[Never finished, was posted early by an overzelus follower]<\/p>\n
The following text is the work of very insane people that
\ndecided to be very annoying to some people in a nice and
\nlarge computer cluster. Please ignore all attempts by the
\npeople in the cluster who wish to beat the authors of this
\nhere text and all bloodstains that may be spotted on any
\nprinted documents of this text –that is if you can find it
\nafter the people who are not amused about the authors writing
\nthis do.<\/p>\n
Sit back, and enjoy.<\/p>\n
TTTTT his is the story of Spam. The authors of this
\n T program wish to make it perfectly clear that this
\n T file is meant to be absolutely harmless to most and
\n T specific individuals. However, this file in its
\n T previous forms has been known to cause serious side
\n effects to the people who happened to pick up this
\n document that was lying on some coffee table in the
\n middle of nowhere. All of the side effects are not
\n known at this point as half of the population that
\n actually experienced these side effects would not
\n possibly dream to actually admit to these side
\n effects. Some of the side effects that actually
\n been reported are as follows:<\/p>\n
~ Serious Addictions and cravings to demented sodas such as
\n Mello Yello and Moxie. We, of the Church of Spam, can
\n completely understand this cravings but we cannot be
\n responsible for any illegal trades for these substances such
\n as siblings and Kmarts.<\/p>\n
~ Answering the phone “Yellow?”<\/p>\n
~ Prasing other lifeforms and the start of a major movements
\n that are meant for the preservation of rare and endangered
\n life forms such as cows.<\/p>\n
~ Going on demented rampages throughout the neighborhood
\n paintballing cats.<\/p>\n
~ We are not going to mention any more side effects, as we
\n actually WANT YOU TO READ THIS AND SUFFER THE
\n CONSEQUENCES!!!!<\/p>\n
[…we apologize for our last typer as he had drunk too much
\n mello yello before he got this. He has been severely
\n flogged and dragged out and pseudo-shot. Again, we
\n apologize for the interruption…]<\/p>\n
HAIL Gavin!<\/p>\n
Gavin “S.F.A.” Healy, the previous Head Pope of Spam, has
\n been promoted to god-status within the parameters of the
\n known universe and now walks the earth with his never-ending
\n curls of hair that still give him the Nat-X look that he is
\n and always will be famous for. He is known for the tan
\n and brown sweater that he always has donned ever since the
\n beginning of time when all there was was Gavin, Arjaii, and
\n Spam.<\/p>\n
Arjaii, also known as Raphael Dareau and other various
\nnames that he is called by his girlfriend and his anti-
\ngirlfriend. He can be easily identified by his tall and
\nnormal heights and always carries a mysterious blue backpack
\nthat he calls “Ton O’ Fun”. No one really knows what he
\ncarries in there except for the “Avant Cow” hat and another
\nhat that no one has ever seen him wear yet. He has also been
\nknown to paintball cats within his local neighborhood and
\ncause some anti-peaceful activities. Other than the unknown,
\nArjaii carries copies of his programs that he is proud to
\ncall his own (although some people are quite mystified about
\nwhy<\/p>\n
