have
been days where I get to work an hour early, and others where I get
there an hour late, but yet I left my apartment at exactly the same
time, both times…

Paying Bills
############

This truly sucks… How I hate paying bills. It is a truly
sucky experience to see the money you’ve just worked so hard all week
(or two weeks in my case) for disappear in a matter of a few minutes
as you pay various bills… Rent, phone, electricity, gas, cable TV,
student loans, credit cards, etc., etc., ad infinitum… There just
seems to be no end to them. You just pay one, and another one
arrives to suck away a bit more of your money. And, after paying
them all, you MIGHT just be lucky enough to have enough left over for
luxuries like food… In fact, in order to pay them all, you may
find yourself resorting to using things like credit cards, which will
just put you further in debt and increase your bills each month. A
truly vicious circle…

Socializing, Dating, and all that Jazz
######################################

Well, this sucks whether in the Real World, or in college,
or wherever. But, at least at college, you could find time for some
socializing (if you wanted to; I had plenty of time to, but just
never wanted to). Here in the Real World, there just isn’t much damn
time for anything except work. My average day consists of: get up at
5:00am, shower, drink coffee, play on the Net for a while, get to
work at about 8:30am, work straight through the day usually taking no
lunch break whatsoever, head home at about 5:30pm, eat (finally),
watch TV for a bit, then go to bed around 10:00pm or 11:00pm… Not
really too much time for socializing of any sort. Then, on the
weekends, when I do have time, I’m usually dead tired, and just want
to sleep and/or relax to make up for working so hard all week. Of
course, even if I DID have the time, I probably wouldn’t do anything;
socializing is not my favorite activity, and I’m too damned shy to
ask out any women I’d want to go out with… But, that is an
irrelevant side-issue…

The Things that DON’T Suck
##########################

Is there any part of living in the Real World that DOESN’T
suck? Sure. You are after all on your own, free to do pretty much
whatever you please. You are making your own money and are
responsible for keeping yourself alive, which can be a pretty
satisfying experience. (Though, in a split second, I’d trade in that
bit of satisfaction for a free and clear few million dollars…)
Plus, you are now out there doing something important, and
contributing to the society as a whole, and making a global impact on
the world… Or not…

Conclusion
##########

Well, I’m not sure what the message or point of this book is.
But, I’m sure there is one in here somewhere… But, basically, I’m
just saying that life sucks; and, even more so when you are out in
the Real World. But, as usual, for all its Suckiness, life is
still worth living. Even though it is quite often painful and
hateful and completely unfair, it is still far better than the
alternative…

So, if you haven’t yet entered into the Real World, enjoy
the comparatively easy life you are currently leading… You may
think you have it hard now, but be thankful that you aren’t out here
where life is a whole hell of a lot harder…

And, if you are here in the Real World already, then you have
my sympathy and understanding… But, don’t think that you are the
only one this is happening to; everyone goes through it. Your
troubles aren’t any worse than mine (not many people’s troubles are
worse than mine) or most others. So, stop whining and feeling
sorry for yourself, and go out there and live the least Sucky life
that you possibly can… And, when life comes up and kicks you
square in the crotch, just remember that no matter how bad you’ve
got it, at least you are alive… And, at least you aren’t me…

———————————————————————
Send comments, complaints, gifts, flames, bombs, : Rob Seace
threats, money, food, naked pictures, body parts, : Agrajag
source code, jokes, quotes, alcohol, etc., to… : ras@world.std.com
———————————————————————
“Life, loathe it or ignore it. You can’t like it.” – Marvin

0

Life Sucks II: The Rantings of a Madman

By: Robert Seace (Agrajag/AJ)

Published by: Rlunatic/J.hayden pro-ductions

Yes, folks, this is the long awaited sequel to my first book: “Life
Sucks: AJ’s Philosophies and Ramblings”. In that book, I outlined my basic
attitude towards life, and various aspects of it. In this book, I pick out
a few of the things in life which I think are highest on the suckiness
scale, as well as my own unique (or, is the word I want “insane”?)
solutions to make them somewhat less sucky. And, since I’m really just
making this stuff up on the fly, who knows what other strange stuff I’ll
come up with…

Death and Taxes
—————

Yes, these are the only two things we can count on in life. And, of
course, they both suck. Death’s suckiness is rather obvious to most, and
is covered quite well in my first book. And, unfortunately, not even I can
come up with a viable solution to this one. Aside from not actually
beginning life in the first place, of course; but, that is rather difficult
for one (or even TWO) to prevent happening to themselves…

However, taxes are a new topic for me. Their suckiness, again, is
obvious to most. Though, believe it or not, SOME people actually think
taxes are necessary, and actually SUPPORT them! But, that isn’t all that
surprising, knowing that humans all suck, anyway, and are, on the whole, a
quite strange lot of beings… But, it seems to me to be a VERY sucky
practice for the government to take a large chunk of our hard-earned money
away from us. They want us all to work hard, so that we don’t have to go
on welfare or something, and take THEIR money, but when we do, they come in
and take OUR money. The greedy little bastards… I say let the
government earn its money like all other charities and such: with Bingo
games, rummage sales, food drives, bake sales, raffles, and other similar
things. They already have control over one of the most profitable
industries in the country: the sale of alcohol. (Yes, I know that is the
STATE government, but government is government, as far as I’m concerned.)
Plus, they also already run some of the only legal gambling in some states:
lotteries. So, they shouldn’t really be stealing OUR hard-earned money,
too. If the money they make on the above-mentioned enterprises is not
enough for their needs, they can always invest it in the stock market or
something. Of course, if the idiots stopped buying $100 hammers and
spending millions researching such ‘important’ things as the consistency of
catsup, they might save enough so that they wouldn’t NEED our money…

I wouldn’t be complaining so much if the tax system were actually
fair, but it isn’t. As the great George Carlin once said: “The rich make a
LOT of money, and pay NONE of the taxes; the middle class makes a LITTLE
bit of money, and pays ALL of the taxes; and, the poor are just there to
scare the shit out the middle class, and keep them going to those jobs.”
And, unfortunately, this is all too true. If they HAVE to tax us, at least
tax fairly, and make the ones who can afford to pay the taxes actually be
the ones paying them. I mean it isn’t going to be too much of an
inconvenience to a person with $400,000,000 to pay in say $200,000,000 in
taxes (maybe they won’t be able to buy that fifth mansion this year). But,
instead of doing that, they would rather take $8,000 from a person making
$40,000. It only takes simple logic and arithmetic to see that the latter
person has SIGNIFICANTLY less money left over after taxes than the former
person. I mean, what in hell do these people NEED with these hundreds of
millions of dollars, anyway?? They can better afford to part with some
than the latter person can… It all seems so obvious; and, I’m sure that
is precisely why our illustrious government hasn’t yet figured it out…

Madonna and Michael Jackson
—————————

I’ve yet to see worse examples of so-called singers than these two
annoying, tuneless, brainless idiots. Neither one of them should even be
allowed to sing in the shower, let alone distribute albums. And, the sad
and ironic part is that many people actually like them. Why? Who knows;
my guess is mass stupidity, or at least tone deafness… There is nothing
worse than watching MTV or listening to the radio, and listening to a good
tune (which they do occasionally play on both MTV and some radio stations,
believe it or not), and then have a Madonna or Michael Jackson song come
on. I really hate that. It’s almost as bad as having that stupid
Encyclopedia Britannica commercial come on… And, there is no real
solution to this one either, unfortunately, until everyone comes to their
senses and realizes that these two ‘singers’ suck (of course, I’m not
holding my breath while I wait for this to happen; after all, DISCO is
making a comeback, so I’ve pretty much lost ALL of my confidence in the
musical tastes of most Americans). So, for now, my temporary solution is
to change the channel/station, or just shut it off and put in a good tape,
like the Beatles, or the Who, or Metallica, or Guns ‘n’ Roses, or Nirvana,
or any of the other great bands that ARE out there in this vast musical
wasteland…

Environmentalists and Polluters
——————————-

Yes, BOTH sides suck (of course, by just being humans, they suck; but,
I’m analyzing their POSITIONS here, not their humanity). Those that
pollute the planet, and strip it of its resources for their own selfish
uses do indeed suck, as most people would agree. They are arrogant, self-
important little bastards, who think they and the rest of their species OWN
this planet, and can do anything they like to it. If it makes them a
little richer or something, then they don’t care if it makes a few dozen
species extinct, or if it eventually results in the death of everyone on
the planet…

But, something most would NOT agree with me on is that most people who
call themselves environmentalists suck, too… How can I say that, you
ask? Very easily, I answer… Again, I draw from George Carlin’s words of
wisdom, and much of the following will be paraphrased from him. The
environmentalists don’t really care about the Earth; all they are concerned
with is that they have a nice place to live. Such shallow self-concern
doesn’t impress me. Even they think of the Earth as merely a place for us
humans to live; they just want us to clean it up a bit so that we don’t
have to live in filth (think of your mother telling you to clean your room;
she doesn’t have you do that because she actually thinks the house would
prefer to be clean, she does it because she doesn’t want such filth in HER
house for HER children to live in). Typical human arrogance… Plus, what
makes them think that we, one little insignificant biological species can
destroy a whole planet?? The Earth has been around a whole hell of a lot
longer than we have, and will be here long after we are gone. So, this
“Save the Earth” nonsense is pure crap. We can’t even take care of
ourselves, and yet we expect to be able to save a whole damned PLANET?!?
Just think of the stuff the Earth has been through: ice ages, earthquakes,
volcanos, magnetic pole reversal, bombardment by asteroids, constant
exposure to solar radiation, etc., etc… And, we think some styrofoam
fast food containers are going to destroy the planet?? No, the planet is
going nowhere; WE are… Just one more failed species. No big loss,
either.

So, my solution is to be neither… Just respect the planet, out of
pure respect, not out of any self-serving goals. Treat it how you’d like
to be treated if you were the planet. The Native Americans had a good
philosophy in that respect. Recognize that we are NOT the only species
(or, even the most intelligent species, probably) on this planet. But, if
you want to pollute and abuse the planet, fine, go ahead; you won’t do it
any harm, but rather will just hasten the end of our species, which I’m
sure will be a joyous occasion throughout the rest of the civilized
universe. I know I’m certainly looking forward to it, even though I
probably won’t be around to witness it, unfortunately…

Macintoshes and Pepsi Cola
————————–

These are perhaps the two vilest commercial products on the market.
I’m not sure who is responsible for making these things so popular, but I’d
be willing to bet they are the same imbeciles responsible for the
popularity of Madonna and Michael Jackson… Macs are cheesy little
child’s toys masquerading as computers, and Pepsi is over-sweetened camel
piss masquerading as a soda… And, while I can safely proclaim that the
Apple company itself sucks, I can not say that about the makers of Pepsi,
since their company also produces that marvelous, caffeine-packed product:
Mt. Dew. So, I must conclude that either they just screwed up when they
created Pepsi Cola, and kept producing it merely because the idiot populace
actually liked the vile substance, OR they just got lucky when they made
Mt. Dew… It’s hard to say which… And, while I love Coca Cola
(Classic), I must say that whoever was responsible for the creation of this
New Coke, should be shot immediately. They take a wonderful soda, and try
to make it more like the carbonated camel piss called Pepsi. Why? What
were they thinking? I say that they weren’t… But, fortunately, they
came back to their senses and brought back the original formula, and called
it Coke Classic. Now, they can sell to both markets: those who actually
have some sense of taste, and those who drink Pepsi-like liquids… As far
as solutions, this falls into the same category as the Madonna and Michael
Jackson problem…

Exercise Machinery
——————

The StairMaster! The StepMaster! Treadmills! Stationary bicycles!
Rowing machines! Cross-country skiing machines! Have we really all lost
our minds?? I mean, what in the HELL is the logic behind blowing hundreds
of dollars on a machine that simulates GOING UP AND DOWN STAIRS?!? Here’s
a unique idea: why not just go climb a few flights of REAL stairs?? It’s a
hell of a lot cheaper, and as a bonus you actually GO somewhere, too…
The same holds for all of the other above-mentioned machines: just go do
the real thing! Geez, some people will buy anything… But, the absolute
WORST exercise ‘machine’ I saw advertised was a slick plastic mat which
came with a pair of fluffy slippers which you put on and then used them to
slide around on the mat… Is it just me, or does this sound suspiciously
like sliding on a freshly waxed floor in your socks? Why not just do THAT,
rather than send these money-hungry bastards $50 for this cheesy little mat
and slipper set?!? Why? Because, people are stupid… But, I never cease
to be amazed at their levels of stupidity… And, the only solution here
is for the populace buying these stupid machines to use their brains on
occasion. Then, they might actually go ride a REAL bike, or climb some
REAL stairs, instead of blowing hundreds of bucks on a machine to simulate
that activity… But, again, I doubt that this will happen; humans are
stupid…

Murderers, Rapists, Racists, and Idiots
—————————————

I say that we should spend some money to make a life-supporting
colony on Mars or maybe the moon, and then send all of the murderers (who
UNJUSTLY murdered, of course), rapists, racists, and plain old idiots (hey,
now that I think about it, this would solve the Madonna/Michael Jackson
and Pepsi/Macintosh problems, too!) to live there… Never would we have
to be bothered by these degenerate low-lifes, again… And, we wouldn’t
need to spend money on gaurding them (where are you going to escape to from
another planet??), or feeding them (let them grow their own food if they
want to eat)… So, the only cost would be in sending them to the colony
initially, and maybe maintaining the colony (repairs to the pressure system
or something once in a while; or, we could just let them learn how to do
the repairs themselves, which is a better idea, actually), and of course
the initial cost of creating the colony… But, that would still be quite
a savings over what is spent now on keeping murderers and rapists locked up
(unfortunately, it is not yet a crime to be a racist or idiot)… Or, if
we didn’t have enough to build such a colony, then we could just skip the
“life-supporting” part, and let the bastards worry about how to breathe
on their own… Unfortunately, such a plan isn’t likely to actually be
implemented, as our government is run by fools (amazingly stupid ones),
who prefer to spend as much as possible for as little as possible, and
would much rather put a criminal in jail where they can learn how to be
a better criminal, than to actually punish them in some way…

Lobsters
——–

No, I don’t think lobsters themselves suck… I think the process
of how they are cooked sucks… They boil the poor sons of bitches ALIVE
in a pot of water! Geez, could we find some crueler way of cooking these
animals, perhaps? Maybe flame broil them alive? Or, hell, let’s just
eat them raw and alive; rip those snapping claws right off, and bite in!
Christ, I knew humans were mean, lousy bastards, but this is cruel even
for them… How would YOU like to be boiled alive?? I think that’s what
we should do to people who do cook lobsters like that… Don’t get me
wrong; I have nothing against people killing animals to eat, but I just
think we should be a hell of a lot more humane about it… At least kill
the poor lobster before cooking it… Just think of the uproar there would
be if we made our steaks by throwing a live calf on a fire… Sure, the
animal-lovers would be upset about THAT, but apparently lobsters aren’t as
important to them as cows… After all, lobsters aren’t cute to look at,
and don’t make any sort of sound, or even any facial expressions, so why
feel bad about killing them any way we want? Oh how I hate such self-serving
human attitudes… Of course, I know they’ll never change, and lobsters will
likely continue to be boiled to death so people with money to blow can have
a gourmet dinner…

Conclusion
———-

Well, I’ve ranted and rambled on enough for this book, I guess…
Plus, my account disappears in 2 days from now, so I want to get this
distributed on the Net before I cease to be a Net-dweller…
So, as you can see, there are many things in life which really
suck… And, I know that my solutions would all work, if they were
ever implemented; but, I know they never will be… So, we are still
forced to live in life’s suckiness, until we die… (Maybe they should
put that on a Hallmark card…) The only way that we could ever possibly
get out of life’s suckiness is if we all smartened up and stopped acting
like brainless, self-centered, moronic schmucks; in other words, stopped
being humans… But, since the chances of that happening are slightly
worse than the chances of the Eiffel Tower spontaneously transforming into
a sewer rat, I’m not holding my breath while waiting for it to occur…
Until my next book, have a non-overly-sucky life… And, always
remember that Life Sucks; so, quit your whining, shut up, and learn to deal…

0

Life Sucks: AJ’s Philosophies and Ramblings
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author: Robert Alan Seace (Agrajag/AJ)
Publisher: Rlunatic/Jhayden Pro-ductions

Introduction
^^^^^^^^^^^^

Let me introduce my wonderful (and absolutely true) book
with a wonderful (and absolutely true) poem, which sets the proper
mood.

Life – by AJ (based on a theme by Hep/Jhayden)
~~~~
Life sucks
Sewer rats.
Big ones,
Wet ones,
Lithe ones,
Gaudy ones.
Life sucks
Sewer rats…

This poem brings up an important notion, and one of the
major foundations of my philosophy: sewer rats. What exactly are
sewer rats? What is their cosmic significance? And, why does life
choose to suck them? These and other questions will be answered in
the following chapter…

Those Sucky Sewer Rats
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

As many of you may already know, the concept of the sewer rat
having some cosmic significance was first introduced by one of the
great thinkers (and co-publishers) of our time: Hepzibah, AKA: Julia
Hayden. Upon hearing her thoughts and beliefs about the relationship
between life and sewer rats, I adopted them as part of my own philosophy.
The rest of this chapter details my own interpretations of the original
Sewer Rat Doctrines by Hep. For more information about her original
statements, see the chapter entitled “Hepzibah’s Sewer Rat Doctrines”.

I’m sure many of you are asking, “What exactly IS a sewer rat?”
If you aren’t asking that, please do so now, before continuing. Well,
a sewer rat, quite simply, is a disgustingly dirty rodent who inhabits
basins of human waste. If you think about it, this is actually a very
deep and meaningful metaphor for us. That’s right, US; human beings.
“How so?” you may ask. “That’s obvious, you moron,” I might answer.
We are nothing more than disgustingly dirty rodents, ourselves, who are
forced to live on this chunk of rock we call the Earth. In this case,
it isn’t WHERE we live (the Earth) which is represented by the metaphorical
human waste, but rather the act of LIVING, itself. Essentialy, life is
one big pile of shit. So, to say that “Life sucks sewer rats” is really
a very complex and meaningful phrase. It is sort of a multiple-layered
metaphor, which would take far more than this one book to examine in
complete detail. Suffice it to say that the general gist of what is
being said is that life is not a very fun experience…

AJ’s Life Experiences and the UEF
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

By now, you are probably wondering why I have such a negative
outlook on life. If you aren’t wondering this, please do so now, before
continuing. The reason why I have this negative outlook on life is
actually rather simple: because life does indeed suck sewer rats. I
realize this is a rather recursive argument, but I don’t care. Why do
I believe that life sucks sewer rats? Because, everything I have
experienced in my 21 years of life has proved to me that this is so.
Sure, there is the occasional bright spot every now and then, but life
on the whole still remains as horrid as ever.

Usually, after any Good Thing which happens in a person’s life,
something of a Magnitude of Badness at least double that of the Magnitude
of Goodness of the previous Good Thing will inevitably occur. I have
witnessed this phenomenon countless times in my own and others lives. I
have labelled this phenomenon the Unequal Equalizing Factor (UEF) of life.
I hypothesize that it is impossible for any human being to experience a
total lifetime Magnitude of Goodness greater than one-half (1/2) of their
total lifetime Magnitude of Badness. In fact, I have never yet come across
a person who has experienced even that much Goodness, but my experiments
lead me to the conclusion that such a Magnitude of Goodness is actually
possible under extremely lucky conditions. However, the chances of such
conditions occuring are very VERY small. The average human Magnitude of
Goodness is approximately one-millionth (1/1000000) of their Magnitude of
Badness. The lowest recorded UEF ratio was my very own: one-quadrillionth
(1/1000000000000000). So, this may explain why I’m writing this book…

Love Sucks, Too
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Ah, yes, love. That odd, mystical, indescribable state of being,
which can either be the most wonderful thing in one’s life, or the most
horrible thing in their life. Since love is a part of life, then, by
default, it must suck, too. But, in fact, love actually has an SI (Sucking
Index) which is much higher than any other aspect of life. Let’s examine
why this is so.

While in a state of love, one is blinded to the Suckiness of life.
I have labelled this phenomenon LIBAL (Love Induced Blindness About Life).
The cause of LIBAL is unknown, but it is suspected that love is actually
a very powerful, telepathic drug, which numbs various parts of the brain,
including the areas responsible for noticing the Suckiness of life. As a
result, the subject in love sees everything as wonderful and great. Of
course, if one is continually subjected to this love drug for long enough,
it’s affect will fade as the subject builds up a tolerence. And, just as
with any other drug, if taken away suddenly, it causes drastic affects to
the subject. Suddenly, the subject sees life clearly again, in it’s full
Suckiness. Often, subjects can’t handle this transition back to a love-free
mind, and either go insane, kill themselves, become Internet BBS’ers, or
a combination of the above…

I could go into a very long and detailed explanation and proof
of the above, using my own and others’ life experiences as evidence.
However, that would take up far too much time and space, and is a subject
worthy of it’s own book. (In fact, if this book is profitable for me, I
may write a book about that very topic: “Love Sucks, Swallows, and Bites”.)

School Sucks
^^^^^^^^^^^^

We all know this one to be true, and I’m sure I won’t get much
dispute. Whether you are in High School, College, or Grad School, the
universal fact remains that school sucks. You are forced to do tons of
inane homework, take pointless tests, and get little or no sleep. And,
all for what? A piece of parchment paper with your name on it, which
you might get after several years of this torture, if you are lucky. Why
do we put ourselves through this self-induced torture? Because we are
greedy, and we want jobs where we can make lots of money when we finally
graduate. Typical human nature…

Humans Suck
^^^^^^^^^^^

Yes, human beings themselves suck. We are the proverbial Sewer
Rats. We are useless, arrogant, ignorant, violent, and just generally
not nice guys. If you don’t believe me (and, if you are like most humans,
you don’t believe me), then just take a look at some of the things we
humans have done: We have started wars over such stupid things as religion
(see chapter “Religion Sucks”). We have killed millions and billions of
people for no apparent reason. We have destroyed our own planet, and
other life forms we share it with (which we automatically assume we are
better than, by the way). Etc… Perhaps this explains WHY exactly our
lives do suck: it is some sort of payback for our whole species being
such dicks…

Religion Sucks
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Religion. Those useless, time-wasting, archaic beliefs which
people use to help them deal with life and death (see chapter “Death
Sucks Even More”), since they just can’t handle the reality. They need
to believe that there is something wonderful waiting for them after they
die. Otherwise, they just couldn’t deal with the fact that life sucks
as much as it does. They usually view life as some sort of trial they
have to go through in order to make it to the Wonderful Afterlife…
Poor, deluded bastards… They just can’t accept the fact that this is
it, this is all there is to life, and it sucks. And, there are no refunds
or exchanges…

Death Sucks Even More
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

By now, I’ve probably depressed you to the point of considering
suicide… Well, don’t do it, because death sucks even worse than life.
At least while you are alive, you’ve got a chance (however slim) of having
something good happen to you. But, when you are dead, you are… well,
dead… Nothing good will happen to you, in fact NOTHING at all will
happen to you; or, if it does, you won’t know about it. You are just
buried in the ground to rot, and become food for various creatures. Not
a fun thing to have happen to you. So, my advice is just to learn to
deal with the suckiness of life, and hope you have a high UEF…

Is There Anything That Doesn’t Suck?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Not too damn much… But, there are a few things in this life
which actually are good. Among them are: Internet, computers, and
Quartzers/Prismers/Sunseters… Now, I’m sure many of you have had bad
and Sucky experiences with some of the above, but those things are not
the cause of the Suckiness, but rather it is just life’s Suckiness which
is causing them to malfuntion. (Note: There are exceptions to this rule.
Among those exceptions are Macintoshes, Toilet Bowl, and Bert.) But,
there is little else in life that doesn’t suck…

Conclusion
^^^^^^^^^^

Ok, you are most likely saying to yourself, “What a whining
imbecile. Big deal; what is he trying to prove?” Well, nothing, really.
I just wanted to bitch a little bit, and let the masses know how much
life really does suck. Try to wake up the ignorant and/or blind and/or
braindead optimists (I hear rumors that some of these still exist; it’s
sad, really). Life is not a fun experience, and should be avoided if at
all possible. However, if you are reading this, you are most likely
already alive, and so Life is the lesser of two evils in that case. My
only suggestion for dealing with Life is to go completely crazy every now
and then, whether you need to or not. This helps immensely, and can
prevent a complete, total, and permanent loss of sanity at a later date.
Other than that, just shut up and deal with it… And, always know that
no matter how bad your life is, at least you aren’t me…

—————————————————————————-

Appendix
========

Hepzibah’s Sewer Rat Doctrines
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I owe much of my philosophy to Hep’s Sewer Rat Doctrines, and
so I include them here for the reader’s enjoyment and enlightenment…

++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Begin Quoted Text +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thu Oct 22 21:54:07 1992 from Hepzibah
well. as some of you know, I am renowned through the internet for my way with
words. (not spelling them, but for linking them in a charming intelligent
manner)

many of you may have seen the evolution of “…sucks dead sewer rats”
(c) Hepzibah 1991,1992. FreeWords with proper acknowledgement. into a more
complex phrasing such as todays version:

“it sucks wild wet siberian sewer rats with amex cards.”

What follows is a brief group of adjectives that could be used in place of the
various adjectives (and adjectival phrases), or in conjunction with the ones
above. The more adjectives the greater the sucking.

red headed poodle-skirt wearing Elvis-impersonating Vegetarian
Toga-clad self-confident Pocket Protector wearing
Hep-Quoting Rumabing Glove-keeping Big-footed
black-toed cross-dressing golden-locked Monarchist
gaudy angst-ridden postage pre-paid evildoing
delusional deathly ill jingoistic Orthodox
Reaganesque lithe marxist Merovingian
—
from Amherst from Hell in spandex with PhDs
in Operas like nobody’s business fourfold on Mars
—

there are of course many more, but you get the idea
BLATANT PLUG: Use em! Use em! They are GUARENTEED to get people talking
about YOU. Papers! Theses! Exams! In Class! To your Parents! To my parents!
In a store! In the paper! On-line! To your friends! To your enemies!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ End Quoted Text +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Simply amazing, isn’t it? Is it any wonder why Hepzibah was
voted Best Internet TeleCommunications Historian, as well as Magnanimous
Enlightened Above Normal Internet Educator, and Internet’s Amazing Most
Dauntingly Erudite and Adept Demigod (narrowly beating the only other
nominee: Harriet)? 😉

I hope you have enjoyed this book, and will send me tons of
money, and that a beautiful naked woman covered with… *ahem* Nevermind
that… Always remember: Life Sucks!

||======================================================================||
|| Robert A. Seace || Senior at UNH || E-mail: ras@kepler.unh.edu ||
|| AKA: Agrajag || CS major || ||
||======================================================================||
“No, no, Marvin, that’s just fine, really…just part of life.” “Life, don’t
talk to me about life.” – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

0

EMERGENCY RESCUE GUIDELINES
FOR
AIR BAG EQUIPPED CARS *

Incident with a Fire

First use normal fire extinguishing procedures
then follow the rescue guidelines below.

Incident with a Deployed Air Bag

Use normal rescue procedures and equipment.

Do not delay medical attention.

DEPLOYED AIR BAGS ARE NOT DANGEROUS

However, they do produce a dust that may cause minor skin or eye irritation
which can be prevented by:

— Wearing gloves and eye protection
— Keeping the dust away from the patient’s eyes and wounds
— Removing gloves and washing hands after exposure to the dust

Incident with an Undeployed Air Bag

An Undeployed air bag is unlikely to deploy after a crash.

Most incidents will not require rescuers to work in what would be the
deployment path of the air bag; therefore, rescue operations can begin without
delay.

IN THOSE RARE INSTANCES WHEN SOMEONE IS PINNED DIRECTLY
BEHIND AN UNDEPLOYED AIR BAG, SPECIAL PROCEDURES SHOULD
BE FOLLOWED:

— Disconnect or cut both battery cables safely
— Avoid placing your body or objects against the air bag module,
or in what would be the deployment path of the air bag
— Do not mechanically displace or cut through the steering column,
until after the system has been fully deactivated
— Do not cut or drill into the air bag module
— Do not apply heat in the area of the steering wheel hub

* Based on information provided by the National Highway Traffic Safety
Administration (NHTSA) by the automobile and air bag manufacturers, and
coordinated with the U.S. Fire Administration (USFA).

If your questions are not answered below, please contact the NHTSA Office of
Occupant Protection, NTS-13, Washington, DC, 20590, or the USFA Office of
Firefighter Health and Safety, NETC, Emmitsburg, MD 21727.
AIR BAG-EQUIPPED CAR EMERGENCY RESCUE QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

Q1. How does an air bag work?

Most air bag-equipped cars on the road today have a driver-side air bag. A
few makes, Lincoln, Mercedes, and Porsche, have both driver- and
passenger-side air bags as standard or optional equipment. The air bag is
designed to supplement the protection offered by safety belts. In a frontal
impact of sufficient severity (comparable to a collision into a solid wall at
10-14 MPH or above), sensors in the vehicle detect the sudden deceleration and
trigger the inflator module. This causes the solid chemical propellant sealed
inside the inflator, principally sodium azide, to undergo a rapid chemical
reaction. This reaction produces primarily nitrogen gas, the same gas that
makes up 80 percent of the air we breathe. The gas inflates a woven nylon bag
packed inside the steering wheel hub or the instrument panel for the front seat
passenger. The bag inflates in less than one-twentieth of a second, splitting
open its protective cover, and inflating in front of the occupant. As the
occupant contacts the bag, the nitrogen gas is vented through openings in the
back of the bag, which helps to cushion forward movement.

Because air bags are designed to deploy only in frontal or near-frontal
crashes–not in side, rear, or rollover crashes–it is possible that you will
be involved in rescuing someone from a car with an air bag that did not deploy.

Q2. How do I identify a car equipped with an air bag?

If the bag has deployed, you will be able to see it dropping from the steering
wheel hub or the instrument panel om the passenger side.

If the bag did not deploy, several methods can be used. The steering wheel hub
is large and rectangular, (about 6″ X 9″). The large hub usually will be
covered with a scored, soft plastic material. The words, “Supplemental
Inflatable Restraint,” “Air Bag,” or initials such as “S.I.R.,” or “SRS,” may
be embossed somewhere on the surface. In most cases, the Vehicle
Identification Number (VIN) can be used to determine the presence of an air
bag. Exhibit 1 shows the codes used by the auto manufacturers. Some
manufacturers indicate the presence of an air bag system by placing placards
under the hood and on the driver side windshield pillar.

If you cannot determine whether the car is equipped with an air bag, you
should assume that it has one, particularly if it’s a late model car, and
follow the guidelines for air bag cars.

Q3. Is smoke produced during deployment?

There are three kinds of “smoke.” First, many people mistake the corn starch
or talcum powder used to lubricate the bag as smoke. These substances should
not be a problem for rescue workers or accidents victims. Second, a sealant
which is used to prolong the life of the air bag system can smoke when the air
bag is deployed. This smoke dissipates rapidly and should not be cause for
concern. Lastly, during deployment, small particles from inside some bag
systems are vented into the passenger compartment. These airborne particles
look like some, and some are deposited as a powdery residue on and around the
bag.

Q4. Is the air bag hot?

The bag itself will not be hot. Some components within the air bag module will
be hot for a short time, but they are relatively in accessible and should pose
no threat to rescue personnel or crash victims. However personal contact with
the steering wheel hub should be avoided for at least 15 minutes after
deployment.

Q5. What about the powdery residue on and around the air bag?

The residue is primarily corn starch or talcum powder, which is used to
lubricate the bag as it deploys, and by-products of the chemical reaction that
produces the nitrogen gas to inflate the air bag. This residue may contain a
small amount of a potential skin irritant, sodium hydroxide.

The same gloves and eye protection that rescuers would normally wear to protect
themselves (from sharp metal edges, glass, or from bodily fluids) also will
prevent any irritation to the skin or eyes resulting from the residue release
during deployment. Thus, the potential for this type of exposure is not severe
enough to warrant delaying rescue operations. Hands should be washed with mild
soap and water after handeling a deployed bag. Also avoid rubbing your eyes,
eating, or smoking after handeling the bag until you have removed the gloves
and washed your hands. Rescuers also should take care to avoid introducing the
residue into the eyes or any wounds of the patient. If the residue gets into
the eyes, they should be flushed with water.

Q6. Is there any sodium azide in the residue? Is it harmful?

There is no detectable amount of sodium azide residue present in the passenger
compartment after an air bag deployment. Sodium azide, a component of the air
bag inflator propellent, converts to the nitrogen gas used to inflate the air
bag. Sodium azide in it’s solid state is toxic, but since it is hermetically
sealed in a very strong metal container, which itself is located inside a
protective housing within the steering hub, it is unlikely that rescue workers
will be exposed.

Q7. If a undeployed air bag module is somehow ruptured, what precautions
should be taken?

In the unlikely event that the canister containing the sodium azide-based
propellent is ruptured, any unburned propellent will be found in a variety of
pressed tablet forms. Do not touch or ingest any exposed propellent or expose
it to an ignition source. As in all other rescue operations, rescuers should
wear gloves and eye protection.

Q8. Is the sodium azide canister likely to explode during a car fire?

No. The air bag is designed to inflate normally in the event that a vehicle
fire causes the canister to be heated above 300 Degrees F. Consequently it is
possible that the air bag will deploy in a car fire, but there should be no
fragmentation of the inflator.

Q9. If there is a fire in an air bag car, can water be used to extinguish it?

Yes. Any effective firefighting medium, including water, may be used to
extinguish a fire in an air bag-equipped car.

Q10. Is it all right to breathe the passenger compartment air after an air bag
has deployed?

Chemical analyses of deployment by-products show no reason for concern. Also
tests have been conducted with volunteers, chronic asthmatics known to be
highly susceptible to airborne particles. These tests showed that the
atmosphere produced by an air bag inflation posed no respiratory system hazard
to the asthmatics studied.

Q11. What has been the experience of crash test personnel in dealing with air
bag-equipped cars?

NHTSA has crash tested more than 70 with air bags. The test engineers and
technicians who regularly handle deployed air bags and test dummies have
reported no ill effects from their repeated exposure to the products of air bag
deployments.

Q12. If the air bag did not deploy in the crash, is it likely to deploy after
the crash?

No. The sensor devices used to activate the system are designed to respond
only to the type of violent forces present during a crash. It is unlikely that
the same type of forces will be created during rescue operations.

In most cases, rescue operations can proceed normally and without delay. In
the unlikely event that a driver or passenger is pinned behind an undeployed
air bag, it will be necessary to take special precautions (See Q15).

Q13. If the air bag(s) did not deploy in the crash, can the system be
deactivated?

The electrically activated systems used on most air bag-equipped cars can be
deactivated. First, disconnect or cut both battery cables. This will begin
the deactivation period for the backup power system that it part of most
electrically activated systems. For some vehicle makes, deactivation will
occur in a matter of seconds; others take a few minutes, (See Exhibit 2).
Mechanically activated systems, used only on 1990 Jaguar coupes and
convertibles, cannot be deactivated in the field.
EXHIBIT 1

VEHICLE IDENTIFICATION NUMBER (VIN) CODES
FOR DRIVER- AND PASSENGER-SIDE AIR BAGS

MODEL VIN VIN
MAKE SERIES YEARS POSITION VALUE TYPE
_________________________________________________________________________

ACURA LEGEND 1988-91 4-5 KA D
NSX 1991 4-5 NA D

AUDI 1989-91 6 5 D

BENTLEY 1990-91 8 D D

BMW 1986-91 8 1 D

BUICK 1990-91 7 3 D

CADILLAC 1989-91 7 3 D

CHEVROLET 1990-91 7 3 D

CHRYSLER 1988-91 4 X or Y D
TC MASERATI 1991 7 2 D

DODGE 1988-91 4 X or Y D

FORD 1985-91 4 C D

INFINITY 1990-91 8 C D
G-20 1990 8 C D

ISUZU 1990-91 7 3 D

JAGUAR PALLETTE COLLECT 5 W D
XJS 1990-91
CLASSIC COLLECT 1991

LEXUS 1990-91 4 C D

LINCOLN 1990-91 4 C D
1989-91 4 L D/P

MAZDA MX-5 1990-91 4-8 NA351 D
RX-7/Convertible 1990-91 4-8 FC352 D

MERCEDES BENZ 1984-91 8 B or D D
1989-91 8 E D/P

* D = DRIVER SIDE AIR BAG
D/P = DRIVER-SIDE AIR BAG and PASSENGER-SIDE AIR BAG

Q14. Should rescuers wait for the system to be fully deactivated before
proceeding with rescue operations?

Except for the special case of someone being pinned behind an undeployed air
bag, rescue operations can and should begin immediately. Rescue workers should
not place themselves or any objects on the air bag module (the face of the
steering wheel hub), or in what would be the deployment path of the air bag.

Q15. What if someone is pinned behind a steering wheel or instrument panel
with an undeployed air bag?

In the unlikely event that a driver or front seat passenger is pinned behind an
undeployed air bag, special procedures should be followed.

If circumstances permit, wait for the system to be fully deactivated before
attempting to remove the victim (See Q13 for deactivation procedures).

You need not wait to provide medical attention, so long as you do not place
your body or any objects on the air bag module, or in what would be the
deployment path of the air bag.

If the patient must be removed at once, extrication efforts should be performed
from the side of the entrapped victim, and away from the potential deployment
path of the air bag. Do not place your body or other objects against the air
bag module. Do not mechanically displace or cut through the steering column
unless the air bag system has already been fully deactivated. At no time,
should anyone drill into the air bag module, or apply heat (above 300 Deg. F)
in the same area of the steering wheel hub.

In the case of the mechanically activated system currently found only on 1990
Jaguar coupes and convertibles, extreme care should be taken to avoid sharp,
jolting impacts to the steering column, particularly in a forward or rearward
direction. Cutting of the steering wheel rim or the column is permissible, if
the previously mentioned types of impacts can be avoided.

NOTE: Crashes that result in victims being pinned behind an undeployed air bag
will be rare. NHTSA has not heard of such a case among the thousands of
crashes documented to date. A unusual combination of circumstances, for
example, a direct side impact which buckled the floor upward beneath the
victim, would have to be present to trap someone without deploying the air bag.

Q16. Occasionally we use damaged cars for rescue training purposes. The cars
are scrapped after we finish the training. Should we take any
precautions to prevent an unwanted deployment during training?

Before using an air bag-equipped car for training purposes, deploy the air bag.
A procedure for deploying the air bag can be found in the service manual,
provided by each manufacturer to its dealers. Contact the car dealer for
assistance.

EXHIBIT 1 (Continued)

MODEL VIN VIN
MAKE SERIES YEARS POSITION VALUE TYPE
_________________________________________________________________________

MERCURY 1985-91 4 C D

MITSUBISHI 1990-91 4 X D

NISSAN 1987-88 8 B D
1989-91 8 C D

OLDSMOBILE 1988-91 7 3 D

PLYMOUTH 1988-91 4 X or Y D

PONTIAC 1989-91 7 3 D

PORSCHE 1987-91 6 2 D/P

ROLLS ROYCE 1990-91 8 D D

SAAB 900 1990-91 5 L or K D
9000 1988 5 L D
9000 1989-91 5 L or K D

TOYOTA SUPRA 1990-91 4-8 MA70M;MA70N D
MA71M;MA71N

CELICA 1990-91 4-8 ST88P;ST87F D
ST87N;ST85N
AT86F;ST87K

MR2 1991 4-8 SW21M;SW21N D
SW22M;SW22N

VOLKSWAGON 1989 6 9 D
CABRIOLET 1990-91 6 5 D

VOLVO 1989-91 5 A D

EXHIBIT 2

DEACTIVATION TIMES FOR AIR BAG BACKUP POWER SUPPLY

VEHICLE MAKE TIME
_____________________________________________________

Acura 15 Seconds

Audi 10 Seconds

Bentley 30 Minutes

BMW 20 Minutes

Chrysler 2 Minutes

Ford *

GM 10 Minutes

Isuzu 10 Minutes

Lexus 20 Seconds

Mazda 10 Minutes

Mercedes 1 Second

Mitsubishi 30 Seconds

Nissan 10 Minutes

Porsche 10 Minutes

Rolls Royce 30 Minutes

Saab 20 Minutes **

Toyota 20 Seconds

Volvo 10 Seconds

VW (Cabriolet) 10 Minutes

* MY 1985-89 = 0; MY 1990 = 15 minutes;
MY 1991 = 1 minute if positive battery
cable is shorted to ground, 15 minutes
if not shorted out
** 0 Seconds if panel beneath steering column
is removed & orange connector to air bag
module is disconnected

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0

Some thoughts on the natural language ESPERANTO and its use in
implementing “intelligent machines” with greater success.

Esperanto, the international language, has existed for one
hundred years, and is thus the most modern of all the natural
languages. Incorrectly termed “artificial”; the correct word is
“planned”. With no exceptions to its rules, “grammar-coded”
Esperanto can demonstrate the language structure lacking in
English.

LANGUAGE IS ALL ABOUT THINGS (nouns) AND THE ACTIONS (verbs)
OF ENERGETIC THINGS:

ONE THING……..ACTS ON…….ANOTHER THING.

Birdo…………kaptas……..insekton.
A bird catches an insect.

SUBJECT NOUN VERB OBJECT NOUN

===========================================================
Esperanto is “grammar-coded”. You can tell what part each
word plays in the sentence from the word endings:

—o —on
SIMPLE SUBJECT NOUN SIMPLE OBJECT NOUN

If there is more than one of the same thing (plural):

—oj (as in boy) —ojn (as in coin)
PLURAL SUBJECT NOUN PLURAL OBJECT NOUN
===========================================================

To show when the action takes place, the verb TENSE (time) is
changed by putting these endings on the verb roots:

PRESENT TENSE: —as describes it as it happens

PAST TENSE: —is shows an action completed

FUTURE TENSE: —os action still to begin

Birdoj…………kaptis………….insektojn.
Birds caught insects.

Birdoj…………kaptos………….insektojn.
Birds will catch insects.

===========================================================
Every noun and every verb follows the above rules
*** WITHOUT EXCEPTION ***
===========================================================

Because the SUBJECT and OBJECT nouns are identified by
grammer-coding, the word order in Esperanto is free. All the
following sentences describe correctly the pictures: (Only the
emphasis is changed).

_ _Ф-Ф_
|_ {п)
| \/~)о
| _/ о\ \
| |=о-) \млллмм
| / ) {~)плллллмм======К
| | У| _____/ )-плллллOлм======К
э | /|| ——млммплллллллм
[]о || \ плллллллллллм
/ ==| ==| ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
/
A man catches a fish. A fish catches a man.

1. Viro kaptas fi$on. Fi$o kaptas viron.
2. Fi$on kaptas viro. Viron kaptas fi$o.
3. Viro fi$on kaptas. Fi$o viron kaptas
4. Fi$on viro kaptas. Viron fi$o kaptas.
5. Kaptas viro fi$on. Kaptas fi$o viron.
6. Kaptas fi$on viro. Kaptas viron fi$o.

===========================================================
In Esperanto, things have no gender (they are not male or
female, as in many other languages). There is only one word for
“THE”, no matter if the nour is singular or plural, sublect or
object. Therefore:

La birdoj kaptas la insektojn.
La birdo kaptis la insekton.

There are 27 letters in Esperanto and each Esperanto letter
has only one sound, always. Here is a guide to some of the
sounds. The stress is always on the next-to-last syllable of a
word.
—————————————————————–
ESPERANTO AT A GLANCE:
–The Alphabet (Brooks’ IBM-PC standardized 27-character set)

A B C & D E F G [ H I J ] K L M N O P R S $ T U # V Z
a b c › d e f g h i j ћ k l m n o p r s $ t u – v z

Every letter has exactly one sound and is always pronounced.
Accent is always on the next-to-last syllable. All are
pronounces as in English except:

A as in “father” I as in “machine”
C as “ts” in “bits” J as “y” in “yes”
& as “ch” in “church” ] as “s” in “measure”
E as in “get” O as in “mote”
G as in “get” S as in “said”
[ as “j” in “jet” $ as “sh” in “shed”
H as in “hat” U as “oo” in “boot”
# as “w” in “water”
===========================================================
Here are some words in Esperanto. The apostrophe indicates an
incomplete word or ROOT.

NOUNS NOUNS VERB ROOTS

AMIKO (friend) KAFO (coffee) FAR’ (do, make)
FILO (son) KUKO (cake) FORGES’ (forget)
FRATO (brother) LAKTO (milk) HAV’ (have)
INSTRUISTO (teachr) PANO (bread) TRINK’ (drink)
KNABO (boy) SUKERO (sugar) VEND’ (sell)
PATRO (father) TEO (tea) VID’ (see)

===========================================================
To get a feel for the language, translate the following
sentences into Esperanto. Note: the word “a” does not exist in
Esperanto; the simple noun is enough. Also, a dash indicates
that two English words are translated by one Esperanto word.
Example: THE MEN SOLD CAKES.
La viroj vendis kukojn.

1. FATHER MAKES A CAKE.

2. THE BOY WILL-HAVE THE SUGAR.

3. THE SON FORGOT THE MILK.

4. THE BOYS DRINK TEA.

5. THE FRIEND SOLD THE BREAD.

6. THE TEACHER SEES A BOY.

7. THE SON HAS A FRIEND.

8. THE BROTHER MADE BREAD.

9. THE BOYS WILL-HAVE THE CAKE.

10. FATHER FORGOT THE SUGAR.

11. THE BOYS HAD FRIENDS.

12. THE SONS SAW THE BREAD.

13. THE BROTHERS SELL SUGAR.

14. THE TEACHER FORGETS THE BOY.

15. THE FRIEND WILL-DRINK MILD.

16. THE SONS ARE-MAKING CAKES.

17. FATHER WILL-SELL THE CAKE.

18. THE FRIEND HAD BREAD.

19. THE BOYS WILL-SEE THE TEACHERS.

20. THE TEACHERS DRINK COFFEE.

===========================================================
Don’t get scared off by this first meeting with Esperanto.
Remember, the language ability you used in the above exercises
would take months or even years to reach in secondary-school
French or Spanish. The international language, Esperanto, is
by-far the best natural language around which “intelligent
machines” can be based. It is grammar-coded with no exceptions
to its simple rules; it vastly limits the search-space when
computers attempt “semantic understanding” of text and would be
unsurpassed in real-time speech understanding systems.

0

The following is a good definition of AGORAPHOBIA and many of the
symptoms that Agoraphobics experience. This definition was taken
from a pamphlet distributed by The Freedom From Fear Foundation.

What is AGORAPHOBIA ?
———————
The word AGORAPHOBIA is derived from two Greek words: AGORA, meaning
a popular political assembly, which at one time took place in the
market place; and PHOBIA, meaning a fear or dread. Put together, the
two words can be interpreted literally as a fear of the market place.
In fact, Agoraphobia is a condition in which sufferers experience a
morbid fear of anything and everything outside of their own homes.

A panic attack ?
—————-
Yes. The panic attack is the most frightening experience that an
Agoraphobic can undergo. During such an attack, the anxiety escalates
to the point that the sufferer is actually incapacitated by it. It is
a moment of sheer terror during which he is sure that he is going to
die, go insane or at least become unconscious. He may experience any
of the following symptoms:

– sweaty hands – palpitating heart – dizziness
– tightness in chest – hot flushes – blurred vision
– nausea – diarrhoea – free floating sensation

Not all of these symptoms may be present in every panic attack and
others not listed here may be present, but one ingredient is present
in every attack – a feeling of sheer terror.

Does every Agoraphobic suffer panic attacks ?
———————————————
Not necessarily. In some cases the anxiety may be quite mild, but once
a panic attack has been experienced the Agoraphobic has a new fear – that
of another attack. This creates still further fear of the outside and the
Agoraphobic becomes more and more hestitant about leaving the house.

Are there other symptoms ?
————————–
Yes. In addition to the physical symptoms described, a number of emotional
symptoms may develop. These include:

– feelings of inadequacy – guilt – depression
– irrational fears which cannot be overcome
– lack of confidence in oneself
– uneasiness in relation to oneself and to others

What does this do to an Agoraphobic ?
————————————-
Because of the anxiety experienced whenever the Agoraphobic goes
outside, he/she tends to avoid situations requiring him/her to do so.
The Agoraphobic generally withdraws into thier home or other places of
security, leaving it only for the most essential of reasons, and only
then with great difficulty. In many cases, especially when panic
attacks have been experienced, the Agoraphobic becomes completely
housebound, relying on others for his/her very existance. Often the mere
thought of going outdside is enough to trigger the anxiety.

This can often lead to other complicated consequences. Frequently the
sufferer becomes convinced that he/she is going insane. If leaving the
home is unavoidable on a regular basis, as when a person has to work
for a living, a sufferer may take to alcohol ot other drugs for help,
creating additional problems. Agoraphobia places a severe strain on a
marriage, particularily where the partner is unable to understand the
feelings of the sufferer. Other consequences can be:

– loss of friends – hostility towards those one is dependant on
– isloation from family and friends

If this condition widespread ?
——————————
YES. Because of the nature of the condition, however, sufferers tend
to hide themselves away, afraid to tell other how they feel. Almost
typically the untreated Agoraphobic believes that he/she is the only
person to feel as he/she does. We now know that there are many thousands
of sufferers in Canada and other countries. It is estimated that in
the Toronto area alone, there are aprox. 300,000 sufferers. US estimates
are approx 20 MILLION sufferers. Many feel that the numbers are higher
since many may not be classified as having Agoraphobia when they are
treated for substance abuse. Many professionals in the field feel that
the tendency towards substance abuse is linked to Agoraphobia.

What can be done about it ?
—————————
The first step is to convince the sufferer that he/she is not alone,
that he/she is one of amny thousands of people in Canada suffering from
this condition. The next step is to show him/her that Agoraphobia is
treatable. Professional treatment is usually but results of treatment in
general, are good, and many thousands of people have been helped back
to normal living as a result of a proper treatment program.

Agoraphobics seeking treatment are advised to to first consult their
family doctor. Make a printout of this bulletin and show it to your
doctor, to the doctor better understand what the Agoraphobic feels.
Your doctor will the necessary referrals for you. Another bulletin will
outline where to seek treatment in the Toronto area.

The key is to remember that many suffer from Agoraphobia and that there
is treatment for this problem.

Note : this bulletin was put together by the staff at Canadian
Investor BBS (416) 897-6047 & 897-7065. Please feel free
to post this up as a bulletin on any BBS. We only ask that
you leave this note in your bulletin. The reason for that is
that Canadian Investor BBS has an area reserved for Agoraphobia
and panic & anxiety sufferers.

0

Start Your Own Travel Agency

Worldwide, over a trillion dollars are spent on
travel each year; over six billion in North America
alone.
Travel was the second largest employer in the U.S.
and Canada, supporting over 6 million jobs.
Travel represented 7% of the U.S. and Canadian
Gross National Product. 65% of U.S. and Canadian
residents took at least one trip over 100 miles.
Nearly 42,000 travel agencies averaged $22,500
each week in airline ticket sales. Agencies book an
additional 40% in tours, cruises, hotels, etc.,
therefore making the average travel agency volume
$1,500,000, according to the U.S. Department of
Commerce.
Net profits average 4% to 5%, making the potential
net profit in a travel agency $60,000 to $70,000.
The travel industry has been growing even during
the recent recession and is now experiencing
unprecedented growth worldwide.
You can start your own travel agency, which can be
operated from your home, for under $10,000, including
required training, operations manuals, reservations
software and access to the airlines reservations
computers, and initial supplies (stationery, posters,
brochures).
These services are provided as part of a package
by TPI Travel Services, who also provide a TPI photo ID
card for immediate free and reduced rate travel
benefits.
You also receive the right to use the TPI name and
its trademarks. This will make it much easier for you
to obtain high profit commercial accounts, as they
supply you with references of existing accounts
serviced by TPI.
The commissions are also higher than you would
receive as an independent travel agent, because TPI has
volume contracts with airlines, cruise lines, and other
suppliers and passes the increased commission on to its
agencies.
This is one of the easiest ways to get into the
travel agency business, and is a fraction of the cost
of doing it independently. If an investment of this
size is in your budget, you’ll want to look into this
opportunity, as starting a travel agency from scratch
can easily cost $25,000 to $50,000.
If you can’t afford an investment this large, you
might want to get one or more partners to share the
deal with you. Another successful strategy can be to
line up commitments from one or two large business
customers for their travel needs, and then use those
commitments to make the investment more interesting to
a partner.
For more information, write to Travel Business
Information Package, P. O. Box 1201, Skyland NC 28776.

0

African Words, Numerals, and Sentences
==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==

(Used by Former Slaves in Georgia and South Carolina in the 1890s)

Taken from John W. Blassingame,
“The Slave Community,”
(c) 1979, Oxford Community Press.,
Appendix II

Table I: African Words
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
.
alligator ngundo hoe sengo

baby mauna hog gooloo
_ .
back nema horse valo
_ _
banana biteba house dro; nzo; bindu
_ _
beads nzeembo knife mbala

bear nzow land nte; nsetu
_ .
beard njavo lie gange

belly vomo love zola
,
skin seat cando; conda man (young) tucka; mayuc’kala
_ _
bird noona man (white) feata
_
boat coombay man (colored) feta
_
boy muana tucka meat zimbezy

bread dimpa money nzeembo
.
butterbeans mongongo monkey cawah
_ _
butterfly lumpungo moon gonda

cat boomba; mboomba partridges goomba; kimbimbe
_ _ _
chickens susu peach ncepho
. . .
cities mbamba peanuts gooba; drangay
, .
cloth nlilly peas madaza; zangy
. _
clouds ma tute pipe torida
_
coon bungee pot canzo
. . .
corn massa; massango rabbit loomba

coconut lombo rain mvoola
.
cow gomby rock matade
.
dance zacccomma sense gangu
_ .
dead fuedy sheep mamamy
, , . _ _ .
deer paccasa; mibunga shoulder vambo
_ _
devil doky sky zulu
_
dirt ntoto snakes neoka
. .
doctor ganga spider sembe

dog boa squirrel gemo; conka

ear kootoo stars birtity
. __
eyes maso steel weer
. . _
fire bazo; tuvia sun tango; muany

fish golla sweet potatoes zeembala
, , .
fly pesse teeth mano
.
foot tamby tobacco soonga
. .
fox coomba water lango; maza
. .
give me kala watermelon malengy
, ,
gun cully whiskey malavo
_ _ .
hair suky; truky women canto

hand corko women old bauba

head ntu women (young) ndoomba
_______________________________________________________________________________

Table II: African Numerals
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_
1: corse 20: makamorly
.
2: corla 21: makamorly enwano
. _
3: kootatoo 22: makamorly ezoly
. .
4: kooya 23: makamorly etatoo
. .
5: kootano 24: makamorly eya’
. .
6: koosambano 25: makamorly etano
. .
7: tambwody 26: makamorly esambano
. . .
8: nana 27: makamorly ensambody
, . . .
9: evwa 28: makamorly enana
_ , .
10: koome 29: makamorly evwa
_ _ .
11: koome emorse 30: makomatatoo
_ _ . .
12: koome enzole 40: makomaya
_ . _ ,
13: koome entate 50: makomatano
_ _ . . .
14: koome eya’ 60: makomasambano
_ . .
15: koome entano 70: lusambody
_ . . .
16: koome ensambano 80: luovwa
_ . . .
17: koome ensambody 90: lunana
_ , . . . .
18: koome enana 100: kama
_ , .
19: koome evwa
_______________________________________________

Table III: Sentences Employing African Words
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________

Ukola? How do you do?

Quer quenda? Where are you going?
_
Pahnam bezy. Give me some meat.
_ . _.
Wenda twas mona kona keamvo. Carry me across the river.

Vo vonda ngondo. Kill that alligator.
_
Sheka. Shoot him.
.
Borkala. Call him.

Weeza. Come here.
. . .
Zola ana aku? Do you love your children?

Inga (or yinga). Yes.

Gogomby. No (or, Go away).
_ . . _
Yala kayala. He is very sick.
_ . . .
Wenda baka ganga. Go bring the doctor.
_
Fuedy. He is dead.
. . . . .
A canto ana yaku? How many wives have you?
_ _
Kutatu. Three.
_ _ _
Ungaya muana ngo? Have you seen any lions?
_
Noka kunoka. It is going to rain.
. . _
Wenda banga tevia. Go build a fire.
_ .
Muany yama. The sun is hot.
_ . _ . . _
Unga gwaku wona yaku ungayi? Are you living with your mother?
_ .
Yala Where pains you?
.
Ntu bwanga. My head aches.
.
Nzala. I am hungry.
. . _
Mano ganze. My tooth aches.
_ . _ _
Ruaka mbala. I cut him with a knife.

A kway tukiddy? How far away does he live?
_
Wuto Coonawany. I was born in Coonawany.
. . _
Mazo Mazema. He is blind.
_________________________________________________________________

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0

BOOKING AND AGENTS 101

This is an excerpt from the commentary booklet included in the
Entertainment Source Library Version 3.1 published by Cumberland
Music Group, Inc. Nashville TN. (Used by permission)
It was written by Greg Forest, editor of the “ESL”, and was compiled
for the Music Arts Forum by Mike Lawson.

There is a simple, one page “standard booking agreement” in the
Music Industry Library here in the Music Arts Forum. There is
nothing fancy about it, but it has been upheld in small claims courts.
If you need something a little more complex (stipulations about sound,
lighting, and deli trays, for example), add a rider sheet to the
contract listing what else you need to have covered under the agreement
and put “see attached rider” on line 9. Line 11 and one half of lines
11 and 12 can be deleted if the band is doing its own bookings.

You may notice that this short form doesn’t have clauses covering default
by war or acts of God. In my twenty-five years in the business, I have
yet to see an artist burned for his money by an act of war or God. It
is usually something a little less earth-shattering: i.e., a jerk club
owner who double-booked his room after finding a cheaper band and forgot
to inform you. The intent of this short contract example is clear.

In retaining an agent, the three questions that should be addressed are:

1. Do I really need an agent?
2. If so, for how long and how much?
3. What can this agent do for me that I can’t already do for myself?

There is a great deal that a well-connected agent can do in furthering the
career exposure (and earnings) of a performer. There is also a lot of damage
that can be done to a touring act after a string of 150 motel lounges in
the Southwest. Who are the agent’s other clients, and how do they appear
to be doing? Can you earn enough money to keep the agent on the phone
booking you or will you be the agent’s B or C team? The most prudent way
to approach an agent would be on a trial basis – say, six months or so.
If after this initial term, both parties are still satisfied, then a longer
agreement could be executed. You will have to use your own best judgement
in securing an agent.

0

CHOOSING AN ADVERTISING AGENCY
By Don Kobes
One of the most difficult decisions a business can make
is selecting a “business partner” the advertising
agency. A wrong choice can be expensive. It can set your
marketing program back to the stone age. A right choice
could propel you to field leadership. Here is a procedure
and some practical tips and basic criteria to help you choose
the “best” advertising agency for your needs and budget.
From start to finish of this exercise allow at least six to
eight weeks to run this program. Try to avoid any deadlines
that may compromise your decision making.

Philosophy
Agency people often speak of the client-agency relationship
as a “marriage”. The relationship, like marriage calls for
communication between partners, similar goals and no
surprises. Additionally, each partner must be concerned
about the needs, wishes and in this case the business
success of the other.

Successful marriage usually calls for mutual commitment.
Without mutual commitment, success is unlikely. This means
when you do find your “partner” you should be prepared to pay
professional rates for professional services. Be prepared to
negotiate a mutually beneficial client-agency contract.

AGENCY SELECTION -2-

One note of caution.
If you now have an advertising manager, be certain he or she
is directly involved in all steps of this process. Agencies
will work best with those who can influence their future. If
you don’t handle it this way, expect a problematic situation.

Getting Started
To find the right advertising agency for your company you
need to start with two important pieces of information: The
first is the size of your advertising budget. The second is
who wants the job? In other words, identify all possible
candidate agencies in your geographical region.

Keep It Confidential
Surveying available agencies is best done confidentially,
without revealing your hand. This is because agencies are in
the business of selling their services and they’re very good
at it. You need remain in control of this decision-making
process and not lose it to “personality games” of agency new
business representatives.

If, for example, you spoke of the need for an advertising
agency to a media representative on Monday, you’d be swamped
with phone calls and proposals by Friday. New business
people at agencies get paid for aggressive pursuit of leads.
Just what you want your own sales people to do. Many of
these solicitations would be premature possibly irrelevant
and time-wasting. Discretion is the better way to go.

AGENCY SELECTION -3-

Where do you look?
The phone book is helpful. It will provide a local listing,
but little else. Another source is identify those companies
in and out of your field doing advertising you feel is
effective. For example, look at the advertising in this
publication. Then, find out who’s doing this good work.

Another source for agency names is a professional directory.
A number of these exist, one is : “The Standard Directory Of
Advertising Agencies”, published by The National Register
Publishing Company, 5201 Old Orchard Road, Skokie, IL 60076.
You can write for more information or you may find this
directory in your local library.

The Standard Directory lists agencies both geographically and
alphabetically and provides you with the size of the agency,
names of the principals and a listing of current clients.
Once you have a fairly comprehensive list, you begin
narrowing down the candidates. All this can be done without
leaving your office or running up your phone bill.

A Big Fish In a Small Pond
Remember, the size of your budget is a key governing factor.
The size of your account must represent an important piece of
business to an agency in order for you to get the attention
you need to make the partnership successful. For example, if
your business is ranked fourth in a shop, phone calls will be
returned. If your business is ranked 400th in the shop–good
luck–you’ll need it.

AGENCY SELECTION -4-

Use this simple “size” approach to narrow your list to six
or eight agency candidates. Hopefully, this will include
some of the agencies whose work you noticed. Don’t be to
concerned with finding an agency who works in your field.
You can bring that experience to the table. Creativity will
come from fresh viewpoints, not stale ones. Agencies working
in your field, if they are available at all, may give you
advertising that looks and sounds like all the other work
being done in the field.

Assuming you have narrowed the list as much as you can, it’s
time to contact the candidates. The first contact should be

as brief as possible, with the object of collecting data
about the candidates. The objective is to get them to mail
you this information. With each call, pay attention to how
and how quickly your response is handled. This information,
when it is received will provide you with resources to narrow
your search further. Hopefully, to about three or four
candidates.

The next step is a round of mutual visits and discussions.
Tell the agencies what you’re looking for and learn from them
how they work and even how they would like to be paid.

Chances are, when you talk to these agencies you’ll be
dealing with a someone who graduated first in the class at
charm school. Don’t be swayed. You may never see this
person again.

AGENCY SELECTION -5-

Candidates you consider to be serious contenders, should be
asked present the account team that will be doing the day to
day work on your account. These are the people who represent
an agency’s abilities. Get to know them and get to know how
long they have been with the agency. A group of short-timers
may signal personnel changes and lots of re-training in your
future. An inconvenience worth avoiding.

During these “client-agency” meetings, look carefully at the
work they have done and find out, if you can, what it cost to
produce this work. These meetings and the many discussions
of advertising and advertising costs will let you narrow the
list, hopefully to two candidates. Now, pick up the phone
and speak to some of that agency’s clients for a broader
picture.

The final stage may be the awarding of test assignments. Try
to have the list narrowed to two when you reach this stage.
Give each agency a similar briefing and assignment. Remember
both agencies must be paid for their time, win or lose. Now
you get some assignments completed. You also get a preview
of their approach to your problems. Sometimes this is the
“tie-breaker”.

Disclaimer
This is not the whole story. It is a “schematic” that, if
followed, will enhance your ability to make the right
choices. Be certain the agency you select gets at least the
same commitment from you as you expect from them. Finally,
plan regular performance reviews to be certain all partners
continue to share the same objectives. Based on what you
have learned from your investigation and meetings you can now
make a decision. (Nobody promised you it would be easy.)

For more information on this or related subjects, you may
contact the author, a marketing and advertising consultant,
Donald Kobes, 23-1B Bloomingdale Drive, Hillsborough, NJ 08876
Telephone or fax: (201) 281-7445.

-30-

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0

2D 2-Dimensional
3D 3-Dimensional
3M Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing
4GL Fourth Generation Language
4H Head, Heart, Hands, Health
4WD Four whell Drive (see also FWD)
A Aftermath
AA Affirmative Action committee
AA Alcoholics Anonymous
AA Antiaircraft Artillery
AA Associate in Accounting
AA Automobile Association [England]
AAA American Automobile Association
AAAL American Academy of Arts and Letters
AAAS American Association for the Advancement of Science
AAII American Association of Individual Investors
AAMSI American Association for Medical Systems Informatics
AAP Affirmative Action Program
AARC Anglo-American Cataloging Rules
AARP American Association of Retired Persons
AB ABle seaman
ABA American Bar Association
ABA American Basketball Association
ABA American Booksellers Association
ABBR ABBReviation
ABC American Broadcasting Company
AC Alternating Current (ac, see also DC)
AC Ante Christum (before Christ)
AC Ante Cibum (before meals)
ACAA Agricultural Conservation and Adjustment Administration
ACAWS Advisory, Caution, And Warning System
ACBL American Contract Bridge League
ACC Argonne Code Center
ACCS Army Command and Control System
ACD Automatic Call Distributor [telephony]
ACE Advanced Computing Environments [Corporate name]
ACE Automatic Calibration and Equalization
ACHEFT Automated ClearingHouse Electronic Funds Transfer
ACK ACKnowledge
ACL Advanced Cmos Logic
ACM Association for Computing Machinery
ACS Advanced Communications System
ACSE Association Control Service Entity (ISO/CCITT layer 7)
ACTS Advanced Communications Technology Satellite
ACTS Automatic Coin Telephone Service
ACTS Automatic Coin Telephone Service [telephony]
ACU Alarm Control Unit
ACU Automatic Call Unit [telephony]
ACW Alternating Continuous Waves
AD After Date
A/D Analog to Digital converter (see ADC)
AD Anno Domini (in the year of our Lord)
AD Application Development
Ad Astra To the stars [Latin; Space]
ADAP Alzheimer’s disease-associated protein
ADAP American Discount Auto Parts [Corporate name]
ADB A DeBugger
ADB Apple Desktop Bus
ADC Analog to Digital Converter
ADCI Automatic Display Call Indicator
AD&D Advanced Dungeons & Dragons
ADF Automatic Direction Finder
ADM ADMiral
ADP Adenosine Di-Phosphate
ADP Administrative Data Processing
ADP Advanced Data Processing
ADPCM Pulse Code Modulation with Adaptive Quantization
ADS Application Development System
ADSR Attack Decay Sustain Release
ADT Abstract Data Type
ADT Atlantic Daylight Time
AE Application Execution
AEA American Electronics Association
AEC Atomic Energy Commission
AEF American Expeditionary Force (see BEF)
AEGIS Advanced Electronic Guidance and Instrumentation System
AF Adventures in Fantasy
AF Air Force
AF Audio Frequency
AFADS Automatic Force Adjustment Data System
AFATDS Advanced Field Artillery Tactical Data System
AFB Air Force Base
AFC American Football Conference
AFC Automatic Flight Control
AFC Automatic Frequency Control
AFCAC Air Force Computer Acquisition Center
AFCC Air Force Communications Command
AFGE American Federation of Government Employees
AFIPS American Federation of Information Processing Societies
AFL American Federation of Labor
AFL American Football League
AFLCIO American Federation of Labor and Congress of Industrial Organizations
AFNOR Association Francaise de NORmalization
AFP Appletalk Filing Protocol
AFS Andrew File System
AFSC Air Force Systems Command
AFSCME American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees
AFTRA American Federation of Television and Radio Artists
AG Adjutant General
AG Arcade Game
AG Attorney General
AGCT Army General Classification Test
AHL American Hockey League
AHQ Air HeadQuarters
AI Artificial Intelligence
AIAA American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics
AIC Automatic Intercept Center
AID Agency for International Development
AIDDE Ames’ Interactive Dynamic Display Editor
AIDS Acquired ImmunoDeficiency Syndrom
AIDS Acquired ImmunoDeficiency Syndrome
AIOD Automatic Identification Outward Dialing
AIS Automatic Intercept System
AIX Advanced Interactive eXecutive (IBM’s name for UNIX)
AK Alaska
AKA Also Known As
AL Alabama
AL American League (baseball)
ALA American Library Association
ALA Automobile Legal Association
ALBM Air-to-Land Ballistic Missile
ALC Automatic Load Control
ALGOL ALGOrithmic Language
ALIT Automatic Line Insulation Testing [telephony]
ALS Advanced Launch System [Space]
ALU Arithmetic Logic Unit
A&M Agricultural and Mechanical
AM Amplitude Modulation
AM Ante Meridiem (before noon)
AMA American Medical Association
AMA Automatic Message Accounting
AMA Automatic Message Accounting [telephony]
AMARC Automatic Message Accounting Recording Center
AMBA Association of Master of Business Administration
AMC Albany Medical College
AMD Advanced Micro Devices [Corporate name]
AMEX AMerican EXpress [Corporate name]
AMI Alternate Mark Inversion (see also NRZ, NRZI, B8ZS)
AMORC Ancient Mystic Order Rosae Crucis
AMP Adenosine MonoPhosphate
AMPAS Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences
AMPAS Acedemy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences
AMRAAM Advanced Medium Range Air-To-Air Missile
AMROC American Rocket Company [Space]
AMSAT radio AMateur SATellite corp.
AMU Atomic Mass Unit
AMVET AMerican VETeran
ANA American Nurses Association
ANAC Automatic Number Announcemnt Circuit [telephony]
ANC All Number Calling [telephony]
ANC Army Nurse Corps
ANDF Architecture-Neural Distribution Format
ANF Automatic Number Forwarding [telephony]
ANG Air National Guard
ANI Automatic Number Identification (see also: CLID) [telephony]
ANL Argonne National Laboratory
ANOVA ANalysis Of VAriance
ANPA American Newspaper Publishers Association
ANSI American National Standards Institute
ANZUS Australia, New Zealand, United States
AO Account Of
AOA Abort Once Around [NASA, Shuttle]
AOL Absent Over Leave (see AWOL)
AOS Academic Operating System
AOS Alternate Operator Service [telephony]
A/P Accounts Payable
AP Additional Premium
AP All Points
AP Associated Press [Corporate name]
APA All Points Addressable
APA American Psychological Association
APB All Points Bulletin
APDA Apple Programmers and Developers Association
API Application Programming Interface
APICS American Production and Inventory Control Society
ApJ Astrophysical Journal
APO Alpha Pi (?) Omega, service fraternity
APO Army Post Office
APP Applications Portability Profile
APPC Advanced Peer-to-Peer Communications
APR Annual Percentage Rate (as in loan interest)
APSE Ada Programming Support Environment
APU Auxiliary Power Unit [space]
AQ Accumulator-Quotient register
A/R Accounts Receivable
AR Address Register
AR Arkansas
ARC AIDS-related complex
ARC American Red Cross
ARCNET Attached Resource Computer local area NETwork
ARO After Receipt of Order
ARP Address Resolution Protocol
ARPA Advanced Research Projects Agency (of the DoD, see DARPA)
ARPANET ARPA (q.v.) NETwork
ARRL Amateur Radio Relay League
ARV American Revised Version
AS Anglo-Saxon
ASA Acetyl Salicylic Acid
ASAP As Soon As Possible
ASC Accredited Standards Committee
ASCAP American Society of Composers, Authors, and Publishers
ASCC Automatic Sequence-Controlled Calculator
ASCII American Standard Code for Information Interchange
ASDIC Anti-Submarine Detection Investigation Committee (British for sonar)
ASDSP Application-Specific Digital Signal Processor
ASG Automated Sciences Group
ASHRAE Amer. Soc. of Heating, Refrigerating and Air-cond. Engineers, inc.
ASIC Application Specific Integrated Circuit
ASME American Society of Mechanical Engineers
ASN Abstract Syntax Notation One (ISO/CCITT ASN.1)
ASP Aggregated Switch Procurement
ASSR Autonomous Soviet Socialist Republic
AST Atlantic Standard Time
ASV American Standard Version
AT Atlantic Time
ATA Automatic Trouble Analysis
ATACC Advanced Tactical Air Command Central
ATB Advanced Technology Bomber (stealth bomber)
ATC Air Traffic Control
ATF Advanced Technology Fighter
ATIS Atherton Tools Interface Specification
ATM Asynchronous Transfer Mode
ATM Automatic Teller Machine
ATO Abort To Orbit [NASA, Shuttle]
ATOMS AT&t Optimized Materials Simulator
ATP Adenosine TriPhosphate
ATPCO Airline Tariff Publishing COmpany
AT&T American Telephone & Telegraph
ATT American Telephone & Telegraph (normally written AT&T when seperate)
ATTIS American Telephone and Telegraph Information Systems
ATTIS American Telephone and Telegraph Information Systems [Division of AT&T?]
ATV All Terrain Vehicle
AU Astronomical Unit (93,000,000 miles) [Space]
AUI Attachment Universal Interface
AUS Army of the United States
AUTODIN AUTOmatic DIgital Network
AUTOVON AUTOmatic VOice Network
AV AudioVisual
AVLIS Atomic Vapor Laser Isotope Separation
AWACS Airborne Warnings And Control Systems
AWEA American Wind Energy Association
AWK al Aho, peter Weinberger, brian Kernighan (pattern scanning language)
AWOL Absent WithOut Leave (also Absent Without Official Leave) (see AOL)
AW&ST Aviation Week and Space Technology (a.k.a. AvLeak) [space]
AXAF Advanced X-ray Astrophysics Facility [Space]
AZ Arizona
B Book
B8ZS Binary 8 Zero Substitution (see also NRZ, NRZI, AMI)
BA Bachelor of Arts
BACH Business Alliance for Commerce in Hemp
BAFO Best And Final Offer
BARRNet Bay Area Regional Research Network (SF Bay Area)
BASIC Beginner’s All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code
BB Bases on Balls
BB Best of Breed
BB Bunnies and Burrows
BBA Bachelor of Business Administration
BBB Better Business Bureau
BBC British Broadcasting Corporation
BBL Barrel
BBN Bolt, Beranek, and Newman, Inc. [Corporate name]
BC Battlecars
BC Before Christ
BC British Columbia
BC/BS Blue Cross/Blue Shield
BCD Bad Conduct Discharge
BCD Binary Coded Decimal
BCDIC Binary Coded Decimal Interchange Code
BCE Before the Common Era (substitute for BC)
BCNU Be Seeing You [Net Jargon]
BCP Byte Controlled Protocols
BCPL Basic Combined Programming Language
BCS Bachelor of Commercial Science
BCS Binary Compatibility Standard
BCS Boston Computer Society
BCS British Computer Society
BD Bachelor of Divinity
BD Bank Draft
BD Bills Discounted
BD&D Basic Dungeons & Dragons
BDF Binary Distribution Format
BDT Billing Data Transmitter
BE Bill of Exchange
BEF British Expeditionary Force (see AEF)
BELCORE BELL COmmunications REsearch
BEM Bug Eyed Monster
BENELUX BElgium, NEtherlands, and LUXembourg
BER Bit Error Rate
BERT Bit Error Rate Test
BEST Borland Enhanced Support and Training
BF Brought Forward
BFA Bachelor of Fine Arts
BH Boot Hill
BHP Brake HorsePower
BICS Building Industry Consulting Services [telephony]
BID Bis In Die (twice a day)
BIOS Basic Input Output System
BIS Business Information System
BISDN Broadband ISDN (q.v.) [telephony]
BiSync Binary Synchronous Communications (BSC is preferred) [IBM]
Bit BInary digiT
BITNET Because It’s Time Network
BLAST BLocked ASynchronous Transmission
BLERT BLock Error Rate Test
BLF Busy Lamp Field [telephony]
BLT Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato (sandwich)
BLT BLock Transfer
BM Basal Metabolism
BM Bowel Movement
BMA Bank Marketing Association
BMEWS Ballistic Missile Early Warning
BMO Ballistic Missile Office
BMOC Big Man On Campus
BMR Basal Metabolism Rate
BNC Bayonet Neill Concelman (connector) [electronics] (see also TNC)
BNF Bachus-Naur Form
BO Body Odor
BO Branch Office
BO Buyer’s Option
BOC Bell Operating Company
BOD Board Of Directors
BOF Birds Of a Feather
BOM Bill Of Materials
BOOTP Bootstrap Protocol [Internet]
BOQ Bachelor Officers’ Quarters
BOS Business Office Supervisor
BOSIX Biin Open System Interface eXtension
BP Blood Pressure
BP British Petroleum
BP British Pharmacopoeia
BPI Bits Per Inch
BPOE Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks
BPS Bits Per Second
BR Bills Receivable
BR British Rail
BRI Basic Rate Interface (ISDN) [telephony]
BRIEF Basic Reconfigurable Interactive Editing Facility
BRL army Ballistic Research Laboratory
BRS Bibliographic Retrieval Service
BS Bachelor of Science
BS Bill of Sale
BSA Birmingham Small Arms
BSA Boy Scouts of America
BSc Bachelor of SCience
BSC Binary Synchronous Communications (also sometimes BiSync) [IBM]
BSD Berkeley Software Distribution
BSN Bachelor of Science in Nursing
BSS Block Started by Symbol
BSTJ Bell System Technical Journal
BTAM Basic Telecommunications Access Method [IBM]
BThU British Thermal Unit (BTU {q.v.} is preferred)
BTL Bell Telephone Laboratories
BTO Bachman Turner Overdrive
BTU British Thermal Unit
BTW By The Way [net jargon]
BUF B-52 bomber (“Big Ugly Fellow”) [USAF]
BV Blessed Virgin
BWI Baltimore-Washington International (airport)
BWI British West Indies
BX Base eXchange (see also PX)
C programming language (successor to B, which was based on BCPL)
CA California
CA Chartered Accountant
CA Chief Accountant
CA Chronological Age
CA Collision Avoidance (as in CSMA/CA (q.v.))
CAB Civil Aeronautics Board
CACM Communications of the Association for Computing Machinery
CAD Computer Aided Design (sometimes seen as CAD/CAM)
CAD Computer Aided Dispatching
CAE Common Applications Environment
CAE Computer Aided Engineering
CAI Computer Aided Instruction
CAIS Common Apse Interface Specification
CALS Computer-aided Acquisition and Logistics Support
CAM Computer Aided Management
CAM Computer Aided Manufacturing (sometimes seen as CAD/CAM)
CAM Content Addressable Memory
CAMA Centralized Automatic Message Accounting [telephony]
CAMP Campaign Against Marijuana Planting
CAP Civil Air Patrol
CAP Columbia Appletalk Package
CAR Contents of the Address part of the Register (LISP)
CARE Committee on American Relief in Europe
CARP California Air Resources Board
CASE Computer Aided Software Engineering
CASSIS Classification and Search Support Information System
CAT Computer-Aided Tomography
CATIS Common Applications and Tools Integration Services
CATV Common Antenna TeleVision
CATV Community Antenna TeleVision
CAVU Ceiling And Visibility Unlimited
CB Citizens Band radio
CBC Canadian Broadcasting Corporation
CBD Cash Before Delivery
CBD Commerce Business Daily
CBEMA Computer & Business Equipment Manufacturers Association
CBR Chemical, Biological, Radiological warfare
CBS Columbia Broadcasting System
CBW Chemical and Biological Warfare
CC Carbon Copy
CCA Computer Corporation of America [Corporate name]
CCC Canadian Committee on Cataloging
CCC Civil(ian) Conservation Corps
CCC Command, Control, and Communications (sometimes C^3)
CCC Concourse Computer Center [MIT]
CCCCM CCC CounterMeasures (sometimes C^3CM)
CCCI Command, Control, Communications, and Intelligence
CCD Charge Coupled Device (see CID)
CCI Computer Carrier Interrupt
CCI Computer Consoles, Incorporated
CCIP Continuously Computed Impact Point
CCIRN Coordinating Committee for Intercontinental Research Networking
CCIS Common Channel Interoffice Signaling [telephony]
CCITT Comite’ Consultatif International Telegraphique et Telephonique
CCITT Consultative Committee on International Telephony and Telegraphy
CCITT International Telegraph and Telephone Consultative Committee
CCR Commitment, Concurrency, and Recovery
CCR Creedence Clearwater Revival
CCRP Continuously Computed Release Point
CCS7 Common Channel Signalling (version #7) [telephony, may be AT&T specific]
CCSA Common Control Switching Arrangement [telephony]
CCTA Central Computer and Telecommunications Agency
CCTV Closed Circuit TeleVision
CD Carrier Detect (properly DCD (q.v.))
CD Certificate of Deposit
CD Civil Defense
CD Collision Detection (as in CSMA/CD (q.v.))
CD Compact Disk
CDA Call Data Accumulator
CDA Compound Documents Architecture
CDC Centers for Disease Control
CDC Control Data Corporation, Inc. [Corporate name]
CDEV Control panel DEVice
CDIAC Carbon Dioxide Information Analysis Center
CDO Community Dial Office
CDR CommanDeR
CDR Contents of the Decrement part of the Register (LISP)
CD-ROM Compact Disk Read Only Memory
CDSF Commercially Developed Space Facility
CDT Central Daylight Time
CDU Control Display Unit
CE Chemical Engineer
CE Civil Engineer
CE Common Era (substitute for AD)
CE Corps of Engineers
CE Customer Engineer
CEA Council of Economic Advisors
CEA County Education Authority
CEC Commission of the European Communities
CED Committee for Economic Development
CELSS Controlled Ecological Life Support System [Space]
CENS Centre d’Etudes Nucleaires de Seclay
CENTO CENtral Treaty Organization
CEO Chief Executive Officer
CERFnet California Education and Research Federation Network
CERN European Organization for Nuclear Research
CERN organisation (formerly Conseil) Europeenne pour la Recherche Nucleaires
CERT Computer Emergency Response Team
CEVI Common Equipment Voltage Indicator
CF Carry Forward
CF Coin First (payphone) [telephony]
CF Cystic Fibrosis [disease]
CFC Chloro-FluoroCarbon [chemical]
CFC Combined Federal Campaign
CFD Computational Fluid Dynamics
CFI Cost, Freight, and Insurance
CFL Canadian Football League
CFO Chief Financial Officer
CG Coast Guard
CG Commanding General
CGA Color Graphics Adapter
CGCT Compagnie Generale de Constructions Telephoniques
CG&E Cincinnati Gas & Electric
CGE Compagnie Generale d’Electricite
CH Cardboard Heroes
CH ClearingHouse
CH CourtHouse
CH Customs House
CHA Champions
CHAP CHAnnel Processor
CHI Chill: Adventures into the Unknown
CHOTS Corporate Headquarters Office Technology System
CHP California Highway Patrol
CI Cubic Inches
CIA Central Intelligence Agency [US Government]
CIC Carrier Identification Codes [telephony] (10XXX codes)
CIC Committee on Institutional Cooperation
CIC Coordination and Information Center [CSNet]
CICA Competition in Contracting Act
CICS Customer Information Control System [IBM]
CID Caller ID [telephony] (see also: CLID, ANI)
CID Central Institute for the Deaf
CID Charge Injection Device (see CCD)
CID Computer Integrated Design
CIDIN Common Icao Data Interchange Network
CIM Computer Integrated Manufacturing
CIO Chief Information Officer
CISC Complex Instruction Set Computer
Cislunar The space between the Earth and the Moon
CIT California Institute of Technology
CIT Case Institute of Technology (part of CWRU, Cleveland, OH)
CIT Circumstellar Imaging Telescope [Space]
CLASP Comprehensive Logistics Automated Support Program
CLASS Custom Local Area Signaling Service [telephony]
CLI Command Line Interpreter
CLID Calling Line ID [telephony] (see also: CID, ANI)
CLR Combined Line and Recording
CLRC Circuit Layout Record Card
CLU Chartered Life Underwriter
CLUT Color LookUp Table
CM Congregation of the Mission
CMC Communication Machinery Corp.
CMD Centralized Message Distribution
CMIP Common Management Information Protocol
CMIS Common Management Information Services
CML Current Model Logic
CMMU Cache/Memory Management Unit
CMOS Complementary Metal Oxide Semiconductor (see MOS)
CMOT Common Management Information Services and Protocol Over TCP/IP
CMRR Common Mode Rejection Ratio
CMS Circuit Maintenance System
CMSgt Chief Master Sergeant
CMU Carnegie-Mellon University
CMYK Cyan, Magenta, Yellow, blacK
CN Canadian National (railroad) [Corporate name]
CN/A Customer Name / Address [telephony]
CNI Common Network Interface [telephony, AT&T department]
CNN Cable News Network
CNO Chief of Naval Operations
CNR Canadian National Railways
CNR Carrier to Noise Ratio
CNRI Corporation for National Research Initiatives
CNS Central Nervous System
CO Cash Order
CO Central Office [telephony]
CO Colorado
CO Commanding Officer
CO Conscientious Objector
C/O in Care Of
COB Close Of Business
COBOL COmmon Business Oriented Language
COC Call of Cthulhu
COCOT Customer Owned, Coin Operated Telephone [telephony]
COD Collect On Delivery; Cash On Delivery
CODEC COder-DECoder
COER Central Office Equipment Report
COLA Cost-Of-Living Allowance
COM Computer Output [on] Microfiche
COM Computer Output [on] Microfilm
COMAS Central Office Maintenance and Administration System
COMM Communications
COMPACT COMmercial Product ACquisition Team
COMSAT Communications Satellite [Space]
CONS Connection-Oriented Networking Session
CONS CONStruct (LISP)
CORE COntrolled Requirement Expression
CORN COmputer Resource Nucleus
COS Corporation for Open Systems
COSMIC COmmon System Main InterConnecting frame
COSMIC COmputer Software Management and Information Center
COSMOS COmputer System for Mainframe OperationS
CP Canadian Pacific
CP Chemically Pure
CP Command Post
CP Command Processor
CP CoPy
CP the Canadian Press
CPA Certified Public Accountant
CPE Customer Premises Equipment
CPE Customer Provided Equipment
CPFF Cost Plus Fixed Fee
CPI Characters Per Inch
CPI Common Programming Interface
CPL Combined Programming Language
CPM Control Program for Microcomputers (sometimes CP/M)
CPM Control Program Monitor (sometimes CP/M)
CPO Chief Petty Officer
CPO Chief Post Office
CPR Canadian Pacific Railway
CPS Characters Per Second
CPSR Computer Professionals for Social Responsibility
CPT CaPTain
CPU Central Processing Unit
CPW Certified Public Weigher
CQ Change of Quarters
CR Carriage Return (ASCII 15 octal)
CRAF Comet Rendezvous/Asteroid Flyby [Space]
CRAM Card Random Access Memory
CRC Chemical Rubber Company
CRC Cyclic Redundancy Check
CREG Concentrated Range Extension with Gain
CREN The Corporation for Research and Educational Networking (merge of BITNET and CSNet)
CRRES Combined Release and Radiation Effects Satellite [NASA]
CRT Cathode Ray Tube (also generic reference to a terminal)
CRTC Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission
C&S Chivalry & Sorcery
CS Civil Servant
CS Computer Science; Computing Science
CS County Seat
CSA Confederate States of America
CSAB Computing Sciences Accreditation Board
CSACS Centralized Status, Alarm and Control System
CSC Computer Sciences Corporation
CSDC Circuit Switched Digital Capability
CSF Critical Success Factor
CSI Commercial Systems Integration
CSIS Canadian Security and Intelligence Service
CSL Coin Supervising Link
CSM Command and Service Module (Apollo spacecraft) [space]
CSM Command Sergeant Major
CSMA Carrier Sense Multiple Access
CSMA/CA Carrier Sense Multiple Access with Collision Avoidance
CSMA/CD Carrier Sense Multiple Access with Collision Detection
CSNET Computer + Science Network (merged with BITNET to make CREN)
CSO Central Services Organization
CSOC Consolidated Space Operations Center (at Colorado Springs)
CSP Control Switching Point
CSR Control and Status Register
CSR Customer Service Representative [telephony]
CSRG Computer Systems Research Group
CSRS civil Service Retirement System
CSS Customer Switching System
CST Central Standard Time
CSU Channel Service Unit
CT Central Time
CT Connecticut
CTC Canadian Transport Commission
CTC Centralized Traffic Control [railroad]
CTD Computing and Telecommunications Division
CTIO Cerro Tololo Inter-american Observatory
CTNE Compania Telefonica Nacional de Espana
CTS Compatible Timesharing System
CTV Canadian TeleVision network
CU Close-Up
CUA Common User Access
CUL See You Later [net jargon]
CV Curriculum Vitae
CW Car Wars
CW Chemical Warfare
CW Child Welfare
CW Churchwarden
CW Churdwarden
CW Continuous Wave
CWO Cash With Order
CWO Chief Warrant Officer
CWRU Case Western Reserve University
CXI Common X-windows Interface
CY Calendar Year
CYO Catholic Youth Organization
CZ Canal Zone
D Depth
DA Days after Acceptance
DA Department of Agriculture
DA Deposit Account
D/A Digital to Analog converter
DA Directory Assistance (/C = computerized, /M = Microfilm)
DA District Attorney
DA Don’t Answer
DA Don’t Answer [used in telephony, may be more general]
DAC Digital to Analog Converter
DACCS Digital Access Cross Connect System
DACCS Digital Access Cross Connect System [telephony] (suspect, see below)
DACS Digital Access Cross-connect System [telephony]
DAD Draft ADdendum
DAL Dedicated Access Line [telephony]
DAP Division Advisory Panel [of NSF (q.v.) DNCRI (q.v.)]
DAR Daughters of the American Revolution
DARPA Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency
DARPA Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (of the DoD, see also ARPA)
DASD Direct Access Storage Device
DAT Digital Audio Tape
DATA Defense Air Transport Administration
DAV Disabled American Veterans
DB DataBase
db decibel(s)
DBF DBase Format
DBME DataBase Managment Environment
dbms DataBase Management System (rdbms for Relational …)
DBRAD Data Base Relational Application Directory
DC Direct Current (dc, see also AC)
DC District of Columbia
DCA Defense Communications Agency
DCA Distributed Communication Architecture
DCA Document Content Architecture
DCC Descriptive Cataloging Committee
DCCO Defense Commercial Communications Office
DCD Data Carrier Detect (sometimes CD (q.v.))
DCE Data Communication Equipment
DCL Digital Command Language
DCP Distributed Communications Processor
DCTS Dimension Custom Telephone Service
DD Daredevils
DD Data Dictionary
DD Days after Date
DD Demand Draft
DD Dishonorable Discharge
DD Disk Drive
DD Doctor of Divinity
D&D Dungeons & Dragons
DDC Digital Data Converter
DDD Direct Distance Dial(ing)
DDD Direct Distance Dialing [Telephony; principally US, elsewhere STD]
DDL Document Description Language
DDN Defense Data Network
DDP Distributed Data Processing
DDS Dataphone Digital Service [AT&T]
DDS Digital Data Service
DDS Direct Digital Service
DDS Doctor of Dental Science
DDS Doctor of Dental Surgery
DE Delaware
DEA Drug Enforcement Agency
DEAR Department of Energy Acquisition Regulation
DEC Digital Equipment Corporation
DEC Digital Equipment Corporation [Corporate name]
DES Data Encryption Standard
DES Data Encryption Standard [NIST]
DEW Distant Early Warning (as in DEW Line)
DF Damage Free
D/F Direction Finding
DFC Distinguished Flying Cross
DFD Data Flow Diagram
DFE Data Flow Editor
DFM Distinguished Flying Medal
DFS Depth-First Search
DFW Dallas-Ft.Worth (regional airport)
DG Data General [Corporate name]
DG Dei Gratia (by the grace of God)
DG Director General
DGSC Defense General Supply Center
DHHS Department of Health and Human Services
DHSS british Department of Health and Social Security
DHSS Department of Health and Social Security (British)
DIA Document Interchange Architecture
DIAD (magnetic) Drum Information Assembler / Dispatcher
DIAL Direct Information Access Line
DIAS Defense Automatic Integrated System
DID Direct Inward Dialing
DID Direct Inward Dialing [telephony]
DIF Document Interchange Format
DIN Deutsches Institut fur Normung
DIRE Dire Is Really Emacs
DIS Draft International Standard [ISO]
DISOSS Distributed Office Support System [IBM]
DIY Do It Yourself
DJ Disc Jockey
DLA Defense Logistics Agency
DLI Data Link Interface(?)
DLL Data Link Layer [ISO OSI]
DLL Dial Long Line equipment
DLO Dead Letter Office
DM Dungeon Master
DMA Direct Memory Access
DMD Doctor of Dental Medicine
DME Distance Measuring Equipment
DMF Probably part of an X.400 address in Europe
DMOS Diffusion Metal Oxide Semiconductor (see MOS)
DMOS Diffussion Metal Oxide Semiconductor (see MOS)
DMV Department of Motor Vehicles
DMV Department of Motor Vehicles (Calif)
DMZ DeMilitarized Zone
DNA DeoxyriboNucleic Acid
DNA Digital Network Architecture
DNA Digital Networking Architecture [DEC]
DNCRI [NSF (q.v.)] Division of Networking and Communications Research and Infrastructure
DNHR Dynamic NonHierarchical Routing
DNIC Data Network Identification Code
DNIC Data Network Identification Code [telephony]
DNIS Dialed Number Identification Service (see also DID) [telephony]
DNL Director of Naval Laboratories
DNR Dialed Number Recorder
DNR Dialed Number Recorder [telephony]
DNS Domain Name System
DOA Dead On Arrival
DOB Date Of Birth
DOC Dynamic Overload Control
DOD Department Of Defense [U.S. Government] (sometimes DoD)
DOE Department of Energy [U.S. Government]
DOMAIN Distributed Operating Multi Access Interactive Network (Apollo)
DOS Disk Operating System
DOT Department Of Transportation
DOT Department Of Transportation [U.S. Government]
DOT&E Director, Operational Test and Evaluation
DOV Data Over Voice [telephony]
DP Data Processing
DP Dial Pulse
DP Dial Pulse [telephony]
DP Displaced Persons (expelled from native land)
DP Display Postscript
DP Double Play
DP Draft Proposal
DPA Delegation of Procurement Authority
DPANS Draft Proposed American National Standard
DPI Dots Per Inch
DPS Display PostScript
DQ Dairy Queen
DQ Dragon Quest
DQDB Distributed Queue Dual Bus (IEEE 802.6) [telephony, networking]
DQL Database Query Language
DR Dead Reckoning
DR Dining Room
DRAM Dynamic Random Access Memory (as opposed to static RAM)
DRD Data Reading Device
DRE Directional Reservation Equipment
DRG Democratic Republic of Germany (East Germany)
DRI Defense Research Internet
DRI Digital Research, Incorporated
DRI Digital Research, Incorporated [Corporate name]
DS Double-Sided
DSA Dial System Assistance
DSE Data Structure Editor
DSEE Domain Software Engineering Environment
DSM Distinguished Service Medal
DSO Distinguished Service Order
DSP Decessit Sine Prole (died without issue)
DSP Digital Signal Processing
DSRI Digital Standard Relational Interface
DSS Decision Support System
DSS Direct Station Selection
DSS Direct Station Selection [telephony]
DST Daylight Saving Time
DSTN Double SuperTwisted Nematic
DSU Digital Service Unit
DT Delirium Tremens
DTE Data Terminal Equipment
DTF Dial Tone First payphone
DTF Dial Tone First payphone [telephony]
DTMF Dial Tone Multi Frequency
DTMF Dial Tone Multi Frequency [telephony]
DTP DeskTop Publishing
DTR Data Terminal Ready
DUI Driving Under the Influence
DUT Device Under Test
DV Deo Vo lente (God willing)
DVM Digital Volt Meter
DVM Doctor of Veterinary Medicine
DWAPS Defense Warehousing Automated Processing System
DWI Driving While Intoxicated
DWIM Do What I Mean
DX Distance (as in long distance radio communication)
DXT Data eXtractT facility
E East
E Espionage
EADASS Engineering and Administrative Data AcquiSition System
EAN Certainly part of an X.400 Address in Europe
EARN European Academic Research Network
EAS Extended Area Service (or Engineering Admin. System)
EBCDIC Extended Binary Coded Decimal Interchange Code
EC Exchange Carrier [telephony]
ECAFE Economic Commission for Africa and the Far East
ECASS Electronically Controlled Automatic Switching System
ECASS Export Control Automated Support System
ECC Error Correction Code
ECC Error Correction Code (corrects error in memory or transmission)
ECCM Electronic Counter-CounterMeasures
ECDO Electronic Community Dial Office
ECG ElectroCardioGram
ECL Emitter Coupled Logic (see also TTL)
ECLSS Environmental Control and Life Support System [Space]
ECM Electronic Counter Measure
ECM European Common Market
ECMA European Computer Manufacturers Association
ECO Ecological
ECO Electronic Central Office
ECO Engineering Change Order
ECPA Electronic Communications Privacy Act [US law]
ECT ElectroConvulsive Therapy
ECV Electric Cargo Vehicle [NASA OEXP]
ED&D Expert Dungeons & Dragons
EDGAR Electronic Data Gathering, Analysis, and Retrieval
EDI Electronic Data Interchange
EDIF Electronic Design Interchange Format
EDO Extended Duration Orbiter [Space]
EDP Electronic Data Processing
EDS Electronic Data Systems
EDT Eastern Daylight Time
EDTA Ethylene Diamine Tetraacetic Acid
EDTCC Electronic Data Transmission Communications Central
EE Electrical Engineer
EE Electrical or Electronics Engineer
EEC European Economic Community
EEC European Economic Comunity
EEG ElectroEncephaloGram
EEL Epsilon Extension Language
E&EO Errors and Omissions Excepted
EEPROM Electrically Erasable Programmable Read Only Memory
e.g. ??? (Latin(?): for example)
EGA Enhanced Graphics Adapter
EGP Exterior Gateway Protocol [Internet]
EHF Extremely High Frequency (30-300GHz)
EIA Electronic Industries Association
EIA Electronic Industry Association
EINE EINE Is Not Emacs
EISA Extended Industry-Standard Architecture
EISS European Intelligence Support System
EKG ElectroKardioGramm (see ECG)
EL ElectroLuminescent (as in display)
ELF Extremely Low Frequency
ELO Electric Light Orchestra
ELP Emerson, Lake and Palmer (or Powell)
ELV Expendable Launch Vehicle [Space]
E&M “Ear and Mouth”; receive and transmit leads of a signalling system
EM Enlisted Man (see EW)
EMA Electronic Mail Association
EMACS Editor MACroS
EMACS Eight Megabytes And Constantly Swapping
E-MAIL Electronic MAIL
EMF ElectroMotive Force
EMF ElectroMotive Force (voltage)
EMI ElectroMagnetic Interference
EMP Electromagnetic Pulse
EMPRESS EnvironMental Pulse Radiation Environment Simulator for Ships
EMR ElectroMagetic Response
EMR ElectroMagnetic Response
EMS Electronic Message System
EMS Extended Memory Specification
EMT Emergency Medical Technician
EMU ElectroMagnetic Unit
EMU Extravehicular Mobility Unit [Space]
ENIAC Electronic Numerical Integrator and Calculator
ENS ENSign
EO End Office
EO End Office [telephony]
EO Erasable Optical
EOF End Of File
EOM End Of Month
EOS Earth Observing System [space]
EOWG Engineering and Operations Working Group (under FNC)
EP Experience Points
EP Extended Play
EPA Environmental Protection Agency
EPOS Engineering and Project-management Oriented Support system
EPRI Electric Power Research Institute
EPROM Erasable Programmable Read Only Memory
EPS Encapsulated PostScript
EPT Empire of the Petal Throne
EQ Educational Quotient (see IQ)
ER Emergency Room
ERA Earned Run Average
ERA Entity-Relationship-Attribute
ERA Equal Rights Amendment
ERD Entity-Relation Diagram
ERE Entity Relationship Editor
ERT Earth Resources Technology [Space]
ES Expert System
ESA European Space Agency
ESAC Electronic Systems Assistance Center
ESDI Enhanced Standard Device Interface
ESE East South East
ESF Extended Superframe Format
ESM Electronic Support Measures
ESO European Southern Observatory
ESP Extra Sensory Perception
ESPS Entropic Signal Processing System
ESS Electronic Switching System [telephony]
ESSEX Experimental Solid State EXchange
EST Eastern Standard Time
ET Eastern Time
ET External Tank [of the US Space Shuttle]
ET Extra Terrestrial [Space]
ETA Estimated Time of Arrival
ET/ACC External Tank/Aft Cargo Carrier (see also ET) [Space]
ETC Et cetera, and so on…
ETD Estimated Time of Departure
ETFD Electronic Toll Fraud Device [telephony]
ETH Eidgnoessiche Techniche Hochschule
ETO Earth-to-Orbit [Space]
ETS Electronic Translator System
ETV Education TeleVision
EUUG European Unix User Group
EUV Extreme UltraViolet
EVA ExtraVehicular Activity
EVX Electronic Voice eXchange
EW Electronic Warfare
EW Enlisted Woman (see EM)
EWOS European Workshop for Open Systems
FA Football Association (British soccer–a word derived from Association)
FAA Federal Aviation Agency [U.S. Government]
FACD Foreign Area Customer Dialing
FAO Food and Agriculture Organization [U.S. Government]
FAQ Frequently Asked Questions [space]
FAR Federal Acquisition Regulations
FAS Foreign Agricultural Service
FAS Free Alongside Ship
FASST Flexible Architecture Standard System Technology
FAT Foreign Area Translation
FAX FAcsimile
FB Freight Bill
FBI Federal Bureau of Investigation [U.S. Government]
FCC Federal Communications Commission [U.S. Government]
FCC Federal Computer Conference
FCCSET Federal Coordinating Committee for Science, Education and Technology (under OSTP) {Maybe Eng. for Edu.??}
FCS Frame Check Sequence
FDA Food and Drug Administration [U.S. Government]
FDDI Fiber Digital Data Interface
FDDI Fiber Distributed Data Interface
FDHD Floppy Drive High Density
FDIC Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation
FDIC Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation [U.S. Government]
FDM Frequency Division Multiplexing
FDR Franklin Delano Roosevelt [U.S. President]
FEA Finite Element Analysis
FEDSIM FEDeral Systems Integration and Management center
FEMA Federal Emergency Management Agency
FEMF Foreign EMF (q.v.) (a.k.a. Cross Battery) [telephony]
FEPC Fair Employment Practices Commission
FEPG Federal Engineering Planning Group (of FNC under EOWG, originally of FRICC)
FERS Federal Employees Retirement System
FET Federal Excise Tax
FET Field Effect Transistor
FFA Future Farmers of America
FFT Fast Fourier Transform
FG-A Feature Group A [telephony:Line Side term. for LD carriers]
FG-B Feature Group B [telephony:Trunk Side term. for LD carriers (aka ENFIA B), 950 service]
FG-D Feature Group D [telephony:Trunk Side term. for LD carriers, 1+ service]
FHA Federal Home Administration
FHA Future Homemakers of America
FIB Focused Ion Beam
FICA Federal Insurance Contributions Act
FIDO Fog Investigation Dispersal Operation
FIFO First In First Out (as in registers and buffers)
FILO First In Last Out (see also FIFO)
FIMS Forms Interface Management System
FINE FINE Is Not Emacs
FIO Frequency In and Out
FIPS Federal Information Processing Standard
FIR Finite Impulse Response
FIRMR Federal Information Resource Management Regulation
FIT Federal Information Technologies, inc.
FIX Federal Inter-agency eXchange [network]
FL Florida
FLACC Full Level Algol Checkout Compiler
FLL Fixed Loss Loop [telephony]
FLOP FLoating point OPeration
FLOPS FLoating-point OPerations per Second
FLRA Federal Labor Relations Authority
FM Frequency Modulation
FMB Federal Maritime Board
FMCS Federal Mediation and Conciliation Service
FMR Follow Me Roaming [telephony]
FMS Financial Management Service (Treasury Dept)
FMS Forms Management System
FNC Federal Networking Council (formerly FRICC) [US Government, under OSTP]
FO Foreign Office
FO Forward Observer
FOAC Federal Office Automation Center
FOB Free On Board
FOC Faint Object Camera (on HST) [space]
FOC Free Of Charge
FOIA Freedom Of Information Act
FOIMS Field Office Information Management System
FOOBAR See FUBAR
FOR Free On Rail
FORCS Faa’s Operational Reporting Communication System
FORD Fix Or Repair Daily
FORD Found On Road Dead
FORTRAN FORmula TRANslation
FORTRAN FORmula TRANslator
FOS Faint Object Spectrograph (on HST) [space]
FOSE Federal Office Systems Exposition
FOT Free On Truck
FOV Field Of View
FPA Floating Point Accelerator
FPC Fish Protein Concentrate
FPE Floating Point Engine
FPHA Federal Public Housing Athority
FPHA Federal Public Housing Authority
FPLA Field Programmable Logic Array (see PLA)
FPM Feet Per Minute
FPO Field Post Office
FPO Fleet Post Office
fps Feet Per Second
FQDN Fully Qualified Domain Name [TCP/IP (DNS)]
FR Frame Relay [telephony, networking]
FRACTAL FRACTional dimensionAL
FRED Fred Resembles Emacs Deliberately
FRG Federal Republic of Germany (West Germany)
FRG Federal Republic of Gernmany (West Germany)
FRICC Federal Research Internet Coordinating Committee (now FNC, q.v.)
FROG Free Rocket Over Ground
FRPG Fantasy Role Playing Game
FRS Federal Reserve System
FSF Free Software Foundation
FSK Frequency Shift Keying
FSLIC Federal Savings and Loan Insurance Corporation
FSS Federal Supply Service
FSW Forward Swept Wings
FT Foot
FTAM File Transfer And Management (ISO upscale FTP)
FTC Federal Trade Commission
FTL Faster Than Light
FTP File Transfer Protocol
FTP File Transfer Protocol [esp. of the TCP/IP suite]
FTS Federal Telecommunications System [telephony, US Government]
FTS Federal Telephone System [telephony, US Government]
FTS Flight Telerobotic Servicer [Space]
FUBAR F***ed Up Beyond All Recognition
FUBAR Fouled (other words work also) Up Beyond All Recognition
FW Fringeworthy
FWD Front Wheel Drive
FWHM Full Width at Half Maximum
FX Foreign eXchange
FX Foriegn eXchange [telephony]
FY Fiscal Year
FYI For Your Information
G Gravity
GA Gamblers Anonymous
GA General Assembly
GA General Average
GA General of the Army
GA Georgia
GAAP Generally Accepted Accounting Principles
GAB Group Audio Bridging [telephony]
Gaia Earth’s self-sustaining Biosphere
GAN Global Area Network
GAO General Accounting Office [US Government]
GAR Grand Army of the Republic
GAS Get-Away Special [space]
GATT General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade
GAW Guaranteed Annual Wage
GAW Guarenteed Annual Wage
GB Gangbusters
GB GigaByte
GB Great Britain
GBIP General Purpose Interface Bus
GC Garbage Collection (LISP)
GC Gas Chromatograph (or Chromatography)
GCA Ground Controlled Approach
GCC Gnu C Compiler
GCD Ground Controlled Descent
GCL Graphics Command Language
GCM General Court Martial
GCR Group-Coded Recording (magnetic tape, 6250 bpi)
GCT Greenwich Civil Time
GDB Gnu DeBugger
GDP Gross Domestic Product
GE General Electric
GEM Graphics Environment Manager
GEO Geosynchronous Earth Orbit [Space]
GHQ General HeadQuarters
GHRS Goddard High Resolution Spectrograph (on HST) [space]
GHz Giga HertZ (unit of frequency, 1,000,000,000 cycles per second)
GI Galvanized Iron
GI Gastro Intestinal (as in upper GI)
GI General Issue
GI Government Issue
GIF Graphics Interchange Format
GIGO Garbage In Garbage Out
GIN Graphics INput
GISS Goddard Institute for Space Studies
GKS Graphical Kernel Standard
GKS Graphics Kernel System
GM Game Master
GM General Manager
GM General Motors
GM Guided Missile
GMBH Gesellschaft Mit Beschraenkter Haftung
GMT Greenwich Mean Time
GNP Gross National Product
GNU GNU’s Not Unix
GOES Geostationary Orbiting Environmental Satellites [Space]
GOSIP Government Open Systems Interconnection Profile (calls for government procurement of ISO/CCITT products)
GOSIP Government OSI Profile
GP General Practitioner
GPI Graphics Programming Interface
GPIB General Purpose Interface Bus
GPIB General-Purpose Interface Bus
GPL GNU General Public Licence
GPO General Post Office
GPO Government Printing Office
GPS Global Positioning System
GPS Global Positioning System [Space]
GQ General Quarters
GRB Gamma Ray Burst(er)
GREP Global Regular Expression Print, g/re/p, (UNIX command)
GREP Global Regular Expression Print [UNIX]
GRO Gamma Ray Observatory [Space]
GS General Schedule
GS Glide Slope
GSA General Services Administration
GSA General Services Adminstration [U.S. Government]
GSA Girl Scouts of America
GSBCA General Services administration Board of Contract Appeals
GSFC Goddard Space Flight Center (Greenbelt, MD) [NASA]
GSM Global System Mobile
GSM Groupe Speciale Mobile (Committee Designing preceding)
GSTS Ground-based Surveillance and Tracking System
GT Gross Ton
GTE General Telephone and Electric
GTE General Telephone and Electric [Corporate name]
GTSI Government Technology Services, inc.
GUI Graphical User Interface
GW Gamma World
GWEN Ground Wave Emergency Network
H Harn
H Height
HACD Home Area Customer Dialing
HAL Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic computer (2001)
HAL Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic computer [movie 2001]
HAM Hold And Modify
Hb HemogloBin
HBM Her British Majesty; His British Majesty
HBO Home Box Office
HC Holy Communion
HC House of Commons
HCFA Health Care Financing Administration
HCFC hydrochlorofluorocarbon [chemical]
HCL High Cost of Living
HD Hard Disk
HD Heavy Duty
HDA Head Disk Assembly (in winchester disk drives)
HDBV Host Data Base View
HDL High Density Lipoprotein
HDLC High-level Data Link Control
HDLC High-level Data Link Control (IBM network stuff)
HDTV High Definition Television
HE His Eminence; His Excellency
HEAO High Energy Astronomical Observatory
HEAO High Energy Astronomical Observatory [satellite]
HEDM High Energy-Density Matter [Space]
HEMP Help End Marijuana Prohibition
HEO High Earth Orbit [Space]
HERO Hazards of Electromagnetic Radiation to Ordnance
HF High Fantasy
HF High Frequency (3-30MHz)
HFE Human Factors Engineering
HFS Hierarchical File System
HI Hawaii
HIIPS Hud Integrated Information Processing Services
HLC Heavy Lift Capability [Space]
HLL High-Level Language
HLV Heavy Lift Vehicle [Space]
HMOS High performance Metal Oxide Semiconductor (see MOS)
HMOS High preformance Metal Oxide Semiconductor (see MOS)
HMS His/Her Majesty’s Ship
HMT His/Her Majesty’s Transport
HNPA Home Numbering Plan Area
HNPA Home Numbering Plan Area [telephony]
HOBIS HOtel Billing Information System
HOL High-Order System
HOTOL HOrizontal Take-Off and Landing
HP Hewlett Packard, inc.
HP Hewlett Packard, Inc. [Corporate name]
HP High Pressure
HP Higher Power (sort of an AA “in” term, usually God)
HP Hit Points
HP HorsePower
HPGe High Purity Germanium
HPL/T High-Productivity Languages/Tools
HQ HeadQuarters
HR House of Representatives
HRH Her Royal Highness
HRH His Royal Highness
HS High School
HSB Hue, Saturation, Brightness
HST Hawaiian Standard Time
HST Hubble Space Telescope [NASA]
HT High Tension (as in electric power transmission)
HTK Hits To Kill
HUAC House Unamerican Activities Committee
HUD Heads Up Display
HUD Housing and Urban Development
HUD Housing and Urban Development [U.S. Government]
HVAC Heating, Ventilation, and Air Conditioning
HW2000 Highway 2000
HWM High-Water Mark
Hz HertZ (unit of frequency, cycles per second)
IAB Internet Activities Board
IAEA International Atomic Energy Agency
IANA Internet Assigned Numbers Authority (IANA@ISI.EDU)
IATA International Air Transport Association
IBM Ingrained Batch Mentality
IBM International Business Machines [Corporate name]
IBM International Business Machines, inc.
IBM Itty Bitty Machines
IBT Illinois Bell Telephone
IC Integrated Circuit
IC Interexchange Carrier [telephony] (see also IEC, IXC)
ICB Interstate Computer Bank
ICBM InterContinental Ballistic Missile
ICE In-Circuit Emulator
ICI Imperial Chemical Industries
ICJ International Court of Justice
ICL International Computers Ltd.
ICMP Internet Control Message Protocol
ICP Integrated Channel Processor
ICP Inventory Control Points
ICRC International Cosmic Ray Conference
ID Idaho
ID IDentification
IDA Intercommunication Data Areas
IDA International Development Association
IDDD International Direct Distance Dial [telephony]
IDDD International Direct Distance Dialing
IDE Interactive Development Environments, inc
IDF Intermediate Distributing Frame
IDF Intermediate Distributing Frame [telephony]
IDV Interlibrational Derived Vehicle [Space]
i.e. ???? (Latin(?): in other words (?))
IE Indo-European
IEC Inter-Exchange Carrier [telephony] (see also IC, IXC)
IEE Institute of Electrical Engineers [UK]
IEEE Institute of Electrical and Electronic Engineers
IEEE Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers
IETF Internet Engineering Task Force
IF Intermediate Frequency (as in IF stage)
IFB Invitation For Bids
IFC International Finance Corporation
IFC International Freighting Corporation
IFF Identification – Friend or Foe
IFF Interchange File Format
IFLA International Federation of Library Associations
IGES Initial Graphics Exchange Standard
IGY International Geophysical Year
IHP Indicated HorsePower
IHS Integrated Hospital Support
IIA Information Industry Association
IIE Institute of Industrial Engineers
IIHF International Ice Hockey Federation
IIL Integrated Injection Logic
ILO International Labor Organization
ILS Instrument Landing System
ILV Industrial Launch Vehicle [Space]
IMF International Monetary Fund
IMHO In My Humble Opinion [net jargon]
IMP Interface Message Processor (ARPAnet)
IMP Interface Message Processor [ARPANET/MILNET] (replaced by PSN)
IMSL International Mathematical Subroutine Library
IN Indiana
INADS INitialization and ADministration System
INADS INitialization and ADministration System [telephony]
INRA Iesus Nazerenus Rex Iudaeorum (Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews)
INRIA Institut National de Recherche en Informatique et Automatique
INS Immigration and Naturalization Service
In-situ In Place [Latin]
INSTITUTE INSTITUTE’s Name Shows That It’s Totally Unrelated To EMACS
INTAP INteroperability Technology Association for information Processing
INWATS INward Wide Area Telephone Service
INWATS INward Wide Area Telephone Service [telephony]
I/O Input/Output
IO Input/Output (sometimes I/O)
IOC International Operating Center [telephony, US]
IOD Identified Outward Dialing
IOOF International Order of Odd Fellows
IOU I Owe you(U)
IP Information Provider [telephony]
IP Innings Pitched
IP Intermediate Point
IP Internet Protocol
IPC Inter-Process Communication
IPE Integrated Programming Environment
IPMS InterPersonal Message Services
IPS Information Processing Standards
IPSE Integrated Project-Support Environment
IQ Intelligence Quotient (see EQ)
IR Index Register
IR Infra-Red
IRA Individual Retirement Account
IRA Irish Republican Army
IRAS Infrared Astronomical Satellite
IRBM Intermediate Range Ballistic Missile
IRDS Information Resource Dictionary Standard
IRDS InfraRed Detection Set
IRE Institute of Radio Engineers (old name for the now IEEE, which see)
IRM Information Resources Management
IRMS Information Resources Management Service
IRS Internal Revenue Service
IRTF Internet Research Task Force
IS Information Systems
IS International Standard [ISO] (Beyond the DIS Stage)
ISA Industry-Standard Architecture
ISAM Indexed Sequential Access Method
ISBD International Bibliographic Description
ISC Information Services Center
ISC International Switching Center
ISCH Interstitial-Cell-Stimulating Hormone (same as LH)
ISDN Integrated Services Digital Network [telephony]
ISDT Integrated Systems Development Tool
ISEE International Sun Earth Explorer (usually ISEE-3)
ISF Information Systems Factory
ISFUG Integrated Software Federal User Group
ISI Information Sciences Institute
ISO International Organization for Standardization
ISODE ISO Development Environment
ISOO Information Security Oversight Office
ISPM International Solar Polar Mission
ISR Institute of Snow Research
ISRG Independent Space Research Group
ISV Independent Software Vendor
IT Industrial Technology
IT Information Technology
ITC Inter-Task Communication
ITS Incompatible Timesharing System
ITT International Telephone and Telegraph
ITU International Telecommunications Union
ITUSA IT Users Standards Association
IUE International Ultraviolet Explorer [space]
IUS Inertial Upper Stage
IUS Inertial Upper Stage [Space]
IUV Interlibrational Utility Vehicle [Space]
IXC Inter-eXchange Carrier [telephony] (see also IC, IEC)
JACM Journal of the Association for Computing Machinery
JBS John Birch Society
JC Jesus Christ
JC Joint Compound (plumbing)
JC Julius Caesar
JC Junior College
JCA Jewelry Crafts Association
JCAC Joint Civil Affairs Committee
JCAE Joint Committee on Atomic Energy
JCEE Joint Council on Economic Education
JCET Joint Council on Educational Television
JCS Joint Chiefs of Staff
JD Justice Department
JDS John Dewey Society
JES John Ericsson Society
JFK John F. Kennedy
JFK John F. Kennedy (international airport)
JFMIP Joint Financial Management Improvement Program
JGR Journal of Geophysical Research
JI Justice, Inc.
JIC Joint Intelligence Center
JIC Just in Case
JILA Joint Institute for Laboratory Astrophysics [space]
JIM Job Information Memorandum
JINTACCS Joint INteroperability of TActical Command and Control Systems
JIS Japan Industrial Standards
JISC Japanese Industrial Standards Committee
JIT Just In Time
JMS John Milton Society
JO Job Order
JO Junior Officer
JOVE Jonathan’s Own Version of Emacs
JOVIAL Jules Own Version of the International Algorithmic Language
JPL Jet Propulsion Laboratory
JRC Junior Red Cross
JSC Johnson Space Center
JSD Jackson System Development
JSRC Joint Services Review Committee
JTIDS Joint Tactical Information Distribution Systems
JV Junior Varsity
JvNC John von Neumann (Super Computer) Center
JvNCnet John von Neumann (Super Computer) Center network
K9 canine (K9 corps – army dogs)
KB KiloByte
KC King’s Counsel (QC when queen reigning)
KC Knights of Columbus
KD Kiln Dried
KD Knocked Down
KDCI Key Display Call Indicator
KERMIT Kl-10 Error-free Reciprocal Micro Interconnect over Tty lines
KHz Kilo HertZ (unit of frequency, 1000 cycles per second)
KI Kiwanis International
KIA Killed In Action
KIAS Knot Indicated Air Speed
KO Knock Out
KP Key Pulse
KP Key Pulse [telephony]
KP Kitchen Police
KPNO Kitt Peak National Observatory
KPO KeyPunch Operator
KQC King’s College London
K&R Kernighan and Ritchie, the c programming language
KS King’s Scholar
KSC Kennedy Space Center
KSU Key Service Unit
KSU Key System Unit [telephony]
KTS Key Telephone System
KTS Key Telephone System [telephony]
KTU Key Telephone Unit
KTU Key Telephone Unit [telephony]
KWIC Key Word In Context
KY Kentucky
L1 Lagrange Point #1 35,000 Miles above moon [Space]
L2 Lagrange Point #2 40,000 Miles behind moon [Space]
L3 Lagrange Point #3 (?? 35,000 Miles below moon) [Space]
L4 Lagrange Point #4 240,000 mile Earth orbit [Space]
L5 Lagrange Point #5 240,000 mile Earth orbit [Space]
LA Los Angeles
LA Louisiana
LA Low Altitude
LADAR LAser Detection And Ranging
LAM Master of Liberal Arts
LAMA Local Automatic Message Accounting
LAMA Local Automatic Message Accounting [telephony]
LAN Local Apparent Noon
LAN Local Area Network
LANL Los Alamos (NM) National Laboratory
LAPB Link Access Procedure (Balanced)
LAPD Link Access Procedure (??)
LAR Local Acquisition Radar
LASER Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation
LAT Local Apparent Time
LATA Local Access and Transport Area [telephony]
LATA Local Access Transport Area
LAX Los Angeles International Airport
LB Light Bomber
LB pound (LiBra)
LBHS Long Beach High School
LBL Lawrence Berkeley (Calif.) Labs
LBL Lawrence Berkeley Labs
LBS Pounds
LC inductor-Capacitor circuit (as in filters, L is symbol inductance)
LCD Liquid Crystal Display
LCD Lowest Common Denominator
LCDR Lieutenant Commander
LCL Lunar Cargo Lander [NASA OEXP]
LCM Least Common Multiple
LCM Life Cycle Management
LCS Laboratory for Computer Science [MIT]
LCT Landing Craft Tanks
LD Long Distance [telephony]
LDC Long Distance Carrier [telephony]
LDEF Long Duration Exposure Facility [NASA]
LDF Large Deployable Reflector [Space]
LDL Low Density Lipoprotein
LDX Long Distance eXtender
LDX Long Distance eXtender [telephony]
LEAP Low-power Enhanced At Portable
LEC Local Exchange Carrier [telephony]
LED Light Emitting Diode
LEM Lunar Excursion Module [Space]
LEO Low Earth Orbit [Space]
LEP Large Electron-Positron collider [CERN]
LF Low Frequency (30-300KHz)
LH Left Hand
LH Lower Half
LH Luteinizing Hormone (same as ISCH)
LHC Large Hadron Collider [CERN]
LHD Litterarum Humaniorum Doctor (doctor of human letters)
LHS Left Hand Side
LI Long Island
LIFIA Laboratoire d’Informatique Fondamentale et d’Intelligence Artificielle
LIFO Last In First Out (see FIFO)
LINC Laboratory INstrument Computer
LISP LISt Processing Language
LIU Line Interface Unit
LL Late Latin
LL Long Lines
LL Long Lines [telephony]
LLB Legum Baccalaureus (bachelor of laws)
LLD Legum doctor (doctor of laws)
LLN Line Link Network
LLN Line Link Network [telephony]
LLNL Lawrence Livermore National Laboratories
LLO Low Lunar Orbit [Space]
LLOX Lunar Liquid Oxygen [Space]
LLP Line Link Pulsing
LLP Line Link Pulsing [telephony]
LM Life Master (Contract Bridge ranking)
LM Lunar Module
LMC Large Magellanic Cloud (see SMC)
LMOS Line Maintenance Operations System
LMOS Line Maintenance Operations System [telephony, AT&T]
LNG Liquefied Natural Gas
LNG Liquified Natural Gas
LOA Lands of Adventure
LOFT Launch Operations Flight Test [Space]
LOOPS Lisp Object Oriented Programming System
LOP Lines Of Position
LOSF Lunar Orbit Staging Facility [Space]
LOTS Low Overhead Timesharing System
LOX Liquid Oxygen
LP Long Play(ing) (record)
LP Low Pressure
LPC Linear Predictive Coding (speech processing)
LPDA Link Problem Determination Aid
LPF League for Programming Freedom
LPG Liquefied Petroleum Gas
LPG Liquified Petroleum Gas
LPG Low Pressure Gas
LPL Lunar Personnel Lander [NASA OEXP]
LPN Licensed Practical Nurse
LPP Licensed Program Products
LPR Line PrinteR
LPT Lunar Propellant Tanker [NASA OEXP]
LPV Lunar Piloted Vehicle [NASA OEXP]
LRB Liquid Rocket Booster [Space]
LRBM Long Range Ballistic Missile
LRC Longitudinal Redundancy Character
LRU Least Recently Used
LRU Line Replaceable Unit
LS Left Side
LS Letter Signed
LS Locus Sigilli (place of seal)
LSAP Logical(?, maybe Link) Service Access Point [OSI, Networking]
LSB Least Signficant Bit; Least Significant Byte
LSB Least Significant Bit; Least Significant Byte
LSC Lecture Series Committee [MIT]
LSC LightSpeed C
LSD Least Signficant Digit
LSD Least Significant Digit
LSD LySergic acid Diethylamide
LSD pounds (Libra), shillings (Sestertii), and (old) pence (Denarii)
LSI Large Scale Integration
LSP LightSpeed Pascal
LSS Life Support System
LSS Loop Switching System
LSSD Level-Sensitive Scan Detection
LT Long Ton
LT Low Tension
LTC Lieutenant Colonel
LTJG Lieutenant Junior Grade
LTL Less than Truckload Lot
LUG Local Users Group
LUT Look-Up Table
LWM Low-Water Mark
LZ Landing Zone
M Miniatures
MA Massachusetts
MA Massachusetts [US state postal designation]
MAAP Maintenance And Administration Panel
MAC Medium Access Control
MAC Military Air Command
MAC MIT interdepartmental lab (stands for many things) (renamed to LCS)
MACSYMA project MAC’s SYmbolic MAnipulation System
MAD Mutual Assured Destruction
MADD Mothers Against Drunk Driving
MAG Magazine
MAN Metropolitan Area Network
MAP Manufacturing Automation Protocol
MAP/TOP Manufacturing Automation Protocol/Technical Office Protocol
MARBI MAchine Readable form of Bibliographic Information
MARC MAchine Readable card Catalog
MARS Multiuser Archival and Retrieval System
MASC Multiple Award Schedule Contract
MASER Microwave Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation
MASH Mobile Army Surgical Hospital
MAST Multi-Application SOnar Trainer
MAT-CALS Marine Air Traffic-Control And Landing System
MAU Math Acceleration Unit
MB MegaByte
MBA Master Business Administration
MBA Master Business Adminstration
MC Master of Ceremonies
MCA Micro Channel Architecture
MCAE Mechanical Computer Aided Engineering
MCC Master Control Console
MCC Microelectronics and Computer technology Corporation
MCP Master Control Program
MCP/AS Master Control Program/Advanced System
MCPO Master Chief Petty Officer
MCSV Mars Crew Sortie Vehicle [NASA OEXP]
MD Doctor of Medicine
MD Maryland
MD Maryland [US state postal designation]
MD Medical Doctor
MD Months after Date
MDAS Magnetic Drum Auxiliary Sender
MDC Metropolitan District Commision [Mass State Agency]
MDE Modular Design Environment
MDF Main Distrbution Frame [telephony]
MDF Main Distribution Frame
MDRE Mass Driver Reaction Engine [Space]
MDT Mean Down Time
ME Maine
ME Mechanical Engineer
MEd Master of EDucation
MERP Middle-Earth Role Playing
MeV Million Electron Volts
MF Medium Frequency (300-3000KHz)
MF Middle French
MF Multi-Frequency
MF Multi-Frequency [telephony]
MFA Master Fine Arts
MFJ Modified Final Judgment [telephony]
MFLOPS Million FLoating-point OPerations per Second
MFLOPS Million FLoating-point OPerations per Second (see also FLOPS)
MFM Modified Frequency Modulation
MFS Macintosh File System
MG Machine Gun
MG Major General
MG Military Government
MGH Massachusetts General Hospital
MGM Metro-Goldwyn Mayer
MGM Metro-Goldwyn Mayer [Corporate name]
MHD MagnetoHydroDynamics
MHS Mail Handling System [ISO]
MHz Mega HertZ (unit of frequency, 1,000,000 cycles per second)
MI Michigan
MI Military Intelligence
MIA Missing In Action
MIB Management Information Base
MIDI Musical Instrument Digital Interface
MIFASS Marine Integrated Fire And Support System
MILNET MILitary NETwork
MIM Morality In Media
MIMD Multiple Instruction, Multiple Data
MINCE MINCE Is Not Complete Emacs
MIPS Million Instructions Per Second
Mir Peace [Russian]
MIRV Multiple Independently-Targetable Reentry Vehicle
MIS Management Information System
MIS Management Information Systems
MIT Massachusetts Institute of Technology
ML Middle Latin
MLA Member of Legislative Assembly (see MPP)
MLD Minimum Lethal Dose
MLL Mars Logistics Lander [NASA OEXP]
MLS Microwave Landing System
MLS Multi-Level Security
MLV Medium Lift Vehicle [NASA OEXP]
MM Maryknoll Missioners
MMES Martin Marietta Energy Systems
MMFS Manufacturing Message Format Standard
MMM see 3M
MMU Manned Maneuvering Unit [Space]
MMU Memory Management Unit
MMW Multi-Mega Watt [Space]
MN Minnesota
MNA Member of National Assembly (Quebec)
MNP Microcom Networking Protocol
MNP Microcom Networking Protocol [product]
MO Mail Order
MO Medical Officer
MO Missouri
MO Modus Operandi
MO Money Order
MOMV Manned Orbital Maneuvering Vehicle [Space]
MOR Middle-Of-the-Road
MOS Metal Oxide Semiconductor
MOSFET Metal Oxide Semiconductor Field Effect Transistor
MOTIS Message-Oriented Text Interchange System
MOTV Manned Orbital Transfer Vehicle [Space]
MOU Memorandum Of Understanding
MOUSE Minimum Orbital Unmanned Satellite of Earth
MP Melting Point
MP Member of Parliament
MP Metropolitan Police
MP Military Police(man)
MPE Mission to Planet Earth [Space]
MPG Miles Per Gallon
MPH Miles Per Hour
MPP Member of Provincial Parliament (Canada; also MLA)
MPR Mars Pressurized Rover [Space]
MPV Mars Piloted Vehicle [NASA OEXP]
MPW Macintosh Programmer’s Workshop
MR Miniatures Rules
MRI Magnetic Resonance Imaging
MRP Manufacturing Requirements Planning
MS ManuScript
MS Master of Science
MS Military Science
MS Motor Ship
MS Multiple Sclerosis
MSB Most Significant Bit; Most Significant Byte
MSC MicroSoft C
MSCP Mass Storage Control Protocol
MSD Most Significant Digit
MS-DOS MicroSoft DOS
MSE Mobile Subscriber Equipment
MSFC Marshall Space Flight Center
MSG MonoSodium Glutamate
MSG MonoSodium Glutimate
MSH Marvel Super Heroes
MSL Mean Sea Level
MSPE Mercenaries, Spies & Private Eyes
MSS Management Support System
MSS ManuScriptS
MSS Mass Storage System
MST Mountain Standard Time
MT Metric Ton
MT Mountain Time
MTA Message Transfer Agent
MTA Metropolitan Transportation Authority
MTBF Mean Time Between Failures
MTR Magnetic Tape Recording
MTSO Mobile Telephone Switching Office [telephony]
MTTF Mean Time to Failure
MTTR Mean Time to Recovery
MTTR Mean Time To Repair
MTV Music TeleVision
MUF Maximum Usable Frequency (max freq during sunspot activity)
MULTICS MULTiplex Information Computer Services
MUMPS Mgh Utility MultiProgram System
MUNG Mung Until No Good (see the hacker’s dictionary)
MUX MUltipleXor
MVA MegaVolt Ampere
MVS Multiple Virtual Storage [IBM]
MX Missile eXperimental
N North
N Notice
NA Narcotics Anonymous
NA North America
NA Not Applicable
NAACP National Association for the Advancement of Colored People
NAAS North American Automated Systems co.
NAB National Association of Broadcasters
NABISCO NAtional BIScuit COmpany [Corporate name]
NACCIRN North American Coordinating Committee for Intercontinental Research Networking (see also CCIRN)
NACS National Advisory Committee on Semiconductors
NAD Network Access Device
NADGE NATO Air Defense Ground Environment
NAG Numerical Algorithms Group
NAGE National Association of Government Employees
NAK Negative AcKnowledge
NAM Name and Address Module [telephony, cellular phone changeable ROM]
NAM National Account Manager [telephony, AT&T specific?]
NAM Number Assignment Module [telephony, cellular phone changeable ROM]
NANP North American Numbering Plan
NAPAP National Acid Precipitation Assessment Program
NAR Nuclear Acoustic Resonance
NARDAC NAvy Regional Data Automation Center
NAS National Academy of Sciences
NAS National Advanced Systems
NASA National Aeronautics and Space Administration
NASDA National Space Development Agency [Japan]
NASP National AeroSpace Plane
NATO North Atlantic Treaty Organization
NAVDAC NAVal Data Automation Command
NAVSWC NAVal Surface Weapons Center
NB New Brunswick
NB Nota Bene
NBA National Basketball Association
NBC National Broadcasting Company [Corporate name]
NBFM NarrowBand Frequency Modulation
NBO Network Build Out
NBS National Bureau of Standards (renamed NIST) [U.S. Government]
NBVM Narrow Band Voice Modulation
NC No Charge
NC No Connection
NC North Carolina
NCA Network Control Analysis
NCC National Computer Conference
NCDC National Climatic Data Center
NCE New Catholic Edition
NCGA National Computer Graphics Association
NCIC National Cartographic Information Center
NCO Non-Commissioned Officer
NCP Network Control Program
NCR National Cash Register [Corporate name]
NCS Network Computing System
NCSA National Center for Supercomputing Applications
NCSC National Computer Security Center [NSA]
NCTL National Computer and Telecommunications Laboratory
NCV No Commercial Value
ND No Date
ND North Dakota
NDA Non-Disclosure Agreement
NDDL Neutral Data Definition Language
NDE News Development Environment
NDEA National Defense Education Act
NDL Network Database Language
NDP New Democratic Party (Canada)
NDSL National Defense Student Loan
NDSL National Direct Student Loan
NDT Newfoundland Daylight Time
NDV NASP Derived Vehicle
NE New England
NE North East
NEAR National Electronic Accounting and Reporting system
NEARnet New England Academic and Research Network
NEB New English Bible
NEC Nippon Electric Company [Corporate name]
NEI Not Elsewhere Included
NES National Energy Strategy
NES Not Elsewhere Specified
NESC National Energy Software Center
NET National Educational Television
NET NETwork
NET New England Telephone
NEWS Network extensible Window System
NEXRAD NEXt generation weather RADar
NF No Funds
NFC National Football Conference
NFFE National Federation of Federal Employees
NFL National Football League
NFS Network File System
NG National Guard
NG No Good
NH New Hampshire
NHI National Health Insurance
NHL National Hockey League (the “nation” is Canada, BTW)
NHLBI National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute (Bethesda, MD)
NIC Network Information Center (ARPAnet)
NIC Network Information Center (“The NIC” is NIC.DDN.MIL)
NIFTP (a file transfer network in the UK)
NIH National Institutes of Health
NIH Not Invented Here
NIM Nuclear Instrumentation Module (an electronic instr. standard)
NIMH National Institute of Mental Health (Rockville, MD)
NIS Network Information System (formerly yp)
NISO National Information Standards Organization
NIST National Institute of Standards and Technology (formerly NBS) [U.S. Government]
NJ New Jersey
NJB New Jersey Bell [Telephony]
NL National League (baseball)
NLM National Library of Medicine
NLP Natural Language Processing
NLRB National Labor Relations Board
NLS Network License Server
NM Nautical Mile
NM New Mexico
NM Night Message
NM No Mark; Not Marked
NMOS N channel Metal Oxide Semiconductor (N-MOS) (see MOS)
NMR Nuclear Magnetic Resonance
NNE North North East
NNTP Net News Transfer Protocol
NNW North North West
NOA NSWC Office Automation
NOAA National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration [U.S. Government]
NOAO National Optical Astronomy Observatories (Tucson, Arizona)
NOC Network Operations Center
NORAD NORth American Defense Command
NORML National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws
NOS Not Otherwise Specified
NOSC Naval Ocean Systems Center
NOTIS Network Operator Trouble Information System
NOx Nitrogen Oxides
NP No Protest
NP Nondeterministic-Polynomial
NP Notary Public
NP Noun Phrase
NPA Numbering Plan Area (area code) [Telephony]
NPC Non-Player Character (see PC) [Role-playing]
NPL National Physical Laboratory (UK)
NPL Non-Procedural Language
NPN Negative-Positive-Negative (transistor)
NPN NonProtein Nitrogen
NPR National Public Radio
NPR non-Processor Request [PDP11, UNIBUS]
NQS Network Queuing System
NRA National Reconstruction Act [FDR era US]
NRA National Rifle Association
NRC National Research Council
NRC Nuclear Regulatory Commission
NRE Non-Recurring Engineering (as in NRE costs)
NREN National Research and Education Network
NRL Naval Research Labs
NRO National Reconnaissance Office
NRZ Non-Return to Zero
NRZI Non-Return to Zero Inverted (magnetic tape, 800 bpi)
NS Not Specified
NS Nova Scotia
NS Nuclear Ship
NSA National Security Agency [U.S. Government]
NSAP Network Service Access Point [OSI, Networking]
NSC National Security Council [U.S. Government]
NSE Network Software Environment
NSF National Science Foundation [U.S. Government]
NST Newfoundland Standard Time
NSTS National Space Transportation System [Space]
NSW New South Wales (Australia)
NSWC Naval Surface Warfare Center
NSWC Naval Surface Weapons Center
NT New Testament
NT Newfoundland Time
NT Northern Territory
NTEU National Treasury Employees Union
NTIS National Technical Information Service
NTN Neutralized Twisted Nematic
NTP Network Time Protocol [Internet]
NTP Normal Temperature and Pressure (see STP)
NTSB National Transportation Safety Board [U.S. Government]
NTSC National Television Standards Committee
NTSC Never Twice Same Color
NTT Nippon Telephone & Telegraph
NU Name Unknown
NURBS NonUniform Rational B-Spline
NUSC Naval Underwater Systems Center [U.S. Government]
NV Nevada
NW North West
NWNET NorthWestNet
NWS National Weather Service
NWT North West Territories (Australia)
NXX NANP syntax for a three-digit string, {[2-9],[0-9],[0-9]} [Telephony]
NY New York
NYC New York City
NYNEX New York and New England (Telephone)
NYSE New York Stock Exchange
NYSERNet New York State Educational and Research Network
NZ New Zealand
NZUSUGI New Zealand Unix System User Group, Inc.
OA Office Automation
OA Overeaters Anonymous
OAS Organization of American States
OATS Office Automation Technology and Services
OBE Order of the British Empire
OBS Omni Bearing Selector
OC Order of Canada
OCDM Office of Civil Defense and Mobilization
OCI Out of City Indicator
OCLC Online Computer Library Center, Inc.
OCLC Online Computer Library Center (Ohio College Library Catalog)
OCO Object Code Only
OCR Optical Character Recognition
OCS Officer Candidate School
OD Doctor of Optometry
OD Oculus Dexter (right eye)
OD Officer of the Day
OD OverDose
ODI Optical Digital Image
ODISS Optical Digital Image Storage System
OE Old English
OED Oxford English Dictionary
OEM Original Equipment Manufacturer
OEO Office of Economic Opportunity
OES Order of the Eastern Star
OEXP Office of Exploration [NASA]
OF Old French
OFM Order of Friars Minor
OFS Order of Free State
OG Original Gum
OH Ohio
OIRA Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs
OIU Office Interface Unit
OJT On the Job Training
OLTP On-Line Transaction Processing
OMB Office of Management and Budget [U.S. Government]
OMD Orchestral Manouevers in the Dark
OMS Orbital Maneuvering System
OMV Orbital Maneuvering Vehicle [Space]
ON Old Norse
ONC Open Network Computing
ONI Office of Naval Intelligence
ONI Operator Number Identification
ONI Operator Number Identification [telephony]
ONR Office of Naval Research
OOP Object Oriented Programming
OOPART Out Of Place ARTifact
OOPS Object-Oriented Programming System
OP Observation Post
OP OFFICEPOWER office automation system, trademark of CCI
OP Order of Preachers
OP Out of Print
OPEC Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries
OPF Orbiter Processing Facility [space]
OPM Office of Personnel Management
OR Operating Room
OR Oregon
OR Owner’s Risk, Own Risk
ORNL Oak Ridge National Laboratory
OROM Optical Read Only Memory
OS Oculus Sinister (left eye)
OS Operating System
OS Ordinary Seaman
OS Out of Stock
OSB Order of St. Benedict
OSC Orbital Sciences Corporation [Space]
OSCAR Orbiting Satelite Carry Amateur Radio (1st launched 12 Dec 1961)
OSCAR Orbiting Satellite Carry Amateur Radio (1st launched 12 Dec 1961)
OSCRL Operating System Command Response Language
OSD Office of the Secretary of Defense
OSDIT Office of Software Development and Information Technology
OSF Open Software Foundation
OSF Open Systems Foundation
OSF Order of St. Francis
OSHA Occupational Safety and Health Administration [US Government]
OSI Open Systems Interconnection
OSI Open Systems Interconnection (per ISO; 7 layer model)
OSI/RM Open Systems Interconnection/Reference Model
OSME Open Systems Message Exchange
OSP Optical Storage Processor
OSPFIGP Open Shortest-Path First Internal Gateway Protocol [Internet]
OSS Office of Strategic Services (later CIA)
OSS Office Support System
OSS Operation Support System
OSS Operation Support System [telephony, AT&T?]
OSTP Office of Science and Technology Policy
OSTP (White House) Office of Science and Technology Policy [US Government]
OT Old Testament
OT OverTime
OTA Office of Technical Assistance
OTA Office of Technology Assessment
OTB Off-Track Betting
OTC Over The Counter (stocks)
OTF Open Token Foundation
OTH-B Over The Horizon – Backscatter (as in radar)
OT&LF Open Taxi & Limousine Foundation
OTR On The Rag
OTS Officers’ Training School
OTV Orbital Transfer Vehicle [Space]
OUTWATS OUTward Wide Area Telephone Service
OUTWATS OUTward Wide Area Telephone Service [telephony]
OV Orbiter Vehicle [Space]
PA Pennsylvania
PA Per Annum
PA Play Aid
PA Power of Attorney
PA Press Agent
PA Private Account
PA Public Address
PA Purchasing Agent
PABX Private Automatic Branch eXchange
PABX Private Automatic Branch eXchange [telephony]
PACX Private Automatic Computer eXchange
PAD Packet Assembler/Disassembler
PAD Packet Assembler-Disassembler (for networking)
PAH Polycyclic Aromatic Hydrocarbon
PAL Phase Alternation Line-rate
PAL Programmable Array Logic
PAM Payload Assist Module [Space]
PAM Pulse Amplification Modulation
PARC Palo Alto Research Center, xerox
PASS Personal Access Satellite System [NASA]
PATROL Program for Administrative Traffic Reports On Line
PBM Play By Mail game
PBS Public Broadcasting System
PBX Private Branch eXchange (mini-telephone network system)
PBX Private Branch eXchange [telephony]
PC Peace Corps
PC PerCent; PerCentage
PC Personal Computer
PC Personal Computer [IBM wants you to believe a specific kind]
PC Player Character (see NPC)
PC Player Character (see NPC) [Role-playing]
PC Post Card
PC Post Cibum (after meals)
PC Privileged Character
PC Privy Council
PC Program Counter
PC Progressive Conservative party (Canada)
PC/AT Personal Computer/Advanced Technology
PCB PolyChlorinated Biphenyl
PCB PolyChlorinated Biphenyls
PCB Printed Circuit Board
PC-DOS Personal Computer DOS
PCI Panel Call Indicator
PCIE President’s Council on Integrity and Efficiency
PCL Printer Command Language
PCM Plug-Compatible Mainframe
PCM Pulse Code Modulation
PCPC Personal Computers Peripheral Corporation
PCS Permanent Change of Station
PCTE Portable Common Tools Environment
PCTS Posix Conformance Test Suite
PD Per Diem
PD Police Department
PD Potential Difference
PD Public Domain
PDAD Proposed Draft ADdendum
PDE Partial Differential Equation
PDES Product Data Exchange Specifications
PDF Program Development Facility
PDL Page Description Language
PDL Program Design Language
PDN Public Data Network
PDP Plasma Display Panel
PDP Programmed Data Processor
PDP Programmed Data Processor [DEC]
PDQ Pretty Damned Quick
PDS Premises Distribution System [AT&T]
PDT Pacific Daylight Time
PE Phase Encoded
PE Physical Education
PE Prince Edward island
PE Printer’s Error
PE Professional Engineer
PE Protestant Episcopal
PEI Prince Edward Island
PEP Productivity Enhancement Project
PEPE Pepe Est Presque Emacs
PERL Pathologically Eclectic Rubbish Lister
PERL Practical Extraction and Report Language
PEX Phigs/phigs+ Extension to X
PGA Professional Graphics Adapter
PGA Pure Grain Alcohol
PHA Pulse Height Analyzer (or Analysis)
PHIGS Programmers Hierarchical Interactive Graphics System
PHS Public Health Service
PhysRev Physical Review Journal – Phys Rev
PIC Plastic/Polyethelene Insulated Cable [telephony]
PIC Position Independant Code
PIF Paid In Full
PIT Principal, Interest, and Taxes
PIXEL PIcture ELement
PLA Programmable Logic Array
PLATO Programmed Learning for Automated Teaching Operations [U. Ill., early ’70s]
PLC Programmable Logic Controller
PLCC Plastic Leaded Chip Carrier
PLL Phase Lock Loop
PLL Phase-Locked Loop
PLM Programming Language for Microcomputers
PLO Palestine (sic?) Liberation Organization (?)
PLO Please Leave On
PM PayMaster
PM Police Magistrate
PM Post Meridiem
PM Post Meridiem (after noon)
PM PostMaster
PM PostMortem
PM Preventive Maintenance
PM Prime Minister
PM Provost Marshal
PMO Prime Minister’s Office
PMOS P channel Metal Oxide Semiconductor (P-MOS) (see MOS)
PMT PhotoMultiplier Tube
PM/X Presentation Manager for X windows
PN Promissory Note
PNP Positive-Negative-Positive (transistor)
PO Petty Officer
PO PettyOfficer
PO Post Office
PO Postal Order
PO Purchase Order
POC Port Of Call
POD Pay On Delivery
POE Port Of Embarkation
POE Port Of Entry
POGO Polar Orbiting Geophysical Observatory
POM Phase Of Moon
POP Point of Presence [telephony]
POPS Paperless Order Processing System
POR Price On Request
POS Point Of Sale
POSI Promoting conference for OSI
POSIX Portable Operating System for unIX
POSIX Portable Operating System Interface
POTS Plain Old Telephone Service
POTV Personnel Orbit Transfer Vehicle [Space]
POV Point Of View
POW Prisoner Of War
PP Parcel Post
PP Past Participle
PP Primary Point (or dial Post Pay payphone)
PPB Parts Per Billion
PPC Pour Prendre Conge’ (to take leave)
PPCS Person to Person, Collect, Special
PPCS Person to Person, Collect, Special [telephony]
PPM Parts Per Million
PPN Parameterized Post-Newtonian formalism for general relativity
PPN Project Programmer Number
PPN Project Programmer Number
PPP Point-to-Point Protocol (successor to SLIP (q.v.))
pps Packets per Second
PPS PostPostScriptum
PPT Parts Per Trillion
PPT Pulse Pair Timing
PPT Punched Paper Tape
PQ Province of Quebec
PR PayRoll
PR Public Relations
PR Puerto Rico
PRC Planning Research Corporation
PREPnet Pennsylvania Research & Economic Partnership Network
PRI Primary Rate Interface (ISDN) [telephony]
PRN pro re nata [medicine] (as needed?)
PROFS PRofessional OFfice System [IBM]
PROM Programmable Read-Only Memory
PS PicoSecond
PS PostScript
PS PostScriptum
PS Power Steering
PS Power Supply
PS Public School
PSA Problem Statement Analyzer
PSC Pittsburgh Supercomputer Center
PSC Polar Stratospheric Clouds
PSDN Public Switched Data Network
PSDS Public Switched Digital Service [telephony, AT&T?]
PSE Programming Support Environment
PSG Platoon SerGeant
PSK Phase Shift Keying
PSL Problem Statement Language
PSR “Product Specific Realizations
PSS (unknown to me, but something in the UK environment)
PST Pacific Standard Time
PSTN Public Switched Telephone Network
PT Pacific Time
PT Patrol Torpedo (as in PT boat)
PT Physical Therapy
PT Physical Training
PTA Parent-Teacher Association
PTD Parallel Transfer Disk
PTN Plant Test Number [telephony:actual number assigned for 800 service]
PTO Patent and Trademark Office
PTO Please Turn Over
PTO Power Take-Off
PTT Post, Telephone and Telegraph administration
PTV Passenger Transport Vehicle [Space]
PUC Public Utilities Commision
PVO Pioneer Venus Orbiter
PW Prisoner of War (usually POW)
PWG Permanent Working Group
PX Post eXchange (see also BX)
PX Post eXchange (see BX)
QAM Quadrature Amplitude Modulation
QC Quality Control
QC Queen’s Counsel
QD Quaque Die (daily)
QDA Quantity Discount Agreement
QED Quod Erat Demonstrandum (which was to be demonstrated)
QEF Quod Erat Faciendum (which was to be done)
QEI Quod Erat Inveniendum (which was to be found out)
QET Quantum Effect Transistor
QIC Quarter-Inch Cartridge
QID Quater In [medicine] Die (four times a day)
QLI Query Language Interpreter
QM QuarterMaster
QMC QuarterMaster Corps
QMF Query Management Facility
QMG QuarterMaster General
QMS Quality Micro Systems
QNS Quantity Not Sufficient
q.v. ???? (Latin(?): which see)
QWERTY first six keys from left on top alphabetic row of standard keyboard
R Rolemaster
RA Regular Army
RA Research Assistant
RA Royal Academy
RAAF Royal Australian Air Force
RACE Random Access Card Equipment
RACEP Random Access and Correlation for Extended Performance
RAD Radiation Absorbed Dose
RAD Rapid Access Disk
RADAR RAdio Detection And Ranging
RADM Rear ADMiral
RAF Royal Air Force
RAM Random Access Memory (R/W)
RARDE Royal Armaments Research and Development Establishment
RARE Research Academic R(something) Europe (a Research Network)
RAS Reliability, Availability, and Serviceability
RASC Residence Account Service Center
R&B Rhythm and Blues (commonly R and B)
RBC Red Blood Count
RBI Runs Batted In
RBOC Regional Bell Operating Company
RC Red Cross
RC Regional Center
RC Resistor-Capacitor circuit (as in filters)
RC Roman Catholic
RCA Radio Corporation of America [Corporate name]
RCAF Royal Canadian Air Force
RCAS Reserve Component Automation System
RCC Radio Common Carrier
RCMP Royal Canadian Mounted Police
R&D Research and Development (commonly R and D)
RD Rural Delivery
RDA Remote Data Access
RDBMS Relational DataBase Management System
RDF Radio Direction Finding
REA Rail Express Agency
RECON Reconnaissance
REM Rapid Eye Movement
REO R. E. Olds
REO Removable, Erasable, Optical
RETMA Radio [something(equipment?)? something?] Manufacturers’ Association (????)
REXX Restructured EXtended eXecutor
RF Radio Frequency
RFC Request For Comments (ala ARPA Internet)
RFD Rural Free Delivery
RFI Radio Frequency Interference
RFP Request for Proposal
RFQ Request for Quote
RFS Remote File System
RGB Red Green Blue
RGP Raster Graphics Processor
RH Right Hand
RHC Regional (Bell) Holding Company
RHS Right Hand Side
RI Rhode Island
RIACS Research Institute for Advanced Computer Science (NASA)
RIAS Radio In the American Sector, berlin
RIF Reading Is Fundamental
RIF Reduction In Force
RILM Repertoire International de Literature Musicale
RIP Rest In Peace (or Requiescat In Pace : latin)
RIP Routing Interchange Protocol
RISC Reduced Instruction Set Computer
RITA Recognition of Information Technology Achievement award
RJE Remote Job Entry
RJE Remote Job Entry [IBM]
RLC Resistor Inductor Capacitor
RLG Research Libraries Group
RLIN Research Libraries Information Network [run by RLG (q.v.)]
RLL Run Length Limited
RMA Radio Manufacturers’ Association
RMA Return Materials Authorization
RMATS Remote Maintenance Administration and Traffic System
RMATS Remote Maintenance Admistration and Traffic System [telephony]
RMS Remote Manipulator System [Space]
RMS Richard M. Stallman
RMS Root Mean Square
RMS Royal Mail Ship
RN Registered Nurse
RN Royal Navy
RNA RiboNucleic Acid
RNZAF Royal New Zealand Air Force
ROFF Run-OFF
ROG Receipt Of Goods
ROM Range Of Motion
ROM Range Of Motion (medical)
ROM Read Only Memory
ROM Read-Only Memory
ROM Rupture Of Membrane (as in birth)
ROSAT ROentgen SATellite [space]
ROSE Remote Operations Service Entity (per ISO/CCITT layer 7)
ROTC Reserve Officers’ Training Corps
ROTS Rotary Out Trunks Selectors
ROYGBIV Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet
RPC Remote Procedure Call
RPG RePort Generator
RPG Role Playing Game
RPM Revolutions Per Minute
RPN Reverse Polish Notation
RPO Railway Post Office
RPS Revolutions Per Second
RPV Remotely Piloted Vehicle
RQ RuneQuest
RR RailRoad
RR Route Relay
RR Rural Route
RRO Rate and Route Operator
RRO Rate and Route Operator [telephony]
RS Recording Secretary
RS Revised Status
RS Right Side
RS Royal Society
RSCS Remote Spooling Communications Subsystem
RSFSR Russian Soviet Federated Socialist Republic
RSN Real Soon Now
RSU Remote Switching Unit
RSV Revised Standard Edition
RSVP Repondez S’il Vous Plait (please reply)
RSWC Right Side up With Care
RT RadioTelephone
RT RealTime
RTA Remote Trunk Arrangement
RTAC Regional Technical Assistance Center
RTAC Regional Technical Assistance Center [telephony]
RTF Rich Text Format
RTFM Read The @!# Manual
RTFM Read The F***ing Manual
RTG Radioisotope Thermoelectric Generator
RTLS Return To Launch Site (Shuttle abort mode) [NASA, Shuttle]
RTR Reel-To-Reel
RTTY Radio Teletype
RU Receive Unit
RW Right Worshipful
RW Right Worthy
S South
S Supplement
SA Salvation Army
SA Seaman Apprentice
SA Service Assistant
SA Sex Appeal
SA Sine Anno (without date)
SA South Africa
SA South America
SA Subject to Approval
SAA South Atlantic Anomaly
SAA Systems Application Architecture
SAC Special Area Code
SAC Special Area Code [telephony:Area codes that are services, not places]
SAC Strategic Air Command (see TAC)
SAC Strategic Air Command [US military]
SADD Students Against Drunk Driving
SAM Surface to Air Missile
SAM Surface-to-Air Missile
SAMA Step-by-step Automatic Message Accounting
SAMA Step-by-step Automatic Message Accounting [telephony]
SAMTO Space And Missile Test Organization
SAP Second Audio Program
SAP Service Access Point [OSI, Networking]
SAR Synthetic Aperture Radar
SARTS Switched Access Remote Test System
SASE Self-Addressed Stamped Envelope
SASI Shugart Associates Systems Interface
SAT Satellite [Space]
SAW Surface Acoustic Wave
SBA Small Business Administration
SC Secondary Channel
SC Sectional Center
S&C Skull & Crossbones
SC South Carolina
SC SubCommittee
SCAD Subsonic Cruise Armed Decoy
SCADC Standard Central Air Data Computer
SCAME SCreen oriented Anti-Misery Editor
SCAMP Single-Chip A-series Mainframe Processor
SCAN Switched Circuit Automatic Network
SCC Switching Control Center (or Specialized Common Carriers)
SCCS Source Code Control System
SCE Signal Conversion Equipment
SCE Structure Chart Editor
SCI SpaceCraft Incorporated
SCIFI SCIence FIction (often used pejoratively of what really isn’t)
SCO Santa Cruz Operation
SCOOPS SCheme Object Oriented Programming System
SCOTS Surveilance and Control Of Transmission Systems
SCSI Small Computer Systems Interface
SCUBA Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus
SCUD Subsonic Cruise Unarmed Decoy
SD South Dakota
SDI Standard Disk Interconnect
SDI Stategic Defence Initiative
SDI Strategic Defense Initiative
SDI Strategic Defense Initiative [US Government]
SDLC Synchronous Data Link Control
SDLC Synchronous Data Link Control [IBM]
SDM Sub-rate Data Multiplexer
SDN Software Defined Network [telephony, AT&T]
SDO Staff Duty Officer
SDSC San Diego Supercomputer Center
SDV Shuttle Derived Vehicle [Space]
SE South East
SEATO SouthEast Asia Treaty Organization
SEC Security Exchange Commission
SECNAV SECretary of the NAVy
SED Stream EDitor
SEI Software Engineering Institute (Carnegie Mellon)
SEL Software Engineering Laboratory
SEM Scanning Electron Microscope
SETI Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence [Space]
SF San Francisco
SF Science Fiction; Speculative Fiction
SF Standard Form
SF Star Frontiers
SFRPG Science Fiction Role Playing Game
SG StarGuard
SG SubGroup
SGML Standard Generalized Markup Language
SHAPE Supreme Headquarters Allied Powers Europe
SHAR SHell ARchiver
SHCD Sherlock Holmes Consulting Detective
SHF Super High Frequency (3-30GHz)
SHRPG Super Hero Role Playing Game
SI Staten Island
SIAM Society for Industrial and Applied Mathematics
SIG Special Interest Group
SIGCAT Special Interest Group for Cd-rom Applications Technology
SIMD Single Instruction, Multiple Data
SIMM Single In-line Memory Module
SIMM System Integrated Memory Module
SINE SINE is not EINE
SIPS Satellite Imagery Processing System
SIRTF Space Infrared Telescope Facility [Space]
SIS Strategic Information System
SISCOM Satellite Information System COMpany
SITA Societe Internationale Telecommunications Aeronautiques
SJ Society of Jesus
Skyhook Surface to space “elevator” transportation system [Space]
SL Salvage Loss
SL Space Launch [Space]
SLA Special Libraries Association
SLA Synchronous Line Adapter
SLAC Stanford Linear Accelerator Center
SLAN Sine Loco, Anno, (vel) Nomine (without place, year, or name)
SLAR Side Looking Airborne Radar
SLBM Submarine Launched Ballistic Missiles
SLC Space Launch Complex [Space]
SLC Subscriber Loop Carrier [telephony]
SLDC Synchronous Data Link Control
SLIP Serial Line Internet Protocol
SLIP Serial Line IP (sometimes SL/IP) (see also PPP)
SLP Super Long Play (VHS VCR)
SM Service Mark
SMA Sergeant Major of the Army
SMA Spectrum Manufacturers Association
SMC Small Magellanic Cloud (see LMC)
SMD Storage Module Device (interface standard for disk drives)
SMD Surface Mounted Devices
SMDR Station Message Detail Recording [telephony]
SMDS Switched Multi-megabit Data Service [telephony, networking]
SME Solar Mesosphere Explorer [space]
SMEGMA Sophisticated Modern Editor with Gloriously Magnificent Abilities
SMERSH Abbr. of Russian phrase meaning “Death to the spies.”
SMILS Sonobuoy Missile Impact Location System
SMM Solar Maximum Mission (satellite 1980-1989) [space]
SMTP Simple Mail Transfer Protocol
SN Science News [periodical]
SN Serial Number
SN Super Nova
SNA Systems Network Architecture [IBM]
SNA Systems Network Architecture (IBM network)
SNADS SNA Distribution Services
SNAFU Situation Normal — All Fouled Up (also, F*cked)
SNAFU Situation Normal — All Fouled Up (also more profane versions)
SNAP Shipboard Non-tactical Automated data Processing program
SNAP Sub Network Access Protocol [OSI, Networking]
SNCF Societe National des Chemins de Fer (French National Railways)
SNF Server-Natural Format
SNMP Simple Network Management Protocol
SNMP Simple Network Management Protocol [TCP/IP]
SNOBOL StriNg Oriented symbOLic Language
SNPA SubNetwork Point of Attachment
SNR Signal to Noise Ratio
SO Seller’s Option
SO Significant Other
SO Space Opera
SO Strike Out
SOAP Symbolic Optimizing Assembler Program
SOH Start Of Header, ASCII contol character (dec=01,control-A)
SOH Start Of Header, ASCII control character (dec=01,control-A)
SOHIO Standard Oil of oHIO
SOHIO Standard Oil of oHIO [Corporate name]
SOL Short on Landing (or, colloquially, Shit Out of Luck)
SONAR SOund Detection And Ranging
SONET Synchronous Optical Network [telephony]
SOP Standard Operating Procedure
SOS Save Our Souls (International standard distress call, Morse …—…)
SOS Silicon On Saphire
SOS Silicon On Sapphire
SP Shore Patrol
SP Short Play (VHS VCR)
SP Southern Pacific
SP Southern Pacific (railroad) [Corporate name]
SP Stack Pointer
SP Star Patrol
SPA Software Publishers Association
SPAG Standards Promotion and Applications Group
SPAN Space Physics and Analysis Network [NASA] (DECnet)
SPAR Stock Points Adp Replacement
SPARC Scalable Processor ARChitecture
SPARC Standards, Planning, And Requirements Committee
SPAWAR naval SPAce and WARfare command
SPC Software Productivity Consortium
SPCA Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
SPCC Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children
SPEC Systems Performance Evaluation Cooperative
SPITBOL SPeedy ImplemenTation of snoBOL
SPNI Society for the Protection of Nature in Israel
SPS Solar Power Satellite [Space]
SPUR Systech Pluraxial Unplug Repeater
SQL Structured Query Language
SQUID Superconducting QUantum Interference Device
SRAM Short Range Attack Missile
SRAM Static RAM
SRB Solid (fuel) Rocket Booster [Space]
SRG Short and Ring Ground (test) [telephony]
SRI Stanford Research Institute
SRM Solid Rocket Motor [space]
SRO Standing Room Only
SS7 Signalling System #7 [telephony]
SSA Social Security Administration
SSA Social Security Administration [U.S. Government]
SSB Single Side Band
SSC Superconducting Super Collider
SSE South-SouthEast
SSF Space Station Freedom [NASA, space]
SSFF Showcase Software Factory of the Future
SSG Staff SerGeant
SSI Small Scale Integration
SSI Space Services Incorporated [Space]
SSI Supplemental Security Income
SSME Space Shuttle Main Engine [space]
SSPS Satellite Solar Power Station [Space]
SSR Secondary Surveillance Radar
SSR Soviet Socialist Republic
SSTO Single Stage to Orbit [Space]
SSTV Slow Scan TeleVision
SSW South-SouthWest
ST Short Ton
STARS Software Technology for Adaptable, Reliable Systems
STD Sacrae Theologiae Doctor (doctor of sacred theology)
STD Sexually Transmitted Disease (replaces VD)
STD State Transition Diagram
STD Subscriber Trunk Dialing [British, and elsewhere; equiv. DDD in USA]
STD Subscriber Trunk Dialing (British for DDD)
STILO Scientific and Technical Intelligence Liaison Office
STL St. Louis (airport designation)
STN SuperTwisted Nematic
STOL Short TakeOff and Landing
STP Software Through Pictures
STP Standard Temperature and Pressure (see NTP)
STRPG Star Trek: The Role-Playing Game
STS Space Transportation System (space shuttle) [NASA]
STV Single Transferable Vote
STV Space Transfer Vehicle [Space]
SUM Symantec Utilities for Macintosh
SUN Stanford University Network
SUN SUN MicroSystems Computer [Brand name]
SUNOCO SUN Oil COmpany
SUNOCO SUN Oil COmpany [Corporate name]
SUNY State University of New York
SURAnet Southeastern Universities Research Association Network
SVID System V Interface Definition
SW South West
SW SuperWorld
SWBT South Western Bell Telephone [Telephony]
SWIFT Society for Worldwide Interbank Financial Communications
SWS Scientific Workstation Support
SXS Step by Step switching [Telephony]
T Traveler
T1 1.544Mbps [telephony], one of the basic signalling systems 24x64Kb
T3 45Mbps (eq 28 T1 channels) [Telephony]
TA Teaching Assistant
TAC Tactical Air Command (see SAC)
TAC Terminal Access Controller
TAC Terminal Access Controller [ARPAnet/MILNET/DDN]
TACCS Tactical Army Combat service support Computer System
TAE Transportable Applications Environment
TAL Trans-Atlantic Abort Landing [NASA, Shuttle]
TAR Tape ARchiver
TASI Time Assign{ment,ed} Speech Interpolation [Telephony]
TAU Thousand Astronomical Units [Space]
TB TuBerculosis
TBA To Be Announced
TBD To Be Determined
TC Teachers College
TCA Terminal Controlled Airspace
TCP Transmission Control Protocol
TCP/IP Transmission Control Protocol/Internet Protocol
TCSEC Trusted Computer System Evaluation Criteria (orange book)
TCT To Challenge Tomorrow
TD TouchDown
TD Treasury Department
TDCC Transportation Data Coordinating Committee
TDE Transition Diagram Editor
TDI Trusted Database Interpretation
TDM Time-Division Multiplexer
TDR Time Domain Reflectometer
TDRS Tracking and Data Relay Satellite [Space]
TDY Temporary DutY
TECO Tape Editor and COrrector
TECO Text Editor and COrrector
TEFLON polyTEtraFLuOrethyleNe
TFP Tops Filing Protocol
TFS Translucent File System
TFT The Fantasy Trip
TFT Thin Film Transistor
TG Thieves’ Guild
THIEF THief Isn’t Even Fine
THIEF This Here Isn’t Even Fine
THOR Tandy High-intensity Optical Recording
TI Texas Instruments
TIA Thanks In Advance [net jargon]
TIA Thanks In Advance (special to USENET)
TIA Transient Ischemic Attack
TIC TermInfo Compiler
TID Ter In Die (three times a day)
TIFF Tag Image File Format
TKO Technical Knock Out
TL Total Loss
TLA Three Letter Acronym
TLC Tender Loving Care
TLI Transort-Level Interface
TM TradeMark
TMA Tycho Magnetic Anomaly [movie 2001]
TMAC Treasury department’s Multiuser Acquisition Contract
TMIS Telecommunications Management Information System
TMO Telephone Money Order
TMP The Morrow Project
TMRC Tech Model Railroad Club [MIT]
TMRC Transportation Modeling Research Center (TMRC {above} alter ego)
TN Tennessee
TN Twisted Nematic
TNC Threaded Neill Concelman (connector) [electronics] (see also BNC)
TNF Tumor Necrosis Factor [biology, medicine]
TNT TriNitro Toluene
TO Telegraph Office
TO Turn Over
TODS Transactions on Database Systems (ACM)
TOMS Transactions on Mathematical Software (ACM)
TOOIS Transactions on Office Information Systems (ACM)
TOP Technical Office Protocol
TOP Technical/Office Protocol
TOPLAS Transactions on Programming Languages and Systems (ACM)
TOPS Traffic Operator Position System [telephony]
TOPSMP Traffic Operator Position System Multipurpose [telephony]
TORES Text ORiented Editing System
TOS Transfer Orbit Stage [Space]
TOW Tube launched, Optically tracked, and Wire guided
TP from TP0 and TP4 (ISO/CCITT Transport Services; like TCP)
TP Transaction Processing
TP4 Transport Protocol, class 4 [ISO]
TPC The Phone Company (from classic movie: _The President’s Analyst_)
TPI Tracks Per Inch
TPO Traveling Post Office
TPP TetraarylPorPhyrin
TPS Technical Publishing Software
TPS TeleProcessing Services
TR Tech Report [at least LCS (q.v.), maybe others]
TR Technical Reference [Bell, telephony]
TRG Tip and Ring Ground (test) [telephony]
TROFF Text RunOFF, text formatter
TRUSIX TRUSted unIX
TRW Thompson, Ramo, and Woolridge
TS Top Secret
TSAP Transport Service Access Point [OSI, Networking]
TSD Total System Design
TSP Teleprocessing Services Program
TSP Thrift Savings Plan
TSP Time Synchronization Protocol
TSP TriSodium Phosphate
TSR TSR (Fortune 500 Company that manufactures Dungeons & Dragons)
TSS Tethered Satellite System [Space]
TSTO Two Stage to Orbit [Space]
T&T Tunnels & Trolls
TTFN Tah Tah, For Now
TTL Transistor Transistor Logic
TTMA Tennessee Tech Microcomputer Association
TTU Tennessee Technological University
TTY TeleTYpe
TUNIS Toronto UNIversity System
TV TeleVision
TVA Tennesee Valley Authority
TVA Tennessee Valley Authority
TW Thieves’ World
TWA Trans World Airlines
TWIMC To Whom It May Concern
TWT Traveling Wave Tube
TWX TeletypeWriter eXchange
TX Texas
u (representing the greek mu) – micro
U Universe
UA United Artists
UAR United Arab Republic
UAR User Action Routine
UARS Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite [space]
UART Universal Asynchronous Receiver Transmitter
UBA UniBus Adapter
UBA UniBus Adapter [DEC]
UBC Universal Bibliographic Control
UBC University of British Columbia
UCAR University Corporation for Atmospheric Research
UCB University of California at Berkeley
UCB University of California, Berkeley
UCD Uniform Call Distributor [telephony]
UCD University of California at Davis
UCI University of California at Irvine
UCL University College London
UCLA University of California at Los Angeles
UCR University of California at Riverside
UCSB University of California at Santa Barbara
UCSC University of California at Santa Cruz
UCSC University of California, Santa Cruz
UCSD University of California at San Diego
UCSD University of California, San Diego
UCSF University of California at San Francisco
UCSF University of California, San Francisco
UDB Unified DataBase
UDP User Data Protocol
UDP User Datagram Protocol
UEC User Environment Component
UFO Unidentified Flying Object
UH Upper Half
UHF Ultra High Frequency (300-3000MHz)
UIMS User Interface Management System
UK United Kingdom
UL Underwriters Laboratory
ULANA Unified Local-Area Network Architecture
UMOC Ugliest Man On Campus [MIT]
UMT Universal Military Training
UN United Nations
UNESCO United Nations Educational, Scientific, & Cultural Organization
UNICEF United Nations International Children’s Emergency Fund (now UN Child. Fund)
UNICEF United Nations International Children’s Emergency Fund (now United Nat. Child. Fund)
UNICS UNiplex Information Computer Services
UNIX Not an acronym at all. Was a joke on MIT’s MULTICS.
UNMA Unified Network Management Architecture [AT&T]
UNO United Nations Organization
UP Union Pacific
UP Union Pacific (railroad) [Corporate name]
UPC Universal Product Code
UPI United Press International
UPI United Press International [Corporate name]
UPS Uninterruptible Power Supply
UPS United Parcel Service
UPS United Parcel Service [Corporate name]
UR University of Rochester
US United States (of America)
USA Union of South Africa
USA United States Army
USA United States of America
USAF United States Air Force
USAFA United States Air Force Academy (in Colorado Springs)
USAN University Satellite Network
USC University of Southern California
USCG United States Coast Guard
USDA United States Department of Agriculture
USES United States Employment Service
USFL United States Football League
USGS United States Geological Survey
USIA United States Information Agency
USM United States Mail
USMC United States Marine Corps
USN United States Navy
USO United Service Organizations
USO Unix Software Operation
USP United States Pharmacopeia
USPS United States Postal Service
USR User Service Routines
USS United States Ship
USSR Union of Soviet Socialist Republics
USSS User Services and Systems Support
USW Und So Weiter
UT Universal Time
UT University of Tennessee
UT University of Texas
UT UTah
UTC Coordinated Universal Time
UTC Universal Coordinated Time
UTnet University of Texas Network
UUCP Unix-to-Unix CoPy
UUCP UNIX-to-UNIX Copy Program
UUG Unix User Group
UV UltraViolet
UW UnderWriter
UW Univ of Wisconsin
VA Veterans Administration
VA Virginia
VAB Vehicle Assembly Building [space]
VAFB Vandenberg Air Force Base [space]
VAN Value Added Network (e.g. Tymnet, Telenet, etc)
VANS Value-Added Network Services
VAR Value Added Remarketer (reseller)
VAR Value Added Remarketers
VASI Visual Approach Slope Indicator
VAT Value Added Tax
VAX Virtual Address eXtended
VAXBI VAX Bus Interconnect
VCM Voice Coil Motor
VCO Voltage Controlled Oscillator
VCR VideoCassette Recorder
VCU Virginia Commonwealth University
VD Venereal Disease (see also STD)
VDFM Virtual Disk File Manager
VDI Virtual Device Interface
VDM Vienna Development Method
VDM Virtual Device Metafile
VDT Video Display Terminal
VF Video Frequency
VF Voice Frequency
VFO Variable Frequency Oscillator
VFW Veterans of Foreign Wars
VFW Volunteer Fire Department
VG Very Good
VG Vicar-General
VGA Video Graphics Array
VHDL Vhsic Hardware Description Language
VHF Very High Frequency (30-300MHz)
VHS Video Home System (VCR)
VHSIC Very High Speed Integrated Circuit
VI VIsual editor
VIABLE Vertical Installation Automation BaseLinE
VILE VI Like Emacs
VINE Vine Is Not Emacs
VIP Very Important Person
VISTA Volunteers In Service To America
VITA Vme International Trade Association
VJ Video Jockey
VL Vulgar Latin
VLA Very Large Array radio telescope in Arizona or New Mexico
VLF Very Low Frequency (3-30KHz)
VLIW Very Long Instruction Word
VLSI Very Large Scale Integration
VM Virtual Memory
VM/CMS Virtual Machine/Conversational Monitor System
VMM Virtual Memory Manager
VMOS Vertical Metal Oxide Semiconductor (V-MOS) (see MOS)
VMR Vertical Market Reseller
VMS Vertical Motion Simulator
VMS Virtual Memory System
VMS Virtual Memory System [DEC]
VOA Voice Of America
VOIR Venus Orbiting Imaging Radar (superseded by VRM) [space]
VOIS Voice-Operated Information System
VOQ Visiting Officer’s Quarters
VPI&SU Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University
VRC Vertical Redundancy Character
VRM Venus Radar Mapper (now called Magellan) [space]
VRM Virtual Resource Manager
VSAT Very Small Aperture Terminal
VSAT Very Small Aperture Terminal, satellite dish
VSX X/open Verification Suite
VTAM Virtual Telecommunications Access Method
VTAM Virtual Telecommunications Access Method [IBM]
VTOC Volume Table Of Contents
VTOL Vertical TakeOff and Landing
VTR VideoTape Recorder
VUP Vax Unit of Performance
V&V Villains & Vigilantes
VVSS Vertical Volute Spring Suspension
W West
W Width
WA Washington
WA Western Australia
WAC Womens Air Corps
WAN Wide Area Network
WARC World Administrative Conference
WATS Wide Area Telephone Service
WB Water Ballast
WB WayBill
WBC White Blood Cells
WC Water Closet
WC Without Charge
WCTU Women’s Christian Temperance Union
WECo Western Electric Company [AT&T manufacturing arm]
WF/PC Wide Field / Planetary Camera (on HST) [space]
WG Working Group
WH WarHammer
WHBL World Home Bible League
WHCA White House Communications Agency [U.S. Government]
WHO World Health Organization
WI Wisconsin
WIS WWMCCS Information System
WITS Washington Interagency Telecommunications System
WMSCR Weather Message Switching Center Replacement
WOPR War Operations Planned Response (from “Wargames” movie)
WORM Write Once, Read Many time
WOW Worlds of Wonder
WP Word Processing
WP Working Paper
WSI Wafer Scale Integration
WSW West-SouthWest
WU Washington University
WU Western Union
WV West Virginia
WW World War
WWI World War I
WWII World War II
WWMCCS World-Wide Military Command and Control System
WY Wyoming
WYSIWIS What You See Is What I See
WYSIWYG What You See Is What You Get
XCF eXperimental Computing Facility
XD without Dividend
XDR eXternal Data Representation
XFER Transfer
XINU XINU Is Not UNIX
XL eXtra Large
XMTR transMiTteR (the X is for trans)
XNS Xerox Network Service
XNS Xerox Network Services
XO eXecutive Officer
XOR eXclusive OR (logical function)
XPORT Transport
XSECT cross SECTion
XTAL crysTAL (another version of x for crys, see XMTR)
XUI X-windows User Interface
YA Yet Another
YACC Yet Another Compiler Compiler
YB YearBook
YMCA Young Mens Christian Association
YMHA Young Mens Hebrew Association
YOB Year Of Birth
YP Yellow Pages
YRS Ysgarth Rules System
YST Yukon Standard Time
YT Yukon Territory
YT Yukon Time
YTD Year To Date
YWCA Young Womens Christian Association
YWHA Young Womens Hebrew Association
Z Zenith
Z Zero
ZB Zero Beat
ZETA Zero Energy Thermonuclear Assembly
ZGS Zero Gradient Synchrotron
ZI Zonal Index
ZIP Zone Improvement Plan (post office code)
ZIP Zone Improvement Plan (U.S. post office code)
ZK barrage balloon (navy symbol)
ZMRI Zinc Metals Research Institute
ZPG Zero Population Growth
ZPRSN Zurich Provisional Relative Sunspot Number
ZST Zone Standard Time
ZT Zone Time
ZWEI Zwei Was Eine Initially

0

MODERN ACRONYMS
—————
OINKs one income, no kids
DINKs double income, no kids
PINKs private income, no kids
LINCs low income, nine cats
NINKs no income, nine kids
DUDs demographically undesirable divorcee
PODs punks on dope
YAMs young assholes on mopeds
SLIFs still living in the fifties
SLITS still living in the sixties
SHITs suburban heterosexuals in town to swing
CANTs corporate animals, no talent
SIMPs sexually inactive male professionals
MIDGETs mentally inferior divorced guys expecting terrific sex
TOADs tennis-obsessed advanced-degree holders
RUGs rich ugly guys
DRUGs dumb rich ugly guys
SACs sixties acid casualties
SIPs single-income pot smokers
DORKs damned overpaid Republican know-it-alls
FDAs former drug abusers
YANKs young assholes, no kids
NERDs nervous evangelicals, recently defrocked
SOBs son of the boss
CPAs car phone assholes
WIGGs women into gay guys
BICEPs bisexual college-educated professionals
AWOLs always working-out at lunch time
SLIMEs single lawyers into money and exercise
RAMBOs right-wingers afraid of Mexicans, blacks and Orientals

0

4:30 p.m. The subway train draws to a halt. There is no station in sight.
Anxious glances dart around about the passengers as they realize each others
presence for the first time. At the end of the train, a young lady in a green
pants suit stands up in the middle of the car and starts to unbutton her jacket,
which she takes off and drops to the dirty floor. She also takes off her shoes,
her pants, her blouse, and the rest of her undergarments dropping them into a
neat little pile. This leaves her totally naked. She then moves her hands
across her thighs and begins to fiddle around between her legs. Eventually she
grabs hold of something cold and metallic and very slowly she starts to unzip
her body; working in a straight line up the stomach, between the breasts, up the
neck, taking it up right through the center of her face to her forehead. Her
fingers probe up and down the resulting slit; finally coming to rest on both
sides of her navel. She pauses for a moment, before carefully working her flesh
apart. Slipping her right hand into the open gash, she pushes up between her
throat, latching on to some buried solid at the top of her spine. With a great
deal of effort she loosens and pulls out a thin shimmering golden rod. Her
fingers release their grip and her crumpled body neatly sliced slithers down the
liquid surface of the rod to the floor. SPLAT! The rod remains hovering just
above the ground. A flagpole without a flag.

The other passengers have been totally silent, but at the sound of the body
dropping onto the floor a large middle-aged lady stands up and shouts “STOP THIS
, ITS DISGUSTING!” The golden rod disappeared The green pants suit was left on a
hanger, with a dry cleaning ticket pinned on the left arm. On the ticket was
written:

Name……………………
Address…………………
……………………….
……………………….

0

The Official National
“TEN CODE SIGNAL”

10-0 = Caution
10-1 = Unable to copy, – change location
10-2 = Signals Good
10-3 = Stop transmitting
10-4 = Acknowledgement, -Roger, -OK
10-5 = Relay
10-6 = Busy, -Stand by unless urgent
10-7 = Out of service
10-8 = In service
10-9 = Repeat
10-10 = Fight in progress
10-11 = Dog case
10-12 = Stand by
10-13 = Weather and road report
10-14 = Report of prowler
10-15 = Civil disturbance
10-16 = Domestic trouble
10-17 = Meet complainant
10-18 = Complete assignment quickly
10-19 = Return to…
10-20 = Location
10-21 = Call …. By telephone
10-22 = Disregard
10-23 = Arrived at scene
10-24 = Assignment completed
10-25 = Report in person to … (meet)
10-26 = Detaining subject, Expedite
10-27 = Drivers license informations
10-28 = Vehicle registration informations
10-29 = Check records for wanted
10-30 = Illegal use of radio
10-31 = Crime in progress
10-32 = Man with gun
10-33 = Emergency
10-34 = Riot
10-35 = Major crime alert
10-36 = Correct time
10-37 = Investigate suspicious vehicle
10-38 = Stopping suspicious vehicle
10-39 = Urgent, use light and sirene
10-40 = Silent run, No light nor sirene
10-41 = Beginning tour of duty
10-42 = Ending tour of duty
10-43 = Information
10-44 = Request permission to leave patrol … for …
10-45 = Animal carcass in … lane at …
10-46 = Assist motorist
10-47 = Emergency road repairs needed
10-48 = Traffic standard needs repairs
10-49 = Traffic light out
10-50 = Accident, – F, PI, PD,
10-51 = Wrecker needed
10-52 = Ambulance needed
10-53 = Road blocked
10-54 = Livestock on highway
10-55 = Intoxicated driver
10-56 = Intoxicated pedestrian
10-57 = Hit and run, – F, PI, PD,
10-58 = Direct traffic
10-59 = Convoy or escort
10-60 = Squad in vicinity
10-61 = Personell in area
10-62 = Reply to message
10-63 = Prepare to make written copy
10-64 = Message for local delivery
10-65 = Net message assignment
10-66 = Message cancellation
10-67 = Clear to read net message
10-68 = Dispatch information
10-69 = Message received
10-70 = Fire alarm
10-71 = Advice natur of fire
10-72 = Report progress on fire
10-73 = Smoke report
10-74 = Negative
10-75 = In contact with
10-76 = En route
10-77 = ETA, Estimated time of arrival
10-78 = Need assistance
10-79 = Notify corroner
10-80 = Chase in progress
10-81 = Breathalyzer report
10-82 = Reserve lodging
10-83 = Work school xing at …
10-84 = If meeting … advice ETA
10-85 = Delayed due to ….
10-86 = Officer operator on duty
10-87 = Pick up checks for distribution
10-88 = Advice present telephone number of …
10-89 = Bomb threat
10-90 = Bank alarm at …
10-91 = Pick up prisoner subject
10-92 = Improperly parked vehicle
10-93 = Blockade
10-94 = Drag racing
10-95 = Prisoner / subject in custody
10-96 = Mental subject
10-97 = Check signal, Test
10-98 = Prison or Jail break
10-99 = Records indicate anted or stolen
10-100 = Robocop on duty
10-200 = Robocop is comming to help you
10-300 = BoB the BloB on duty
10-400 = BoB the BloB is comming to help you
10-500 = World War III, send Robocop and BoB the BloB for help

This list is valid pr 1.st of august 1989.
C-89 BoB the BloB, protected by ROBOCOP, so do’nt fuck with
this list!!!!( You may go 10-7 before you know )

This list may be distributed to all BBS’s and all 10-.. codes
may be used by all personell any time they feel for it..10-4???

* * ..CHRIS.. * * ..02-547722.. * *
­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
__
/// …And remember where you found this first :
__ ///
\ /// T H E C R U S A D E R S B B S
\///
// For maximum Amiga pleasure, dial (Norway) – 6 – 81 08 81
or 81 08 64

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

0

TO: CLARK MATTHEWS FROM: STEVE BEATTY IN MINNEAPOLIS DATE: 2-29-92

CLARK – I did a little more research re: “Yipes, Stripes!” in OUR money….

Here’s what I’ve got so far:

The Federal Reserve BBS (known as Kimberely!) here in Minneapolis
at 612-340-2489 (2400-MNP5) has a file called SECURITY.MON that
discusses the polyester stripe!

I’ve excerpted the appropriate part below, with ——dotted lines——-
surrounding the pertinent info.

This information has been publicly available since July 25, 1991 –
so what’s the REAL story?

Is this SMOKE? or is there a FIRE ??

73, Steve

From the Federal Reserve “Kimberely” BBS in Minneapolis:

**************************************************************************

YOUR MONEY MATTERS …

A DESIGN THAT ENDURES
———————
United States currency is recognized and valued by people everywhere. Its
traditional design represents the most widely held currency in the world.
Although there have been changes from time to time, the basic design has
endured since the early 1900s.

For example, during that time the Department of the Treasury exchanged
heavy silver dollars for Silver Certificates with a design similar to
today’s currency. National banks also used much the same design to issue
National Bank Notes.

The Federal Reserve System, established by Congress in 1913, issues Federal
Reserve Notes through its banks and branches. Although the notes’ backs
varied throughout the years, the faces represented the familiar design. In
1929, the notes were made smaller, and uniform designs for each
denomination were adopted. The last significant change to the nation’s
paper money was in 1957 when the phrase “In God We Trust” was added.

KEEPING IT SAVE
—————
The U.S. dollar, with its universal acceptability and trusted design, is
also the most counterfeited currency in the world. Even so, counterfeiting-
one of the oldest crimes in history–has been managed successfully since
1865 when the United States Secret Service was created to curtail
counterfeiters. At that time, bogus bills–amounting to almost one-third of
the nation’s currency–posed a serious risk to the country’s economic
stability.

The Secret Service’s enforcement success has been aided by the enduring
design. Along with the paper used for making currency, the design
incorporates numerous security features to deter counterfeiters. The
border, the portrait, the red and blue fibers embedded in the paper, the
placement of seals and serial numbers, and the intaglio printing from
meticulously engraved plates are security designs that have served well for
almost a century. The features, along with strict enforcement, discourage
all but the most determined from pursuing the crime of counterfeiting.

But now, advancements in color copier, laser scanner, and digital printing
equipment require another step to protect currency. A new threat is posed
by the opportunity for inexperienced people with access to modern equipment
to make counterfeits in offices, copy centers, and printing facilities. The
Secret Service is effective in rooting out large-scale, professional
counterfeiters. But the potential for small numbers of counterfeits being
passed extensively in widely dispersed areas presents a new law enforcement
challenge.

SECURING THE FUTURE
——————-
Still ahead of the general availability of advanced copier and printer
equipment, the Department of the Treasury’s Bureau of Engraving and
Printing has produced currency with a security thread and microprinting to
augment existing security features. The Federal Reserve System Banks are
introducing the new enhancements first in Series 1990 $50 and $100 notes.
New and existing currency will co-circulate without recall. Both will be
legal tender.

————————- YIPES, STRIPES! ———————————

The security thread is a polyester strip embedded in the paper to the left
of the Federal Reserve seal. The strip is printed with USA and the note’s
value, e.g., USA 50 or USA 100, in a repeated up-and-down vertical pattern.
Visible when held to a light, the thread cannot be reproduced in the
reflected light of copiers.

—————————————————————————

With microprinting, the words “The United States of America” are repeated
along the sides of the portrait. The letters are too small to be read
without a magnifier or for distinct copier reproduction. To the naked eye,
the printing appears like another line.

The two new features deter amateur counterfeiters from an easy “crime-of-
opportunity”–copying a few bogus bills during the day to pass at night.
Dedicated and experienced counterfeiters will be frustrated by the
difficult, costly, and time-consuming task of producing notes with a
genuine-looking security thread or distinct microprinting.

GET ACQUAINTED WITH YOUR MONEY
——————————
Take the time to get acquainted with your money. Existing security features
are easy to see once you know what to look for. The two new design features
were selected for easy recognition and use as well as their counterfeit
deterrent qualities.

Look for differences, not similarities. Compare a suspect note with a
genuine note of the same denomination and series, paying attention to the
quality of printing and to the paper’s characteristics. Genuine money is
made by the Bureau of Engraving and Printing’s master craftsmen using steel
engravings and advanced printing equipment to produce a finely engraved and
superior note on special, durable paper.

With your interest and cooperation and the aid of local police departments
and the United States Secret Service, counterfeiting can be kept under
control. The U.S. government will also continue to anticipate threats to
the security of the nation’s currency and develop appropriate design
deterrents.

**************************************************************************

0