{"id":20725,"date":"2023-07-07T14:20:57","date_gmt":"2023-07-07T12:20:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.graviton.at\/letterswaplibrary\/im-a-professional-ant-eater\/"},"modified":"2023-07-07T14:20:57","modified_gmt":"2023-07-07T12:20:57","slug":"im-a-professional-ant-eater","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.graviton.at\/letterswaplibrary\/im-a-professional-ant-eater\/","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;m A Professional Ant Eater."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href='https:\/\/www.graviton.at\/letterswaplibrary\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/3y209bf.jpg'><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.graviton.at\/letterswaplibrary\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/3y209bf-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>First, i don&#8217;t stick my nose into anyone&#8217;s business, except for the one of ants.<br \/>\nI am the great, slow-moving Ant Eater. I am a creature that has been evolutionarily crafted especially for eating ants. My whole head, face and tongue was made to stuck those little ants right out of their nest and i am really proud of it. That is basically what makes me me. <\/p>\n<p>Ants to me are like a bag of potato chips to you, especially when you dig through the crumbs at the bottom. I just can&#8217;t stop. Although your diets are much different than mine, i don&#8217;t find ants disgusting at all. I mean, do you find your chips disgusting? .. that type of thing. My morning routine is pretty average; i take a shit and then i stroll through the local plane to find some nice, crispy ants. It usually doesn&#8217;t matter what type of ants i want. It&#8217;s like walking on your street (or square) of choice and getting this time some lemon ice cream from the stand. <\/p>\n<p>I am aware that i can come off as a weird creature because not many understand my place in nature. On top of that, my whole body is basically built from ant protein, which might be a disgusting thought to you. I can grow into a big ass mammal. It&#8217;s okay for you to not touch me. But i don&#8217;t care too much about it. I&#8217;m usually a chilled and laid-back Ant Eater, but some people accuse me of having a long face or assume that at the first glance, but it is not like that at all. Many great Ant Eaters before me did similar thing to what i did but they ate even bigger ants. Ants used to be much bigger and juicier back in the day, but now they&#8217;re almost nothing. They said that eating too many ants will make us fat and lazy, so the big ants had more time to escape.<\/p>\n<p>My IQ surpasses a single digit. My friends call me &#8220;The Slinger&#8221; because i can sling single ants from a great distance. I like literature and macabre arts. I can detect ants with my eyes. I have eaten a multitude of ant nests throughout my career. Sex with my wife is usually not very interesting. My favorite music is Mozart. I get really freaky when i feel pain.  I think that is all you really need to know about me. Continued foraging shall resume tomorrow- Ciao- your Ant Eater.<\/p>\n<p>===== ADVERTISEMENT ======<br \/>\nA N T S P E E D<br \/>\n\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/<br \/>\nDo you have ants in your home&#8230;.? Call 09900-00010 and an AntEater will finish them off. The Anteater is efficient and you will do him a favor. Spectate the AntEater eating your ants. No trouble with ants anymore. Who doesn&#8217;t want their ants eaten by an Ant Eater?<br \/>\n\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/<br \/>\n==============================<\/p>\n<div class='watch-action'><div class='watch-position align-right'><div class='action-like'><a class='lbg-style1 like-20725 jlk' href='javascript:void(0)' data-task='like' data-post_id='20725' data-nonce='65e0e39b87' rel='nofollow'><img class='wti-pixel' src='https:\/\/www.graviton.at\/letterswaplibrary\/wp-content\/plugins\/wti-like-post\/images\/pixel.gif' title='Like' \/><span class='lc-20725 lc'>+1<\/span><\/a><\/div><\/div> <div class='status-20725 status align-right'><\/div><\/div><div class='wti-clear'><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>First, i don&#8217;t stick my nose into anyone&#8217;s business, except for the one of ants. I am&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[27],"class_list":["post-20725","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-othernonsense","tag-english","wpcat-7-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.graviton.at\/letterswaplibrary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20725","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.graviton.at\/letterswaplibrary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.graviton.at\/letterswaplibrary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.graviton.at\/letterswaplibrary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.graviton.at\/letterswaplibrary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20725"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.graviton.at\/letterswaplibrary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20725\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20726,"href":"https:\/\/www.graviton.at\/letterswaplibrary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20725\/revisions\/20726"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.graviton.at\/letterswaplibrary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20725"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.graviton.at\/letterswaplibrary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20725"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.graviton.at\/letterswaplibrary\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20725"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}