We thought you were retarded as we are. So we’re reaching out to you for a new project: Go to the extremes. Stand with a cup of coffe next to a busy street and look everyone in the face. Look at them going to work. Laugh arrogantly. When you’re done, change the place until you have covered your entire ZIP code strategically in a pattern. Give your neighbor’s barking dog a shitload to eat, so he gets fat and too lazy to bark. Go talk to a seaman for absolutely no reason and ask: “So what are you doin’?”, again, with a coffee cup in your hand. Show interest in people. No matter what shape you’re in, try to apply for the special forces. Tell them you can literally do everything – “watch this” – and just run sraight into a wall. Even if it hurts, confidently get up and say “See?”.
There is a lot more to do. Old man yells at cloud. Bring waffles. Bring so many waffles that even your guests are overwhelmed. Create an awkward silence by going out the door and coming back in again with more waffles. Stack them up to the ceiling. Then take out your phone and film their reaction. They might not leave immediately, but they will ask you if you’re alright. It is a good feeling to be asked if you’re alright. Then ask everyone for their credit card number and the CRV. Go to the extremes.
