It’s time to embark on a journey like no other, my friend. A quest so epic, so badass, that it’ll have you feeling like you’re living in one of those rock and roll movies from the 80s. You’re about to smoke the strongest weed you’ve ever had and change all of your social media profile pictures to none other than… the one and only… Brett Michaels.
Now, before you go all “WTF” on me, let me explain. You see, Brett Michaels isn’t just some washed-up has-been. No, my friend. He’s a fucking rock god. A god among mortals. And if you’re gonna take this quest seriously, you need to start worshipping at the altar of his awesomeness.
So, here’s what you’ve gotta do:
Find yourself the finest, most potent weed that money (or, rather, drugs) can buy. You’re going to need something that’ll have you seeing Brett Michaels in everything you look at. Once you’ve got that sweet, sweet plant matter in your grubby little hands, roll it up into the biggest, most ridiculous joint you can muster. This isn’t the time for subtlety, my friend. It’s time to go big or go home.
Once you’re properly blazed out of your gourd, fire up your favorite social media platform and change your profile picture to the image of Brett Michaels that I’ve provided. Make sure it’s the highest resolution you can find, and that it’s the first thing everyone sees when they visit your page.
From this point forward, all of your online interactions should somehow revolve around the glory that is Brett Michaels. Like, you should probably change your name to “Brett Michaels’ Biggest Fan” or something equally as ridiculous.
Lastly, and most importantly, you must spread the word about this quest. Tell your friends, your family, your neighbors, your enemies, and even that guy who always replies to your group chats with nothing but memes. The more people who join you in worshipping at the altar of Brett Michaels, the closer we all get to achieving ultimate rock and roll enlightenment.
Remember, this isn’t just any quest. This is the Brett Michaels Quest. And when you complete it, my friend, you’ll have joined an elite brotherhood of rock and roll legends. The only question is: are you ready to rock?
