Newsgroups: alt.quotations
\nFrom: noel@reg.triumf.ca (NOEL GIFFIN)
\nSubject: Malapropes, mixed metaphor, Spoonerisms, etc
\nDate: 1 Feb 1993 19:11 PST
\nOrganization: TRIUMF: Tri-University Meson Facility
\nMessage-ID:
\nKeywords: malapropes, mixed metaphor, spoonerism
\nLines: 211<\/p>\n
Well I have been collecting these screwed up expressions for a number of years
\nnow and it has become an interesting list. They are all uttered by one of my
\nco-workers. He has achieved legend status within our group and it has become
\na game to pick up on the next fractured phrase. They are all malapropes, mixed
\nmetaphor, spoonerisms or some twist of this kind. I think he is an unconscious
\ngenious. We catch ourselves uttering our own now and don’t know whether they
\nare a universal plague on the language or he has affected only his immediate
\nsurroundings. There have been lot’s we’ve missed I’m sure, but here is a short
\nlist of his best one’s. They are in no order except a loose chronological
\none. I have placed translations beside them to lend some aid in understanding
\nwhen taken out of context. <\/p>\n
\tI post them here for your enjoyment.<\/p>\n
\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tNoel@reg.triumf.ca<\/p>\n
================================================================================
\n T. P. MOSKVEN’S “SEMITICS”
\n================================================================================
\n MOSKVENESE | ENGLISH
\n (What he said) | What he meant
\n——————————————————————————–
\n MOVIE MONGUL | MOVIE MOGUL
\n——————————————————————————–
\n THE SITCOM SATELLITE | SATCOM SATELLITE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n GETTING SEDIMENTARY | SEDENTARY
\n——————————————————————————–
\n OBNOXIOUS GAS | NOXIOUS GAS
\n——————————————————————————–
\n GROPER | GROUPER (fish)
\n——————————————————————————–
\n ART DECOR | ART DECO
\n——————————————————————————–
\n THE “CLOVERLEAF” IS THE | “SHAMROCK”\/ “POTATOE”
\n VEGETABLE OF IRELAND | SYMBOL\/ STAPLE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n SHEET METAL MUSIC | SHEET MUSIC \/
\n | HEAVY METAL MUSIC
\n——————————————————————————–
\n JACOB’S SHIRT OF MANY COLOURS | JOSEPH’S COAT …
\n——————————————————————————–
\n MALAMUTT | MALAMUTE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n OLD GIZZARDS | BUZZARDS\/GEEZERS
\n——————————————————————————–
\n THE MOVIE “REAR VIEW MIRROR” | HITCHCOCK’S “REAR WINDOW”
\n——————————————————————————–
\n A SESAME SEED PHONE | SESAME STREET PHONE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n 3 OF 1, 2 OF THE OTHER | 6 OF 1, HALF A DOZEN…
\n——————————————————————————–
\n DEAD MAN’S SPACE | NO MAN’S LAND
\n——————————————————————————–
\n ARMCHAIR CASE | BASKET CASE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n OUT OF MIND, OUT OF SIGHT | OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND
\n——————————————————————————–
\n KLUTZOMANIAC | AN INEPT PERSON
\n——————————————————————————–
\n THE “PIAF” SEWING MACHINE | A “PFAFF” or a “SINGER”
\n——————————————————————————–
\n COMMUTING WITH NATURE | COMMUNING WITH NATURE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n POPULAR TREE | POPLAR TREE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n LAUGHING AT THE BANK | LAUGHING ALL THE WAY TO THE …
\n——————————————————————————–
\n THE BATTLE OF RUNAMOCK | THE BATTLE OF TIPPACANOE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n HE’S GOT IT DOWN PITTER PAT | GOT IT DOWN PAT
\n——————————————————————————–
\n HITCH-HIKING IN EUROPE IS RISQUE | RISKY
\n——————————————————————————–
\n THAT’S A HAIRBALL IDEA | HAIRBRAINED IDEA
\n——————————————————————————–
\n NORWEDISH | SWEDIEGIAN (Scandanavian)
\n——————————————————————————–
\n HE SMOKES LIKE A FISH | …LIKE A CHIMNEY \/ DRINKS LIKE …
\n——————————————————————————–
\n THAT JUST GOES WITHOUT REASON | GOES WITHOUT SAYING
\n——————————————————————————–
\n HE WOULDN’T GIVE YOU THE | …. THE TIME OF DAY
\n LIGHT OF DAY |
\n——————————————————————————–
\n MY JACKET FITS LIKE A MATCH | IT FITS LIKE A GLOVE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n YOU BUY WHAT YOU PAY FOR | YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR
\n——————————————————————————–
\n YOU BUY WHAT YOU GET | ” ” ” ”
\n——————————————————————————–
\n WHATEVER GRINDS YOUR CRANK | WHATEVER TURNS YOUR CRANK
\n——————————————————————————–
\n COUNT PEOPLE WITH A TURNBUCKLE | A TURNSTYLE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n USING AN ANTIDEODERANT | AN ANTIPERSPIRANT
\n——————————————————————————–
\n ROUGHRIDERS IN THE SKY | THE SONG, “GHOST RIDERS …”
\n——————————————————————————–
\n GARNISH HIS WAGES | GARNISHEE HIS WAGES
\n——————————————————————————–
\n PUT THE FLOOR TO THE METAL \/ | PUT THE PEDAL TO THE METAL
\n PUT THE METAL TO THE PEDAL | ” ” ” ” ” ”
\n——————————————————————————–
\n I’LL FIX HIS SHORTS | FIX HIS WAGON
\n——————————————————————————–
\n THAT BEATS THE CAKE | THAT TAKES THE CAKE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n GOSSIPING BITTERSNIPE | GUTTERSNIPE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n APROXAMINUS ONE OR TWO | PLUS OR MINUS ONE OR TWO
\n——————————————————————————–
\n A BURJELEAUX | A BURGUNDY,BEAUJELAIS,BORDEAUX
\n——————————————————————————–
\n SOMEONE WITH A DARK VOICE | A DEEP VOICE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n DON’T KNOCK TILL YOU TRY IT | DON’T KNOCK IT TILL YOU TRY IT!
\n——————————————————————————–
\n A WHOLE RIFF-RAFF OF STUFF | A WHOLE RAFT OF THINGS
\n——————————————————————————–
\n A BRANDY SNIFFER | A BRANDY SNIFTER
\n——————————————————————————–
\n THE COLONEL BOOGIE MARCH | THE COLONEL BOGEY MARCH
\n——————————————————————————–
\n THAT’S A REAL PILE OF CROCK | THAT’S A CROCK OF ….
\n——————————————————————————–
\n HYDROGLYPHICS | HYRAGLYPHICS
\n——————————————————————————–
\n EATING WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL | SPEAKING WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL
\n——————————————————————————–
\n IT’S AN ACQUIRED SMELL | AN AQUIRED TASTE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n LIKE AN OFFSIDE CARTOON | LARSON’S FARSIDE CARTOONS
\n——————————————————————————–
\n DON’T RUFFLE THE BOAT | DON’T ROCK THE BOAT \/
\n | RUFFLE HIS FEATHERS
\n——————————————————————————–
\n NO USE BEATING DEAD WOOD | NO USE BEATING A DEAD HORSE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n THROW IN THE HAT | THROW IN THE TOWEL \/
\n | THROW YOUR HAT IN THE RING
\n——————————————————————————–
\n RIDING MISS DAISY | DRIVING MISS DAISY (x-rated?)
\n——————————————————————————–
\n CUTTING OUT THE DRIFTWOOD | CUTTING OUT THE DEADWOOD
\n——————————————————————————–
\n FEELING A LITTLE SPERKY THIS MORNING | FEELING PERKY, SPUNKY
\n——————————————————————————–
\n THE MOVIE “TWO LEFT FEET” | “MY LEFT FOOT”
\n——————————————————————————–
\n SHORT MAN ON A TOTEM POLE | LOW MAN ON A TOTEM POLE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n THE CLUB SCOUTS OF AMERICA | CUB SCOUTS\/ BOYS CLUB…
\n——————————————————————————–
\n THE GOVERNMENT WILL QUAKE IN | … CAVE IN (LANDSLIDE?)
\n——————————————————————————–
\n KARRAMESH | MARRAKESH
\n——————————————————————————–
\n TRYING TO BLAME THE FINGER AT ME | POINT THE FINGER \/ PUT THE BLAME
\n——————————————————————————–
\n I’LL SEE IT WHEN I BELIEVE IT! | SEEING IS BELIEVING\/
\n | I’LL BELIEVE IT WHEN I SEE IT
\n——————————————————————————–
\n THE MAN FROM WINDY RIVER | THE MAN FROM SNOWY RIVER
\n——————————————————————————–
\n SNORING LIKE A TROOPER | SWEARING LIKE A TROOPER
\n——————————————————————————–
\n STUFF IT UP YOUR OVERCOAT | BUTTON UP YOUR OVERCOAT
\n——————————————————————————–
\n THE ODDEST BALL PEOPLE | ODDBALL PEOPLE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n IT WAS RIVETED WITH HOLES | RIDDLED WITH HOLES
\n——————————————————————————–
\n WORST WEATHER ON RECORDED RECORD | WORST ON RECORD
\n——————————————————————————–
\n HE’S GOT HIS FINGER ON THE THUMB | HIS FINGER ON THE PULSE OF IT\/
\n OF IT | UNDER HIS THUMB
\n——————————————————————————–
\n PLAYING “BEGIN THE BENIGN” | THE SONG “BEGIN THE BEGUINE”
\n——————————————————————————–
\n STUDYING THE WRITINGS OF PLUTO | THE WRITINGS OF PLATO
\n——————————————————————————–
\n YOUR BARKING UP A DEAD TREE | BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE
\n——————————————————————————–
\n PEOPLE WITHOUT LEFT HANDS DON’T | LEFT HANDED PEOPLE DON’T LIVE
\n LIVE AS LONG! | LIVE AS LONG
\n——————————————————————————–
\n YOU CAN LOOK AT A GLANCE THAT | TELL AT A GLANCE THINGS AREN’T
\n THINGS AREN’T RIGHT. |
\n——————————————————————————–
\n MY STEREO SPEAKERS HAVE A | A CROSS OVER NETWORK
\n PASSOVER NETWORK |
\n——————————————————————————–
\n SOLDIERS ARMED TO THE CORE | A ARMY CORPS ARMED TO THE TEETH
\n——————————————————————————–
\n GOING AT IT LIKE BEAVERS | GOING AT IT LIKE RABBITS
\n——————————————————————————–
\n PUT YOUR AXE TO THE GRINDSTONE | NOSE TO THE GRINDSTONE \/
\n | HAVE AN AXE TO GRIND
\n——————————————————————————–
\n HE WAS HOT AS A TOAD | HOT AS A FIRECRACKER \/
\n | COLD AS A FISH \/
\n | COOL AS A CUCUMBER
\n——————————————————————————–
\n YOU CAN’T CHANGE AN OLD HORSE | YOU CAN’T TEACH AN OLD DOG …
\n——————————————————————————–
\n THE EXTENSION OF THE DINOSAURS | EXTINCTION OF THE DINOSAURS
\n——————————————————————————–
\n MONEY IS NO EXPENSE | MONEY IS NO OBJECT
\n——————————————————————————–<\/p>\n
