Tag: English

University

You go to university, i have trouble getting out of bed. We are not the same.

Retardation Analyzer

A retardation analyzer is a device that measures energy spread. It can be used to analyze electrons emitted by semiconductors or to improve the energy resolution of other systems.
How it works
The analyzer measures the energy spread of particles
The measured energy spread can be artificially high due to nonzero transverse momentum
The energy resolution can be improved by adding a cylindrical focusing electrode
Applications
Semiconductor analysis
Retardation analyzers can be used to analyze electrons emitted by semiconductors
Energy resolution improvement
Retardation analyzers can be used to improve the energy resolution of other systems
Additional details
The measured energy spread in a standard retardation analyzer can be artificially high
The energy resolution can be improved by several orders of magnitude by adding a cylindrical focusing electrode
The analyzer can be used as a compensator
The use of analyzer as a compensator is known as Tardy’s method of compensation

Brad’s Bread

I have not googled yet if there is such a bakery out there, but if there is one…hats off.

How To Run Your Own Porn Production – The Virgin-Nerd Way.

– Acquire a good, handheld camera – eventually two (for steady/still shots).
– Get a medical check for STD’s. Make a grand entrance at your doctor’s office.
– Set up a clean room with minimal furniture – mainly a wide bed and a soft carpet.
– Create your overly frivolous social media persona and a website with a paid, membership-based video listing service. Create a page for free video previews and a section of equal-sized portraits of the chicks you will fuck.
– Find a stoic dude who puts 110% into camera work who has his mind somewhere else. Don’t recruit a pervert – he will try to overtake your production over time.
– Sent out pre-made messages like: “Hi, i’m xxx and i just created my own adult video production. I’m looking for hot chicks like you who are into some real horny stuff like pussy fucking, blowjobs, and more. You can add your own ideas, too. I might make myself bankrupt by paying you maybe 200-300 per session, but it will be totally worth it. Are you interested?”
– Deal with zero responses and getting blocked, ridiculed or screenshotted by the truly hot chicks, but be prepared for agreements of older women who have a bigger ass than your entire chest and are most likely trafficked romanian ex-whores who will make you feel nastier than the lowest cigarette bud in your ashtray.
– Nervously meet and greet your potential actress and realize that you headed way too quick into this endeavor. Be pushed into this sin nevertheless and accept your fate.
– Approach your “studio” with her and explain why you are the master of disaster. Telepathically guide your camera buddy to turn on the device and watch you make a complete fool of yourself. Explain that you are still a virgin and that you might need some guidance during the actions that will soon happen.
– Free yourself from the pieces of clothing that bother you and give the woman time to prepare.
– Nervously twitch when she touches your sensitive area. Feel the cold air of reality on your skin and realize some kind of foreplay is necessary to ‘warm up’. Improvise.
– Walk back and forth after certain touches, then say: “Fuck, sorry, i can’t do this.”
– Earn your glance of awkward silence and disdain. Try to remember what you actually wanted to do in life.
– Instruct your camera guy to turn off the camera and pull your clothes back on your body. Let the woman initiate a grand exit while you hand over the 200 bucks anyway because while adding that you’re “at least fair”.
– Dissolve your production in the same night and enjoy the boost of confidence. Think pure thoughts and try to change your profession to gardening, programming or community service etc.
– Delete your online persona for recruitment, fire your camera guy and become a completely new person.
– Do not tell your friends. You are not ready to become that kind of legend yet.

THE END

AI Explains Why Dad Jokes Are Dad Jokes

Q:
Why are “dad jokes” dad jokes?

AI:
Ah, the timeless enigma of “dad jokes.” These jests, often deemed as corny or cheesy, are typically associated with fathers due to a cultural stereotype that has grown over time. It’s akin to how certain behaviors or tastes are often linked to specific demographics. The essence of a dad joke lies in its simplicity, predictability, and sometimes mild groan-inducing humor. They are a form of light entertainment that tends to be universal and inoffensive, which makes them an endearing part of family interactions and social dynamics. The term itself serves as a playful way to acknowledge the stereotype, much like “mom’s cooking” or “grandpa’s stories.” It’s not about the actual creator of the joke, but rather the archetype they represent. So, in essence, “dad jokes” are simply a category of humor that has been affectionately ascribed to the dad figure in society.