Exported from SPITFIRE Bulletin Board System on 09-07-91 at 13:12:15!
\nDATE….. : 09-07-91 13:07:12
\nTO……. : All Users
\nFROM….. : Raphael Dareau
\nSUBJECT.. : .<\/p>\n
The Story Of Spam<\/p>\n
The story of Spam as remembered from a time not so long ago….<\/p>\n
One day in a Multi-Player game called Avatar, Laecretius, a fine and
\npowerful sorcerer, was running one of the lower levels of the game and
\nroasting and toasting monsters like all fine young sorcerers do. Then he
\nran into Ninja – which instantly trashed Laecretius. But before dying,
\nhe yelled “Oh SPAM!”, and fell to the floor. The other players of the
\ngame heard his cry. Although they were surprised, but yet quick to
\nadapt, the other people in the game instantly caught on to the theory and
\nthe ideas of Spam. Spam began to spread by word of mouth as “Wand Of
\nSpam”, “Helm Of Spam”, “The Spam Lord hits you critically for 1 damage.”
\nand this went on for several hours for that day before everyone turned
\noff their E-messages (Everybody Messages) and that ended that for the
\nday. However, they kept on going via Avatar and several notesfiles.
\nEven the great Felixmeister heard about SPAM.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, the great Felixmeister zapped Avatar and put in a “new
\nand improved” version of the game. All the characters as we knew them
\ndied. However, the legend of Spam did not die off. It spread by the
\nword of the famous words of Raphael Dareau, Crunch, AIESHA, Merlin,
\nHAMMERCROM, Irongrond, Beth, and the others are just insignifigant
\npeople. Pretty soon the entire game of Avatar seperated into factions:
\nThe Spam, The Neutral Luncheon Meat, and The Anti-Spam. Consisting of
\nthe Anti-Spam were jude\/mainei and The Lipless One, who uttered from his
\nnon-existant lips, “No Warlock Shall Eat Spam.” Pretty soon, things got
\npretty hostile on the New-Avatar and people soon got into the habit of
\nturning off their E-messages every time they enetered the game. Pretty
\nsoon the worlds of =purgatory and =spam was filled with the infamous
\nluncheon meat. Then =pad, the most famous notesfile in existance, filled
\nup with Spam. Merlin kept throwing it at regular intervals at the
\nFelixmeister and they became very obtrusive to the general public.
\nPretty soon Spam brought about the quotings of texts such as “The
\nHitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy” within =pad, and people started to make
\ndeath threats and went as far as offering their high power sign-ons to
\nthe Slingers Of The Spam.<\/p>\n
However, this was all temporary, as the Debmeister swooped down from
\nher own universe and sucked the NovaNET ports from existance in Bangor,
\nMaine and therefore caused a chain reaction that caused the eventual
\ncollapse of the universe of Bangor. However, this was not the end of the
\nLegend of Spam. Crunch “The Gold Is In Your Ear, And It Won’t Melt In
\nYour Hand” got together with Raphael Dareau and Merlin and began to
\nspread Spam on the local BBS’s. Spam had by now evolved from a simple
\nWand Of Spam to catchy phrases such as “Eat your spam, little boy.” and
\neventually brought about “Eat your TriTel, little boy.”, but that is
\nanother story.<\/p>\n
Pretty soon Balzac came into the picture and was absorbed by the
\nJelly of The Slinging Of The Spams. Then the Electra Byte BBS popped
\ninto existance — and encouraged the spreading of the Spam. Many people,
\nlike in Avatar, turned off the people who continually preached about
\nSpam, but that did not stop the Spam. Many people began to make aliases
\nlike SpamMan and more catchy phrases such as “It is Raph, the Spam Man
\nwith all the answers” popped into existance.<\/p>\n
The EB crashed and brought about the existance of a local BBS where
\nSpam is slung freshly every night. Many local people have spread the
\nlegend of Spam.<\/p>\n
However, our story doesn’t end here. The last entry in the Legend Of
\nSpam is that Merlin cooked Spam at midnight and woke up his mother from
\nher sweet beauty sleep with its odor. However, as Raphael Dareau,
\nCrunch, and Merlin go through other computer networks, you are certain
\nthat Spam will follow them.<\/p>\n
THE END<\/p>\n
