SNUFF IT<\/p>\n
The Quarterly Magazine of the Church of Euthanasia<\/p>\n
ISSUE #2<\/p>\n
LETTERS<\/p>\n
Thank you Church dudes and dudettes for the Snuff It. Very nice looking and
\nsolid publication. Just one thing, eliminate your DADA or any “art-fag”
\nreferences and you will be ten times scarier. I don’t remember if I sent you a
\ncopy of FUCK but I am sending along a copy of #6. Keep up the splendid work.<\/p>\n
Yours truly,<\/p>\n
Randall Phillips
\nBox 2217, Philadelphia, PA 19103<\/p>\n
This Randall Phillips guy turns out to be quite a character. He’s an Aryan
\nSocial Darwinist with a ghoulish sense of humor, and his magazine succeeded in
\nshocking us. He favors mass murder and eugenics as population control.
\nUnfortunately the Church of Euthanasia is opposed to involuntary methods, so we
\ncan’t endorse him. This is too bad, because when he’s not advocating torture,
\nslavery, genocide, rape, racism, and cruelty to animals, he’s got a lot of
\nthings right. We especially liked the following excerpt:<\/p>\n
I had a jar of pond water that I was to take samples of and look at under a
\nmicroscope. The first time I looked at the pond water I saw the microscopic
\naliens dancing around and having a good time. Each day that I looked at the
\nmicroscopic aliens there started to be more of them. On the 4th day I noticed
\nthat the water was getting darker. The cause of the darkness was an
\naccumulation of more microscopic aliens, their shit and their waste. The
\nmicroscopic aliens weren’t partying as hard, but they were still going at it.
\nBy the 7th day the water was very dark. I looked under the microscope and all
\nI saw was microscopic waste. There were a few tiny aliens left gnawing on the
\nremains of the other microscopic dead aliens. Forty years from now the earth
\nis going to look like my jar of pond water on the seventh day, unless we do
\nsomething about it.<\/p>\n
Dear Chrissy,<\/p>\n
I loved your paper and please enter me a subscription. I enclose my check.
\nI also am enclosing my picture to you. I have fairly nice C cup tits. I’ve
\ntaken hormones for a while.
\n I loved your picture under the quote from Deuteronomy. The old testament
\nis little more than scare tactics to keep the tribes of Israel replenished with
\nsoldiers and warriors to fight other tribes.
\n The way I see it is we have these three different groups in the U.S.A. and
\nLatin America in a birth race. First, are the Catholics mainly in Central
\nAmerica, the Mormons in Utah and Idaho and the niggers [sic] who are being
\nsubsidized by the government to have more voters who will vote in more social
\nprograms.
\n The Government is broke, the large banks are buying government T-bills,
\nTreasury notes with fingers crossed. No one has the balls to say subsidies are
\nno longer, so we pretend and pay the interest on these securities. The major
\nbanks would rather buy these government notes than pump money into private
\nenterprise.
\n This revolution which will make Rwanda look like a Sunday school picnic
\nwill start when the welfare recipients no longer get their “check.”
\n Believe me I rent to low income people, college students and without
\nstudent loans and government largesse, there would be revolution. Probably
\nstarting on the East Coast, the Western states will try to break away. There
\nwill be chaos and anarchy. The government knows this hence the assault on hand
\nguns.
\n Of course, I’ve been doing my part to keep the population down. Valerie,
\nmy girlfriend who is a dyke who hates men, and myself have been castrating
\nyoung men of breeding age. We only have two notches so far. We’re using an
\nelasterator. A device that fits nicely over the scrotum of a calve or lamb.
\nIt works well on humans too. Our first victim was drunk. The device puts a
\nstrong rubber band over the scrotum, cuts off the blood supply, gangrene sets
\nin, and in about two weeks the sac falls off and creates a eunuch.
\n The first two minutes there is pain, but after that the balls turn blue and
\nin 4 hours – 6 hours, gangrene is present and they don’t dare remove it.
\n Our first victim slept through the whole thing so it couldn’t have been
\nthat bad. He rushed himself to the emergency room and they castrated him on
\nthe spot.
\n The second victim we met in the forest, hand-cuffed him to a tree, and he
\nhowled, screamed. In Idaho there are thousands of acres of virgin forest. We
\nleft a note for the forest rangers giving his location. This did not make the
\npapers so it is still under investigation. In both cases we got the victim’s
\naddress from his driver’s license and sent him a tauntingly sympathetic card
\n(so don’t mention this).
\n I wish I could sterilize 10% of the young men of breeding age and turn them
\nloose on the fertile women like sterile fruit flies.
\n It’s the duty of every drag queen, T.S., T.V. and crossdresser to get a
\nstraight boyfriend and keep him away from girls of breeding age.
\n Picking up men in gay bars doesn’t do it. We should pick up men in
\nstraight bars. Gays fraternizing with gays does nothing to curb the
\npopulation.
\n Anyway you probably think I’m nuts but we will possibly send a picture of
\nour next eunuch before and during his ordeal.
\n I was hopeful AIDS would do its job and in Africa it’s doing O.K. and in
\nThailand but not here.
\n We should take $1000 out of everyone’s subsidy and pay bounties to people
\nwho will become sterile.
\n Anyway, if you’re out here look me up. Valerie has always wanted to be a
\nman and I’ve always wanted to be a woman so we get along good.<\/p>\n
Bob. B.<\/p>\n
Please, remind us to stay the hell away from Idaho! And we thought things were
\ngetting wild down here in Boston. We hate to keep repeating ourselves, but the
\nchurch supports voluntary methods. For you folks out there in the woods, that
\nmeans no going around cutting off people’s balls! You’re quite right about
\ntransgenderism being a good method of population control. The police are your
\nfriends! Go down to the station and introduce yourself.<\/p>\n
Dear Editor,<\/p>\n
Oh how fabulously arsty and shocking! What radical refusal of conventional
\nsocietal constraints! The fact that you still exist is proof of your
\nconceptual bankruptcy. Put your shotgun where your mouth is or shut the fuck
\nup you Somerville BARNIES.<\/p>\n
No offense,<\/p>\n
O. Nenslo, professional art-fag hater<\/p>\n
We sure are getting a lot of strange mail lately. For those of you who aren’t
\nfrom Somerville, “barnie” is a term employed by the local lifers for anyone who
\ndidn’t grow up around here or doesn’t belong. It’s the exact opposite of a
\n“townie.” Townies often have short hair, drive muscle cars or pickup trucks
\nwith Marine Corps stickers, and have gum-chewing girlfriends with big hair and
\nlots of gold jewelry. Students are barnies by definition, as are most artists,
\nmusicians, queers and other free-thinkers. In any case, the fact that you
\nstill exist is proof that you should join the Church. No offense taken.<\/p>\n
Dear Snuff It,<\/p>\n
Firstly, lemmings do not commit mass suicide. This is a hoax apparently
\ncreated by the Walt Disney company during the 1950’s. (I’m not kidding.)
\n This being the case, you need a new mascot. My suggestion is Dr. Edward
\nTeller, “Father of the H-Bomb.” This moron sold Ronald Reagan on the idea of
\nthe space based anti-missile system. What Dr. Teller neglected to do was
\nnotice the obvious: making obsolete one weapon, the Intercontinental Ballistic
\nMissile (ICBM), does not end the economic, social and political forces which
\nlead to large scale organized warfare. The first nuke was delivered by a B-29
\nbomber, which an anti-missile system could not touch. Does Dr. Teller
\nseriously believe that everyone in the world has forgotten to how to drop bombs
\nout of airplanes? Of course not. He just wants to win a large-scale nuclear
\nwar. Unfortunately, once you set fire to 500 major urban areas, you have a
\nnuclear winter and all human life in the northern hemisphere dies.
\n Perhaps Dr. Teller’s motto is “Kill the Planet, Save My Ideology.”<\/p>\n
X.S.Despot
\n2225 Montego Dr., Lansing, MI 48912<\/p>\n
Very good! We like the new motto, it’s catchy. My personal favorite Star Wars
\nstory is the one about Brilliant Pebbles. It turns out the code name was
\ncompletely literal! Good old uncle Ron was going to fill the stratosphere with
\nsmall rocks. It really does a number on the Evil Empire’s satellites.
\nUnfortunately it also makes it impossible to ever launch the space shuttle
\nagain, so NASA finally put a stop to it. Keep us abreast of Dr. Teller’s
\nadventures, though in the meantime we’ll stick with our mascot:<\/p>\n
lemming, rodent related to the mouse. The common or brown lemming (genus
\nLemmus) inhabits arctic regions of both hemispheres. The long fur is brownish,
\ngrayish, or black throughout the year. In Scandinavia particularly, the
\nlemmings undertake mass migrations during periods of overpopulation and food
\nscarcity, swarming over land and through water, deterred by nothing, and eating
\nvegetation on the way. If they reach the sea before the migratory urge
\nsubsides, they swim out until they drown.<\/p>\n
The Illustrated Columbia Encyclopedia, 1935<\/p>\n
Sound somehow vaguely familiar? That’ll be you in ten years. Join the church
\nnow, because later you’ll be too busy drowning.<\/p>\n
Dear Editor,<\/p>\n
Are we being denied the right to die? Why is it so wrong to help another
\nperson end his or her misery?
\n Dr. Jack Kevorkian is referred to as Dr. Death, but he describes his
\nmethods as humane and painless. In Washington state people will be voting on
\nan initiative to legalize suicide in cases where the patient has six months or
\nless to live. If this is passed, Washington will be the first state to
\nlegalize euthanasia. The truth is, having a terminal disease is agony. One
\ncan fight only so long.
\n This is the point. To people who are suffering, Kevorkian is a savior.<\/p>\n
Beth Heyde, Plymouth, MA<\/p>\n
Amen to that, and soon to be Saint Kevorkian! The man is an inspiration to us
\nall. Suicide should be as easy as getting your teeth cleaned, and not just for
\nthe terminally ill. Everyone has the right to die painlessly, whenever they
\nwant. Lobby your Congressman! More money for euthanasia! Why spend it on the
\nmilitary when people need to die right here at home?<\/p>\n
Dear Editor,<\/p>\n
Okay, on all this Ejaculation stuff: Wouldn’t the world simply be a better
\nplace if more men learned to jack off, and did this regularly instead of having
\nsex with women (if I follow your argument)? Therefore, since masturbation is
\nnot procreation, masturbation should be viewed as an heroic act by the Church,
\nshould it not? I hereby declare myself a Hero, then, for masturbating since
\nage 13, and using this as my sexual outlet, rather than going out of my way to
\nhave sex with women for the past 8 years. Actually, perhaps masturbation needs
\na better overall image in society at large. It’s an effective method of
\ncurbing sexual drive, and therefore prevents one from having sex with others
\nwhen done often enough, thusly slowing down the population growth rate, and the
\nspread of communicable diseases. Any spoo that lands outside of a human
\nreproductive system is heroic spoo. More people should therefore partake of
\noral and anal sex exclusively, if they insist upon having a partner.<\/p>\n
Colin S. Reid<\/p>\n
We love it! You’re a hero! Aim for the chin!<\/p>\n
ASK CHRISSY<\/p>\n
A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to man, nor shall a man wear a
\nwoman’s garment; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the lord.
\n(Deuteronomy 22:5)<\/p>\n
Dear Chrissy,<\/p>\n
How can I join the Church of Euthanasia? Do I have to kill myself first? What
\nare the rules?<\/p>\n
-Anxious in Albany<\/p>\n
Dear Anxious,<\/p>\n
Joining the Church is EASY! Just wrap ten dollars in a piece of paper, pop it
\nin an envelope and send it to:<\/p>\n
C.O.E., Box 261, Somerville, MA 02143<\/p>\n
Of course you don’t have to kill yourself! If you really want to, though, wait
\nuntil AFTER you’ve joined the church! That way, you automatically become a
\nsaint, without any additional paperwork. The church has only one commandment,
\nand it is:<\/p>\n
“Thou shalt not procreate.”<\/p>\n
This means NO BREEDING! Procreation is grounds for immediate excommunication.
\nSome related guidelines for good living follow:<\/p>\n
1. Suicide is optional, but encouraged.
\n2. Abortion may be required to avoid procreation.
\n3. Cannibalism is mandatory if you insist on eating flesh.
\n4. Sodomy is optional, but strongly encouraged.<\/p>\n
Note that cannibalism is limited to consumption of those ALREADY DEAD. There
\nis currently no shortage. Killing people for food is strictly prohibited, no
\nmatter how hungry you are. Also note that contrary to popular belief, sodomy
\nis defined as any sexual act not intended for procreation. Fellatio,
\ncunnilingus, and anal sex are all forms of sodomy and are still illegal in many
\nstates. Masturbation may or may not be sodomy; the jury’s still out on that,
\nbut it’s okay with us, especially if you kill yourself while doing it.<\/p>\n
Dear Chrissy,<\/p>\n
I’d like to kill myself, but I’m not sure how. Does it matter which way I do
\nit? Can you come down here and help me with this? Do I have to do everything
\nmyself?<\/p>\n
-Overwhelmed in Orlando<\/p>\n
Dear Overwhelmed,<\/p>\n
Technically speaking, it doesn’t matter how you do it, though some methods are
\nconsiderably more sure, painless, and neat than others. Try to be considerate
\nof your friends and family who will discover you afterwards. They’re STILL
\nfinding bits of Kurt Cobain’s head around the house. Much as I would like to,
\nI can’t actually provide any physical assistance; that remains illegal in both
\nof our states. What I can do is urge you to find a copy of Derek Humphry’s
\nbook Final Exit. He provides a wealth of handy data including contacts and
\ndrug dosages. I’ll summarize some of his most interesting recommendations:<\/p>\n
1. Don’t do anything that will endanger anyone else, including driving into
\non-coming traffic or railway trains, jumping in front of cars, mixing household
\nchemicals to make poison gas, etc.
\n2. Don’t take cyanide unless you’re a chemist. You’ll be very sorry if you
\naccidentally ingest hydrogen cyanide (HCN) instead of potassium cyanide (KCN).
\n3. Never mind what you saw in Coming Home. Injecting yourself with a syringe
\nfull of air is much more likely to cause brain damage and paralysis than death.
\n4. Getting into the bathtub with your hair-dryer might not work. It depends on
\nyour fuses, and worse, someone else might get electrocuted trying to save you.
\n5. Don’t hang yourself without reading Naked Lunch first. It can be quite
\nmessy and disagreeable for whoever has to cut you down. I know it looked easy
\nin Billy Budd, but that was a MOVIE. The British Navy also used very LONG
\nropes to break the neck instantly.
\n6. Drowning has good points, and the colder the water, the faster it goes.
\nAvoid being rescued, and keep in mind that your body might turn up somewhat
\nchewed.
\n7. Freezing is even better, and quite painless. Just head for the mountains
\n(no, this isn’t a beer advertisement) late in the day, get yourself above the
\nfreezing line, and have a seat. Be sure to wear light (or no) clothing, and
\ntake public transport so the Rangers don’t find your car and look for you.
\n8. The official Hemlock Society approved method of “self-deliverance” is a
\ncombination of taking tranquilizers and putting a plastic bag over your head.
\nEven if the dose isn’t lethal, you asphyxiate while you’re snoozing. They even
\nsuggest a trial run! The bag should be big enough so that you start out with
\nsome air and don’t freak out right away. Use rubber bands to make the bag fit
\nsnugly. Apparently it’s easier if you open the bag, put the rubber bands on,
\nand then slide the whole thing onto your head like a hat. Assuming you have
\naccess to tranquilizers, the only tricky part is deciding whether to use a
\nclear or opaque bag. There’s one to ponder…<\/p>\n
THE MEMORY HOLE<\/p>\n
Who controls the past, controls the future.
\nWho controls the present, controls the past.<\/p>\n
-George Orwell, 1984<\/p>\n
If George Orwell were alive today, he would be astounded, but not by the
\nfact that so many of his predictions came true. The fact that there is at
\nleast one television for every person in the United States would not surprise
\nhim, of course. The presence of televisions in airports, rail and bus
\nterminals, and even subway stations would also be expected. The lack of
\ntwo-way interactive television would puzzle him, though he might correctly
\nassume that the technology was being developed. What would really stump him is
\nthe total absence of coercion. “Where are the thought police?” he would ask,
\nconfused. Nothing could possibly prepare Orwell for the enthusiasm with which
\nAmericans embrace Big Brother. Truncheons are rarely required, and sudden
\ndisappearances are almost unheard of. Complete, voluntary conformity to the
\nideals displayed on television is observed. Instead of Double-Think, No-Think.
\nInstead of the Ministry of Truth, a corporate media system. Instead of the
\nParty, a liberal elite who actually believe that they are free. Freedom is
\nAmerican, and Americans are truly free, in a limited sense, free to consume.
\nHuman rights are reduced to freedom of choice. McDonald’s and Burger King,
\nNirvana and Pearl Jam, Democrats and Republicans, the choices are all without
\nmeaning.
\n Why did the Soviet empire fail, while the American empire survives?
\nBecause mind control under freedom is more efficient! There’s no need to waste
\nmoney torturing dissidents. Fears of nakedness and excrement are instilled
\nduring infancy, and are soon followed by strict gender roles. The boys
\npractice competition, aggression, and conquest, while the girls wear dresses
\nand learn to play house with dolls. The schools teach that what is
\nunmeasurable does not exist. Fear of the unknown becomes fear of life, and
\ndeath. The student is encouraged to regard those beneath him with contempt,
\nand those above him with envy; success is measured in terms of winners and
\nlosers. Sophisticated advertising carefully reinforces the desired belief
\nsystem. “The one who dies with the most toys wins,” reads a popular bumper
\nsticker. So long as the flow of merchandise is uninterrupted, law and order
\nprevail. In Orwell’s world, dissent led to Room 101. In America, dissent is
\nmerely ignored, or sold, if it’s popular.
\n One of Orwell’s great maxims was that control of the present enables
\ncontrol of the past, which in turn controls the future. But here there is no
\nneed for armies of bureaucrats revising old newspapers, adapting history to the
\nchanging party line. In America, the present is controlled by reducing the
\nattention span. The invention of television wasn’t enough by itself. It was
\nthe introduction of the hand-held remote that finished the job. Before the
\nseventies, people had to get up from their chairs to change the channel.
\nLaziness was an extremely powerful deterrent. People might watch the same
\nchannel for an hour, or more! In the age of remote control, concentration drops
\nsteadily. The attention span of the average adult now approaches thirty
\nseconds, by coincidence the duration of a typical advertisement. Among
\nteenagers and children, attention spans reach single digits, as they become
\nsynchronized to the pulsating hypnosis of MTV. When the attention span finally
\nreaches zero, there is no past, and no future, only the endless, instantaneous
\ngratification of the present.
\n Ancient military strategy says “divide and conquer.” Where have humans
\nbeen more completely divided than in America? Land once occupied by the same
\ntribes for thousands of years is paved over, to become cities and sprawling
\nsuburbs. How many of the inhabitants will know their neighbors? Citizenship
\nbecomes a series of numbers in computer systems. Deaths and births are
\nrecorded, and taxes paid, by mail. Leaders are selected anonymously, in tiny
\nbooths, from lists of names. How many citizens know their leaders personally,
\nor have even met them? How can a society that never interacts be expected to
\nselect its leaders? Youth is worshipped, and the elders, once the most
\nrespected members of society, are banished to “nursing homes.” They die
\nmiserable deaths of loneliness and boredom, abandoned by their “families.”
\nWisdom cannot survive where there is no one to remember it. In the ultimate
\ntriumph of individualism, even the family is atomized. Single mothers are
\ncommonplace, and children are entrusted to institutions at the earliest
\npossible age. Americans become a nation of orphans, with no allegiance to
\nanything but themselves. Complete alienation makes them ruthless, and thirsty
\nfor power. “Everybody wants to rule the world,” goes the popular song.
\n The fourth Key of the Tarot is Heh, The Emperor. He signifies reason, and
\nsight. In the age of reason, technology eliminates the senses, one by one,
\nleaving only sight, the most detached, impersonal, “objective” sense. Smells
\nare eliminated with deodorants and climate control. Taste and touch turn into
\ncommodities, to be marketed. The universal acceptance of the telephone
\nsubstitutes the disembodied voice for physical presence. The advent of
\ncomputers completes the sterilization: communication is reduced to words on a
\nflickering screen. To avoid misunderstandings, it becomes necessary to
\nintroduce a system for representing sarcasm on computer networks, using
\ncombinations of punctuation known as “smileys.” In the words of computer guru
\nPaul Hoffman, “the Internet offers a great deal of anonymity, but weakens the
\nsocial bond between the people using it.” Welcome to the so-called
\n“cyberfuture.”
\n Orwell’s two-way telescreens become widely available, hooked up through
\ntelephone lines to every imaginable service. Americans no longer have to leave
\ntheir living rooms, let alone their houses. Every conceivable need is
\nsatisfied, at the click of a mouse. Viewers are able to project themselves
\ninto “virtual reality” and interact with their entertainment programming.
\nElaborate games promote a state of permanent masturbation, in which
\nselfishness, domination, and violence have no consequences. For a species
\nwithout a past, there can be no consequences, no sense of responsibility.
\nWithout continuity, and rootedness, the future makes no sense. Without hope,
\nhumans become like a swarm of locusts, scouring the earth from their living
\nrooms, destroying their host. The native Americans taught that the earth does
\nnot belong to man, man belongs to the earth. Their truths die with them, and
\nthe world spins out of balance.<\/p>\n
To the future or to the past, to a time when men are different from one another
\nand do not live alone–to a time when truth exists and what is done cannot be
\nundone: From the age of uniformity, from the age of solitude, from the age of
\nBig Brother…greetings!<\/p>\n
THE WATER OF LIFE<\/p>\n
The following is adapted from the pamphlet “Urine-Therapy: It May Save Your
\nLife.” by Dr. Beatrice Bartnett.<\/p>\n
Urine therapy is a very ancient and drugless form of intrinsic medicine.
\nIts application is so simple that it can be done anywhere and at any time.
\nUrine has been used as a healing agent in practically all civilizations and
\ncultures. It seemingly dies, only to reappear again time after time. Often it
\nis called the Water of Life, Living Water Within or simply Life Elixir. In
\nmany religions it is believed that this water will enhance one’s spiritual
\ngrowth and even give one everlasting life.
\n The kidney’s major function is to balance all the elements in your blood.
\nIt takes all excess amounts of vital substances out of the blood as well as
\nexcess amounts of water. The water and these vital substances then form urine.
\n Urine is filled with vital elements. It is not waste. The liver
\ndetoxifies the blood and excretes the toxins into the colon. The kidneys
\nbalance the blood’s vital substances and water level. In short, urine is
\nsimply filtered blood. It contains in its fresh condition, only those
\nchemicals and compounds of the blood in circulation in each of us.
\n The morning urine is the richest and best urine to drink. This is
\npartially due to the greater level of hormonal secretion that takes place in
\nthe late night hours when the body is totally relaxed and repairing itself.
\n Fortunately, Urine-Therapy is very simple in its application.
\nUrine-Therapy consists of two basic parts: the internal application and the
\nexternal application. Both parts complement each other and are necessary for
\nbest results. There are many different ways of using urine. After the initial
\nexperience one will find his or her own personal way of application. Because
\nurine is produced to one’s needs, only your urine should be taken for internal
\nuse.
\n Now, a good way to undo conditioned behavior with regard to perception of
\nurine is to rinse, gargle and swish with fresh urine. The flavor, consistency,
\nand feeling of the experience will become familiar after a while, and the
\ndisgust to your own rich bodily fluids will be a thing of the past. Rubbing
\nurine into the body (fresh or stale) is also a wonderful way to become
\naccustomed to your living water.
\n If the idea of drinking one’s own water is still a problem, pour a few
\nounces into the morning juice. This solution should be drunk as soon as
\npossible, for urine breaks down very rapidly. Try to graduate from drinking
\nthe dilution to drinking it straight. Some people prefer to take it straight,
\nfollowed by a “chaser” of pure water or some other healthy liquid.
\n Saying “thank you” to your body just before drinking urine will help you to
\nrealize the value of this golden liquid. Your body produced it for you.
\nCelebrate life and put the urine into a beautiful wine glass. After all, it is
\nthe most valuable water on earth.<\/p>\n
1. Drinking. The mid stream of the first morning urine is taken. Begin with
\ntwo-three ounces and increase it to your personal, comfortable level.
\n2. Fasts. Fasts with urine and water are practiced for one or more days.
\nJ.W.Armstrong, a renowned urine therapist from England, lets his patients fast
\nfor up to 45 days. Fasts are only recommend under trained, medical
\nsupervision.
\n3. Enemas. The easiest way to take an enema is with a syringe containing
\ntwo-three ounces of urine. The urine is kept in the colon for as long as
\npossible.
\n4. Gargle. Urine is kept in the mouth 20-30 minutes, or as long as possible,
\nfor gum problems and other lesions of the mouth and tongue.
\n5. Douche. For any vaginal discomfort or cleansing, a solution of Golden Seal
\nand urine will give comfort and healing.
\n6. Eye and ear drops. Any pain, burning and tiredness in the eyes may get
\nrelief with a few drops of urine placed into the eyes. The ears also benefit
\ngreatly if receiving a few urine drops for ear pain and discomfort.
\n7. Urine sniffing. This is the most effective way of treatment for any sinus
\ncongestion and upper respiratory problems.<\/p>\n
External Application:<\/p>\n
1. Rubbings. Urine is massaged into the body. Rubbings are usually done for
\nany kind of skin lesions from a simple rash to eczema and cancer. The rubbings
\nmay last from 20 minutes to one hour in duration.
\n2. Foot Baths. Very effective for athlete’s foot or any skin problem on the
\nfeet.<\/p>\n
The Coldest Air<\/p>\n
A clod of a cock-lover
\nYawns between thrusts
\nPierces a dead-lover
\nBehind the wall of trust<\/p>\n
Bereft of a cross
\nAnd chosen by the slain
\nHe can’t forgive a flesh-less body
\nScavenging for blame
\nThe yawning gulf
\nBetween an orphan and an heir
\nLeaves the stray boys hovering
\nIn the coldest air<\/p>\n
Fear is the ghost
\nA boast between their legs
\nJagged, waving hands
\nReach them from the dregs<\/p>\n
They’re pumping it up in the garden of celibates
\nLove like barley bristling in the heat
\nThen a cold blast of laughter pours from a virgin
\nAnd thick, bulky boys recoil in defeat<\/p>\n
They grope to anoint
\nThe shadow-beast between them
\nBut the coarse meal they share
\nWill never sustain them<\/p>\n
The clod of a cock-lover
\nMutters angrily
\nAs desire exhorts
\nA hidden litany<\/p>\n
He sings before
\nThe augurs of doom
\nAnd cries out for covering
\nWhen mercy leaves the room<\/p>\n
A bull of a man
\nBows to cadavers
\nAnd thinks with a mind
\nBent inward from chatter<\/p>\n
He points his battle-flag
\nAnd his horny tongue
\nIn the direction
\nOf the stiff boys he hung<\/p>\n
Encrusted in raw flesh
\nAnd a ruffian’s hustle
\nLove gathers dust
\nFlexing hopeless muscle<\/p>\n
-Raven Drake<\/p>\n
HATE TO SAY WE TOLD YOU SO, BUT…<\/p>\n
Report sees rising population
\n leading to global food shortage<\/p>\n
WASHINGTON – Massive food shortages will develop over the next 40 years as
\na population explosion outstrips the world’s food supply, researchers reported
\nyesterday.
\n “Science and technology can no longer ensure a better future unless
\npopulation growth slows quickly,” said a report compiled by the environmental
\nresearch institute Worldwatch. “Food supply is the most immediate constraint
\non the Earth’s population carrying capacity.”
\n Projections of current trends indicate the world’s population could expand
\nfrom today’s 5.5 billion [try 5.7 billion. -Ed.] and reach 10 billion to 14
\nbillion by 2050. The biggest increases are expected in some of the poorest
\nareas, such as Africa and southern Asia.
\n Worldwatch’s Full House report, released yesterday, predicted population at
\n8.9 billion by 2030. [more like 8 billion by 2020, but close enough. -Ed.]
\n At that level, the projected yearly grain supply will amount to 528 pounds
\nper person, the report said. That is a quarter of what the average American
\nnow uses and just 20 percent above consumption in India, one of the worlds
\npoorest countries.
\n The UN Population fund, responsible for family planning, unveiled a
\nproposal in April to try to stabilize world population at 7.8 billion by 2050.
\n But food supplies will be too short to feed the world even if that goal is
\nreached, said Lester R. Brown, co-author of the Worldwatch study, which was
\nprepared in anticipation of next month’s UN Population Conference in Cairo.
\nThe institute told of failed attempts to increase rice production and fish
\ncatches – illustrating that new technology cannot be counted on for
\nbreakthroughs.
\n After decades of steady growth, world farm production will no longer be
\nable to keep up with the increasing demand, the study predicted.
\n The Washington-based Institute’s pessimistic forecast on the limits of food
\nsupply is not shared by world farm bodies. [i.e. transnational corporations,
\nbig surprise! -Ed.]
\n Brown dismissed their projections as based only on past trends, and not
\napplicable in the future.
\n They failed to take into account factors such as the loss of cropland to
\nurbanization or reports that increased use of fertilizer no longer brings much
\nmore production, he added.
\n Worldwatch said grain production increased from 631 million tons in 1950 to
\n1.6 billion tons in 1984, or 3 percent a year. Growth in the last decade was
\njust 1 percent a year, and Worldwatch predicted it would continue to slow, with
\nproduction leveling off at 2.1 billion tons in 2030. [The population is
\nincreasing by 1.6 percent a year! Hello? -Ed.]<\/p>\n
-excerpted from AP, August 14<\/p>\n
World’s seas are fished to
\n the limit, study finds<\/p>\n
WASHINGTON – The oceans have been fished nearly to the limits, after
\ndecades of fishermen using bigger boats and more advanced hunting technologies,
\naccording to a report released yesterday.
\n “Although worldwide environmental degradation of the oceans contribute to
\nthe decline of marine life, overfishing is the primary cause of dwindling fish
\npopulations,” said the report, which was issued by the nonprofit Worldwatch
\nInstitute. A 5 percent decline in the worldwide catch since 1989 is due
\nlargely to more people fishing in large-scale, industrial operations, often in
\nwaters that are becoming more polluted, the report said.
\n Meanwhile, world population is growing at 1.6 percent annually, equivalent
\nto the population of Mexico being added to the world each year, the report
\nsaid.
\n “This … has already caused armed confrontations between fishing nations,
\ngunfire between fishers and hunger in the developing world,” said Peter Weber,
\nauthor of the report, “Net Loss: Fish, Jobs and the Marine Environment.”
\n The total catch has shrunk by more than 30 percent in four of the
\nhardest-hit areas – the Pacific’s east-central region and the Atlantic’s
\nnorthwest, west-central and southeast sectors.<\/p>\n
-excerpted from AP, July 24<\/p>\n
2 billion more Third World
\n people predicted by 2030<\/p>\n
WASHINGTON – By the year 2030, the world will have nearly 3 billion more
\npeople than now, [actually 3.6 billion. -Ed.] 2 billion of them in countries
\nwhere the average person earns less than $2 a day, the World Bank predicts in
\nits latest report.
\n It estimates that the global figure will reach 8,474,017,000, compared with
\n5,692,210,000 in 1995.
\n People will live longer, too. The average African baby born today can
\nexpect to live to age 54; one born in 2030 in Africa should have 63 years ahead
\nof it. [Not bloody likely! -Ed.]
\n By 2030, the bank says, Africa will grow from 720 million to 1.6 billion.
\n “Who will feed and house these people?” the bank president, Lewis T.
\nPreston, asked in a statement. The bank is the largest source of aid loans to
\nthe Third World, many of them for houses, schools and public services.<\/p>\n
-excerpted from AP, August 4<\/p>\n
Bullshit! The World Bank spent the last twenty years destroying sustainable
\nagriculture all over the world. Countries that can barely feed themselves are
\nforced to grow export crops and import our manufactured crap in return. The
\n“loans” go straight into the pockets of the local CIA-trained dictators so that
\ngiant corporations can come in and buy up all the land. The “peasants” get
\nkicked off the land they’ve lived on for generations, but that’s okay because
\nthey make good slave labor. American livestock get fat on imported grain while
\nthe “third world” starves. Delicious hamburger! Pass the ketchup! The World
\nBank also arranges for toxic heavy industries to relocate to places where there
\naren’t any environmental laws. Isn’t that nice? Fuck the World Bank! They
\nsuck!<\/p>\n
Senate OK’s $12.5b in funds
\n for schools, antigay plan<\/p>\n
WASHINGTON – The Senate adopted a $12.5 billion school funding bill
\nyesterday, but an antigay provision almost guarantees a continuing debate
\nbefore the legislation becomes law.
\n The Elementary and Secondary Education Act was approved, 94-6, after almost
\nthree days of sometimes contentious debate that saw inclusion of an amendment
\nthat would cut federal funds to school districts that teach acceptance of
\nhomosexuality.
\n “This legislation represents another main part of our efforts in this
\nCongress to improve American education,” Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, chairman of
\nthe Senate Labor and Human Resources Committee, said after the vote.
\n Schools that distribute instructional materials or offer counseling
\nservices portraying homosexuality as an acceptable lifestyle or that refer
\nstudents to gay organizations for counseling could lose their federal funds
\nunder the provision.<\/p>\n
-excerpted from AP, August 3<\/p>\n
This kind of shit makes me sick to my stomach. The population is increasing by
\na million people every four days and these morons want to close down schools
\nthat help queers. People wonder why I support human extinction. We should
\nworship queers! At least they don’t reproduce! Hello? Senator Kennedy? SAVE
\nTHE PLANET! KILL YOURSELF!<\/p>\n
“The Being” sighted on the Boston Common<\/p>\n
In case you weren’t there, September 10 was Population Awareness Day on the
\nBoston Common. A variety of “politically correct” organizations including Zero
\nPopulation Growth, the Seirra Club, Cleanwater Action, and Mass Choice were
\nsitting at tables around the fountain near Park Street quietly minding their
\nown business, when who should show up but the Church of Euthanasia! Rev. Chris
\nKorda led the way in a very nice flower print number, carrying a stick topped
\nby a bloody carnivorous baby. She was followed by a dozen church members,
\nincluding such notables as Noise editor T-Max, clad in black “Save The Planet
\nKill Yourself” T-shirts and swinging smoking incense stenchers. The alien
\nintelligence known only as “The Being” also made a rare appearance for this
\ngala event. It moved quite slowly, apparently unused to Earth’s gravity, and
\nwas shielded from harmful negative energy by a 100 foot long strip of white
\nfabric carried by church members. The organizers stood transfixed in horror as
\nthe group circled the fountain twice, chanting and rolling a giant RU-486 pill.
\nThe group then formed a protective circle around “The Being,” while Rev. Korda
\nand Pastor Scott engaged in a simultaneous reading of population-related facts,
\nincluding “Production of excrement by U.S. human population: 12,000 pounds per
\nsecond! Production of excrement by U.S. livestock: 250,000 pounds per second!”
\nThe crowd reacted with a mixture of confusion and rage, and a climax was
\nreached when the group, in an effort to get their point across, began chanting
\n“Kill the planet! Save yourself!” After an hour or so, the organizers forced
\nPark Ranger Doherty to politely move the Church elsewhere. None of the
\norganizers we interviewed would admit to kicking the church out, though Mark
\nRogers of ZPG was quoted as saying “I was disgusted with it. After some
\ntime…people there asked them leave.”<\/p>\n
INTERVIEW WITH SEBASTIAN<\/p>\n
The following interview was recently conducted by Pastor Scott with Sebastian,
\nan active member of the Church of Euthanasia’s Youth Outreach Program (YOG).<\/p>\n
PS: Sebastian, just how did you become a member of the Church of Euthanasia?
\nSebastian: I was sitting at the epicenter of the Zero Population Growth Rally
\non the Boston Common. It was dull. I was leaning against the fountain when I
\nsaw these two guys walk by with tee-shirts that read “Save the Planet. Kill
\nYourself.” On the back it read “Church of Euthanasia. Suicide, Abortion,
\nCannibalism, Sodomy.” It was the first and only thing I saw at the rally that
\nday that made any sense. I yelled out, “Hey, you guys with the Church of
\nEuthanasia?” It was you and Pastor Kim, but it was Pastor Kim that smiled in
\nthat overzealous way of his, you know, and said, “follow us.” So I did. It
\nwas cool.
\nPS: So, you felt an immediate kinship with the church?
\nSebastian: Oh, yeah. I joined up right away. Within a half an hour after
\nthat I was walking along side the rest of the church members when we crashed
\nthe rally, with this ten foot tall alien, swinging incense burners smoking up
\nthis terrific haze, a fifty pound RU-486 pill made out of a cable spool, and
\nthis hundred-foot long banner which said absolutely nothing. It didn’t have
\nto. The point must have been clear to everyone there: the organizers, the
\nparticipants, the rangers. Even the tourists were snapping photos. I think it
\nwas the director of the rally that made the loudest snap. He looked like he
\nwas having some kind of seizure. It was cool.
\nPS: What do you do when you’re not involved in Church functions?
\nSebastian: The night before I met you guys I fell asleep down at the
\nwaterfront after drinking a bottle of vodka. I couldn’t feel my right arm
\nafter that. It was totally numb for maybe 24 hours. When I first met you guys
\nI was reading the Satanic Bible.
\nPS: So, how has the Church of Euthanasia changed your life?
\nSebastian: That’s the best part. It hasn’t. When I need money I usually head
\ndown to the armory across from Park Plaza. Old guys drive up in white Coup de
\nVilles. Actually the car doesn’t make that much of a difference. The larger
\ncars just mean we have more room, if we don’t go to a motel room. They’re not
\ngoing to take me back to their homes. These guys have families. The younger
\nguys get their action out of the bars. But tonight I’m going to spend some
\ntime with my boyfriend and some cocaine. It’ll be cool.
\nPS: So you’re the troubled youth we’ve heard so much about?
\nSebastian: Who? Who’s heard about me?
\nPS: Time, Newsweek, Mike Barnicle.
\nSebastian: Oh yeah, that’s me, I am America’s troubled youth. I like the
\nChurch because it’s helped me to clarify my own beliefs. I don’t like
\nlegalistic or dogmatic religious hierarchies. The primary dictate of the
\nsatanic lifestyle is do what thou wilt. That’s cool. It’s got this certain
\nappeal for me. I plan to die by the time I’m twenty. I’m going to take myself
\nout on Hemlock and morphine. With the right mix it’s going to be the Hemlock
\nthat’ll kill me, and not the morphine. I want to be lucid all the way through.
\nI want to see what I’m getting into, and I want it to be too late to turn
\naround when I do. It’ll be cool.
\nPS: So how do you plan to spend your life until your death?
\nSebastian: The Socratic cocktail is only the final act. I’m killing myself
\nnow. I have no possessions that I couldn’t give away in a heartbeat. I’m
\nindulging in total excess. The spiritual waters are poisoned, and I’m drinking
\nfreely. So, I’m expending myself while the world gets eaten. I’d rather be in
\nthe street eating human flesh than devouring the continents from my living
\nroom. I prefer direct experience. So, I feel pretty good about my own death.
\nIf I lived an extra ten years, I’d probably lose faith and end up dying with
\nthe planet, mourning everyone’s death including my own. Too bad I have to miss
\nit; mass-extinction of humans, that’ll be cool.
\nPS: You seem pretty convinced that the world is going downhill.
\nSebastian: I don’t have to be. I used to just show up at funerals. I’ve
\nprobably been to a hundred. I just mingle in with the crowd and the family
\nmembers. A lot of times I get the feeling that the people there feel guilty
\nfor how they treated the guest of honor. When I go on the endangered species
\nlist it’ll be the same way. It’ll be cool.
\nPS: What’s your favorite movie?
\nSebastian: Harold and Maud.
\nPS: I had a feeling. You seem very articulate. How old are you?
\nSebastian: Fourteen.
\nPS: Do you shave yet?
\nSebastian: No, not yet. Shaving will be cool.<\/p>\n
DADA ON THE INTERNET<\/p>\n
On Saturday, September 10, the Church of Euthanasia sent out 17,553 Save The
\nPlanet Kill Yourself e-mail messages on the Internet. Individuals around the
\nworld were exposed to pure Dada. Many of them joined the church immediately.
\nDuring the following week, controversy raged on the Internet. Issue #1 of
\nSnuff It was widely disseminated, and on Sunday the 18th, the church’s first
\ne-sermon was delivered.<\/p>\n
Greetings, and welcome to the Church of Euthanasia. Hopefully almost all
\nof you have received issue number one of our journal by now. I am sure that
\nmany questions still remain, and I’ll try to address the most popular ones,
\nwhich are how, and why.
\n How did we find you? A detailed explanation would not be appropriate here,
\nbut suffice it to say that all of you have posted to one or more of the same
\nnewsgroups over the last month or so. These newsgroups were carefully chosen
\nfor their degree of intersection with the core principles of the church. We
\nknew that many would react negatively to our methods, but felt this was
\noutweighed by the need to make a widespread, immediate impact.
\n Why did we do this? As many of you are no doubt aware, the population
\nsummit concluded this week in Cairo. If you have been following it in the
\npapers, you will know that almost nothing of any substance was accomplished.
\nMost of the conference was devoted to an acrimonious battle with the new
\nVatican-Muslim alliance over whether the various charters that were signed
\ncould contain the words “abortion” and “contraception.”
\n Meanwhile, entire nations are starving to death, while Americans watch it
\non television. Almost every day for the last month there has been at least one
\narticle in the Boston Globe about overpopulation. Many of them have stated
\nclearly that the population is expected to double in twenty years. This news
\nmight as well be on the sports page; the spectacle continues without
\ninterruption.
\n The turbines still spin, the oil is still sucked out of the earth, the cars
\nand trucks still poison the air. The consumers still stand in line in
\nsupermarkets to buy food wrapped in plastic. The ideals displayed on American
\ntelevision still dominate the daily lives of billions of human beings. What
\nwill man do when even the bottled water is poisonous? What will he do when the
\nair makes him sick, and the sun is so strong he can’t go outside anymore?
\n The planet is a living being, and quite capable of self-defense. If the
\ntwo-leggeds cannot control their numbers, she will do it for them, and her
\nmeasures will be harsh. Read the Hopi prophecies. Many of them have already
\ncome true. Now is the time of “koyaanisqatsi,” or “life out of balance.”
\n The Internet is the backbone of the so-called “cyberculture,” an impossible
\nvision of the future in which men “rule” the Earth through machines. It is for
\nthis reason most of all that we felt it so important to target the Internet.
\nMessages were delivered to the Whitehouse, to heads of corporations, to
\nhigh-ranking members of the military, to scientists, professors, and just
\nregular folks. Needless to say, many of the recipients are upset. This is a
\nregrettable, but necessary consequence of any Dada action.
\n Dada turns people upside down, by temporarily destroying one or more of
\ntheir everyday assumptions. The suspension of “normal” assumptions allows
\nmessages that would ordinarily be screened out to penetrate, even if only for a
\nshort time. The method is unpleasant, but highly effective when dealing with
\nstrong indoctrination such as that provided by television programming, or
\nuniversity education, for example. Internet users are by in large highly
\neducated members of the elite, and therefore very likely to be indoctrinated.
\n The Internet is far more than a communication system, a web of wires and
\ncomputers: the Internet is a set of assumptions, based on the specific
\nworld-view of its creators. Who are these creators, and what is their
\nworld-view? The Internet depends directly on the institutions of the consumer
\nculture, including the federal government, the military, and the universities
\nand corporations that cooperate with them. Let us not forget that the Internet
\nhas its roots in ARPAnet (the Department of “Defense”) and NSFnet (the National
\n“Science” Foundation). The Defenders of Science. Why are they defending
\nscience? Who are they defending it from?
\n They are defending it from us, my friends, from the Church of Euthanasia
\nand many other groups like us who oppose their senseless war with our Mother
\nthe Earth. Their schools teach that what cannot be measured, does not exist.
\nThis is Empiricism, the foundation of the Spectacle, the principle that
\nSocrates died for. Their leaders say that everyone is entitled to as much as
\nthey want, of whatever they want, if they have the money to buy it. This is
\nthe American Way, of life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness for the
\nviolent and ruthless. Their elites are determined to fight to the bitter end
\nfor their world-view. Their God is Moloch, who eats his children, leaving only
\nfilth, solitude, and ugliness. In the words of the Cree People:<\/p>\n
Only after the last tree has been cut down,
\nOnly after the last river has been poisoned,
\nOnly after the last fish has been caught,
\nOnly then will you realize that money cannot be eaten.<\/p>\n
Let us pray.<\/p>\n
Spirits of the four directions, East, South, West, and North,
\nPowers of the Elements, Air, Fire, Water, and Earth,
\nWheel of the seasons, Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter,
\nBe here now, as we invoke this sacred space,
\nAnd for a moment in time, free ourselves from all limitations, From all
\ndelusions of separateness.
\nBe here now, and help us, to draw our spirits down
\nFrom the lonely flights of the ego, into our bodies,
\nAnd let us be filled with the joy of your limitless light,
\nBeyond the bounds of time,
\nWhere night and day,
\nBirth and death,
\nJoy and sorrow,
\nMeet as one.<\/p>\n
CONFESSIONS OF A HERETIC<\/p>\n
Are you really serious? Kill ourselves and our children and each other in
\norder to reduce the population? So that WHO can remain to enjoy the Earth, the
\nonly life given to us? Perhaps I am selfish, but I do not want to die until I
\nreally HAVE to. I kind of enjoy being alive, you know? If I am correct, then
\nif I kill myself, then I will be dead, forever. I think your approach to the
\noverpopulation problem is sick and evil. Did you ever think that maybe slowing
\ndown the rate at which we multiply might help? This is, statistically
\nspeaking, happening in North America right now. Due to the evils of Economy,
\nmost people can’t afford to have more than one or two children. Fifty years
\nago, their parents were having four children. Fifty years before that, eight
\nto ten children. These days most people don’t even wish to reproduce. Nothing
\nwrong with that. Perhaps it would be a good idea to force people to sterilize
\nthemselves after they have their second child. 2 people have 2 children, later
\non, the net result is Zero Growth. This might even work or something, and it
\nis much less grim than what you propose. Where in the world is the highest
\npopulation growth rate? Try the very areas of the planet where people are
\nstarving to death and fighting over who rules plot X in area Y, and I’d say
\nyou’d be right on the money. These people have no food, live in the worst
\npossible conditions imaginable, and here they are irresponsibly reproducing
\nlike rabbits. What the hell can we do about THEM? Not a damn thing. Suppose
\nI actually take you seriously and believe you really do believe in suicide and
\nthe rest. Then, by extension, I would assume that all those members of your
\nChurch believe in it also. Okay, here’s the part I don’t get: you believe in
\nsuicide as the solution, yet you’re all still alive. The way I see it, if you
\nwere REALLY serious, you would pass on word of your grand solution, then
\npromptly kill yourself. But you’re still here, so you’re hypocritical, just
\nlike all the people you say you’re against. See you in Hell. Oops, I forgot,
\nthere IS no afterlife. Seriously. Why would someone such as myself who
\nbelieves that this is the only life I get want to do myself in? The illogic is
\nastounding. Bye.<\/p>\n
-Colin S. Reid’s evil twin “Sodhead”<\/p>\n
Dear Sodhead,<\/p>\n
Yes, we are serious. Americans have been insulated from the tremendous
\nsuffering their world-view has caused. In the very near future, Americans will
\nbe getting a taste of their own medicine, and they’ll be wishing they had
\nfollowed our advice. By the way, we never said anything about killing children
\nor each other. That’s homicide, not suicide.<\/p>\n
>Did you ever think that maybe slowing down the rate at which we multiply might
\n>help? This is, statistically speaking, happening in North America right now.<\/p>\n
The Church has only one commandment, and it is: THOU SHALT NOT PROCREATE.
\nThis doesn’t help us much in America, however, since “the average American
\nconsumes roughly 100 times the resources of one tribeswoman in Kenya, and about
\nten times as much as the average world citizen.” (Harvard zoologist E.O.Wilson)<\/p>\n
>Perhaps I am selfish, but I do not want to die until I really HAVE to.<\/p>\n
Yes, you are selfish, but at least you know it. There is hope.<\/p>\n
>Perhaps it would be a good idea to force people to sterilize themselves after
\n>they have their second child.<\/p>\n
The Church of Euthanasia is opposed to all INVOLUNTARY methods of population
\nreduction, including forced sterilization.<\/p>\n
>Where in the world is the highest population growth rate? Try the very areas
\n>of the planet where people are starving to death and fighting . . .<\/p>\n
The reason the birth rates are so high in the so-called “third-world” is
\nbecause the industrial nations, particularly the United States, have squeezed
\neverything of value out of those countries for hundreds of years. Birth rates
\nare directly related to life expectancy. When animals feel threatened, they
\nbreed more, in an effort to increase their chances of survival. What we can do
\nabout “THEM” is either (a) reduce the amount of resources we consume, or (b)
\nreduce our population. The Church supports BOTH of these options. I suggest
\nyou start feeling some PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for the fact that “these people”
\nhave no food and live in the worst conditions imaginable. You could start by
\nbecoming a vegetarian, for example.<\/p>\n
>The way I see it, if you were REALLY serious, you would pass on word of your
\n>grand solution, then promptly kill yourself.<\/p>\n
Just because I haven’t done it yet doesn’t mean I’m not serious! Besides, what
\nmakes you think your SELF is so important? Kill it! You’ll be much better off
\nwithout it! The sooner human beings start behaving like a SPECIES, the sooner
\nwe can get beyond all these drastic solutions. Maybe if enough people change
\ntheir world-views, I won’t NEED to kill myself!<\/p>\n
>Oops, I forgot, there IS no afterlife. Seriously. Why would someone such as
\n>myself who believes that this is the only life I get want to do myself in?<\/p>\n
That is the root of the problem, right there. As long as you believe you are
\nalone in the universe and that death is final, you will be part of the problem.
\nForget it! Let go of all that rationalist, existential crap! Fuck Plato and
\nAristotle and Hume and Kant and Freud and Francis Bacon! Go read the Hopi
\npropehecies! The earth is a LIVING BEING! Get down on your knees! Pray to
\nthe Earth Mother! Pray to your dung! Thou art that! Hallelujah!<\/p>\n
-Rev. Chris Korda<\/p>\n
THIS OLD CERVIX
\n Sister Catherine<\/p>\n
No breeding. If I have to explain this concept to another friend or relative I
\nwill vomit. I have been attacked by my breeding cousin. I have even been
\nattacked by my gay friends, individuals who agree with the pillars of the
\nchurch, but not the commandment. The thought of bringing another human life
\ninto existence to feed from the earth terrifies me. The condition and quality
\nof life on this planet should convince anyone that procreation is a bad idea.
\nPregnant women should be racing to the abortion clinic, or even better, to the
\npharmacy for an RU-486 pill. No such luck. Many believe that it’s okay for
\nsome of us to have children, and that America should impose birth regulations
\n(mass sterilization, forced contraception) on welfare and low-income families
\nand poverty-stricken nations. Wrong! Americans should reduce their
\npopulation, because they consume so much more than everyone else! Why is this
\nso difficult to understand?<\/p>\n
When people try to defend their reasons for becoming parents, the hypocrisy and
\nabsurdity are most interesting. Babies and children are one of the largest
\nconsumer groups in America. Diapers, formulas, toys, and children’s clothes
\nflood the malls and advertising. Children’s books and television programs like
\nBarney and Sesame Street are huge industries. Raising a child in typical
\nAmerican-dream fashion requires a fortune in resources, and the results are
\nghastly. The children become competitive and greedy; as adults they are
\nselfish, unhappy workers trying to keep up with the Jones’s. Few enough adults
\nmanage to climb out of the cesspool of western consumer society. Children are
\nunable to save themselves; they must be protected from the American world-view
\nand guided into a balanced relationship with the earth.<\/p>\n
Animals learn by example. They watch and assimilate the behavior of their
\nparents. People also learn by example. They watch and assimilate the behavior
\nof their televisions. Each person who refuses to create more consumers sets an
\nalternative example. If the planet is going to survive, it needs a chance to
\nheal, to recover from the damage we have caused. The most important action any
\none individual can take to help save the planet is to stop breeding.<\/p>\n
CROSS-DRESSINGS FOR A CANNIBALIZED GOD
\n Raven Drake<\/p>\n
To Dress means 1) to clothe and adorn 2) to strip, whip, and scold, hence
\nto redress: to strike a balance, make equal; share and share alike – (humans
\nstriking a balance with the earth; men sharing duties, tasks and clothes with
\nwomen, etc.) “atonement” 3) to garnish food 4) to heal or bandage wounds 5) all
\nof the above…
\n The transfer of “god-power”\/”soul-substance” through devouring the body and
\nthe blood of the god-victim is alive and well in the Christian rite of
\ntransubstantiation. Christians claim by this doctrine that the bread and wine
\nof the eucharist is entirely transformed into Jesus’s flesh and blood. The
\nmartyred Christ repeated the claim: “Who so eateth my flesh and drinketh my
\nblood hath eternal life.” Like the Greek god Dionysus, god of wine, ecstacy
\nand madness, Jesus had the role of the dismembered divine son-lover who suffers
\ndeath and is resurrected. Dionysus, not unlike Jesus, was described as
\n“man-womanish” and called “the womanly one[1].”
\n In order to be “born again,” something he hysterically longed for yet
\ndreaded, the long-haired Jesus had to “get inside” the earth mother’s unclean
\nbody via the torture cross (both Bride-escort and phallic bridge to the heavens
\nand the underworld) which was constructed from the tree of the Knowledge of
\nGood and Evil, the ultimate symbol of the transgendered trickster’s treacherous
\ntruth. Once eaten by “Terra Mata[2]” or nailed to her tree, he was resurrected
\nsoon after. Obviously the Crucifixion represented a kind of “male
\nmenstruation” through ritual castration, a sort of sadomasochistic “love-death
\norgy,” or more specifically the sacred hex necessarily put on all
\nhermaphroditic or transexed gods.
\n In regard to such nasty “habits” as eating and giving birth, we can’t make
\ntoo much of a distinction between the reproductive and digestive systems of
\neither “Terra Mata” or the transgendered god because in this case
\n“reproduction” occurs through a kind of reincarnational “death into life”
\nmagic. From tomb to womb and back again, it is more aptly called
\n“cannibalistic engulfment,” and it brings to mind the “Medusa-like” Hag Queen
\nfrom India known as Kali, who squats over her dead\/dying lover Shiva and
\ndevours his phallus and entrails with her Vagina Dentata[3].
\n One of the major reasons why men often fear abortion so much, the Vagina
\nDentata represents the end of male mono-gender mating and of course the end of
\nthe false Christian trinity of Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Lacking vaginas,
\nmany gods gave birth through their mouths, or from their heads, thighs, ears,
\nor armpits. Some even managed to become pregnant by eating a rival’s penis.
\nMen wanted to preserve at any price the notion that a male could give birth
\nwithout the need of a woman. Since a man’s semen conveyed his soul to a fetus,
\nif the fetus were destroyed then surely the man himself would suffer spiritual
\ninjury, hence he outlawed abortion, not because it was dangerous to women, but
\nbecause it was thought dangerous to men. This is a symptom of the famous
\n“fetal identification syndrome,” the masculine identification with fetal tissue
\nresulting from male dread that men “live” by connecting themselves to women,
\nand to “Mother Earth” as forever fetal\/fatal inhabitors, possessors, and
\nparasites.
\n “Terra Mata” however is a law unto herself! She represents the planet’s
\necosystem in perfect harmony, and if she has to harm in order to harmonize – so
\nbe it! She coordinates a web of relationships that at times may be hostile,
\nbut they are also essentially complimentary. Her cannibalized transgendered
\ngods and aborted children share the same destiny as all living creatures. A
\nvoracious, unbiased womb-mouth feeding upon old forms and giving life to new
\nforms, she went to war with and made love to all the “hunted hunters” and
\n“overpopulating consumers” – Those humans who arrogantly take more than she can
\ngive. She is an ecologically conscientious Cannibal Queen who not unlike
\nNemesis, the Retributive Avenger, demands reciprocal exchange between herself
\nand those who inhabit her body. She will maintain this life\/death balance at
\nall costs!<\/p>\n
1 Yahweh\/Jehovah\/Jesus originally meant Hovah\/Hawwah – “Mother of all Living.”
\nHer name implied cosmic laughter and the incomprehensible speech of the sacred
\ntrickster, but invoked the ultimate question\/cause, “How?” implying there is an
\nundecodable method to her madness.<\/p>\n
2 Mother Earth.<\/p>\n
3 [Pussy teeth. Ed.]<\/p>\n
HAPPY COLUMBUS DAY<\/p>\n
If you live in America and you haven’t read Howard Zinn’s incredible book A
\nPeople’s History of the United States, you should do so immediately. He starts
\nout with one of my all-time favorite quotes, from Columbus’s journal:<\/p>\n
As soon as I arrived in the Indies, on the first Island which I found, I took
\nsome of the natives by force in order that they might learn and might give me
\ninformation of whatever there is in these parts.<\/p>\n
Columbus didn’t waste any time! Where’s the damn GOLD? No wonder he’s such a
\nbig hero! I wonder what the natives learned? Maybe how to lick boots, or kill
\nthemselves…<\/p>\n
They . . . brought us parrots and balls of cotton and spears and many other
\nthings, which they exchanged for the glass beads and hawk’s bells. They
\nwillingly traded everything they owned. . . . They were well-built, with good
\nbodies and handsome features. . . .They do not bear arms, and do not know them,
\nfor I showed them a sword, they took it by the edge and cut themselves out of
\nignorance. They have no iron. Their spears are made of cane. . . . They would
\nmake fine servants. . . . With fifty men we could subjugate them all and make
\nthem do whatever we want.<\/p>\n
What a MAN! He gets me all excited when he talks like that! Apparently the
\nSpaniards got tired of walking after a while, “and rode on the back of Indians
\nif they were in a hurry.” They were also fond “of knifing them by tens and
\ntwenties and of cutting slices off them to test the sharpness of their blades.”<\/p>\n
Now, from his base on Haiti, Columbus sent expedition after expedition into the
\ninterior. They found no gold fields, but had to fill up the ships returning to
\nSpain with some kind of dividend. In the year 1495, they went on a great slave
\nraid, rounded up fifteen hundred Arawak men, women and children, put them in
\npens guarded by Spaniards and dogs, then picked the five hundred best specimens
\nto load onto ships. Of those five hundred, two hundred died on route. The
\nrest arrived alive in Spain and were put up for sale by the archdeacon of the
\ntown, who reported that, although the slaves were “naked as the day they were
\nborn,” they showed “no more embarrassment than animals.” Columbus later wrote:
\n“Let us in the name of the Holy Trinity go on sending all the slaves that can
\nbe sold.”<\/p>\n
In God we trust! How come I don’t remember reading any of this in grammar
\nschool? I must have been sick that day…<\/p>\n
But too many of the slaves died in captivity. And so Columbus, desperate to
\npay back dividends to those who had invested, had to make good on his promise
\nto fill the ships with gold. In the province of Cicao on Haiti, where he and
\nhis men imagined huge gold fields to exist, they ordered all persons fourteen
\nyears or older to collect a certain amount of gold every three months. When
\nthey brought it, they were given copper tokens to hang around their necks.
\nIndians found without a copper token had their hands cut off and bled to death.<\/p>\n
After all the natives were dead, African slaves were imported, but that’s
\nanother story. Isn’t it great to be an American?<\/p>\n
Sleep Is Practice<\/p>\n
Morning vigor
\nSun rose, birds sung<\/p>\n
Afternoon more serious
\nWork, love, and devour
\nEvening contemplative
\nConsiderate, reflective, and wise<\/p>\n
Night tired, sleep desire
\nPalliative escape into nothing
\nMy last day will end in sleep
\nQuiet reward for a busy life<\/p>\n
-Pastor Kim<\/p>\n
Anyone knowing the whereabouts of Jerry Colantonio (A.K.A. Jerry Cole), last
\nseen driving a yellow cab on Jersey Street near Fenway Park roughly fifteen
\nyears ago, please contact the Editor.<\/p>\n
SUBMIT! SUBMIT! SUBMIT! fiction, non-fiction, poetry and artwork.
\nSubmissions will not be returned unless accompanied by a suitable return
\nenvelope and postage. Next issue: TRANSSEXUAL SODOMY!<\/p>\n
SNUFF IT is the more or less quarterly publication of the Church of Euthanasia,
\na not-for-profit corporation chartered in the state of Delaware.<\/p>\n
editor: Rev. Chris Korda
\npostal: C.O.E., Box 261, Somerville, MA 02143
\ne-mail: coe@netcom.com
\nftp: ftp.etext.org \/pub\/Zines\/Snuffit
\ngopher: gopher.etext.org Zines\/Snuffit
\nwww: http:\/\/paranoia.com\/other\/<\/p>\n
THANKS to Donald, Kim, Scott, Jennifer, Laura, Raven, Sterling, Kev-man,
\nAndy-man, T Max, Izzy, Kim G., Kevin V., Bobbi, Sebastian, and especially
\nCatherine and DANE for making this issue possible. Raise your hand if you
\ndrink BOTTLED WATER! Where does it come from? France?<\/p>\n
NOTE that while the on-line and printed versions of Snuff It are identical in
\nterms of text, the printed version contains many photographs and graphic images
\nthat cannot be included here. If you wish to order the printed version, please
\nconsult the following catalog. Many thanks to Rita Rouvalis and Paul
\nSouthworth at the etext archives, Jerod Pore at Factsheet Five,
\nand KevinTx at paranoia.<\/p>\n
THE CHURCH OF EUTHANASIA
\n PO BOX 261, SOMERVILLE, MA 02143<\/p>\n
STPBS The original SAVE THE PLANET, KILL YOURSELF bumper sticker! We’ve sold
\nover 20,000 of these damn things! White letters on black vinyl, 3″ x 10″, now
\navailable at your nearest Spencer Gifts, or from us, $1 each, or 75 each for
\ntwenty and up, 50 each for 100 and up, for a thousand or more please contact
\nus!<\/p>\n
EPNAS New! New! New! The long-awaited EAT PEOPLE, NOT ANIMALS bumper
\nsticker (not shown). Same style as STPBS, white letters on black vinyl, 3″ x
\n10″, $1 each, or 75 each for twenty and up, etc.<\/p>\n
STPIB The international SAVE THE PLANET, KILL YOURSELF bumper sticker, easily
\nunderstood in any language, red and black on white vinyl, 3″ x 5″, $1 each, or
\n75 each for twenty and up, etc.<\/p>\n
STP12 We’re down to our last few of these! SAVE THE PLANET, KILL YOURSELF,
\nthe incredible hit from the Church of Euthanasia on KEVORKIAN RECORDS! Rev.
\nKorda receives regular communications from the “Being.” The messages arrive
\nvia psychic channelling, or “demons in her head.” The Being is a powerful
\nalien intelligence who speaks for the inhabitants of Earth in other dimensions.
\nMove to the throbbing techno\/trance beat while absorbing their hypnotic
\nsuggestions. Be part of the solution! On 12″ vinyl, $6 each.<\/p>\n
DEMCD Rev. Korda’s DEMONS IN MY HEAD is in a category by itself, according to
\nBrett Milano of the Boston Phoenix. Subtitled “An Environmental Punishment in
\nD Minor,” this forty-four minute one-track soundscape will permanently affect
\nyour subconscious mind. Dante’s Inferno pales by comparison. Right up there
\nwith Eraserhead. On CD only, $10 each, or $7.50 each for ten and up.<\/p>\n
KEVTS Be the envy of all your friends! Wear a KEVORKIAN RECORDS T-shirt!
\nThis elegant shirt features the international SAVE THE PLANET, KILL YOURSELF
\nsymbols. You’ll attract attention in any country. White ink on black 100%
\ncotton T-shirt. Specify L or XL. $10 each, limited edition, so hurry!<\/p>\n
COETS The official CHURCH OF EUTHANASIA T-shirt! We are truly blessed! It
\nsays SAVE THE DEMCP A gorgeous 11″ x 14″ color poster of that creepy DEMONS IN
\nMY HEAD cover. A collector’s item. Get them while they last. $3 each.<\/p>\n
JESPS “Jesus died for our sins, and so should you.” An 11″ x 15″ black and
\nwhite poster that graphically depicts the Four Pillars of the church, with
\nJesus crucified above them. $2 each.<\/p>\n
SNFYR A subscription to SNUFF IT, the quarterly magazine of the Church of
\nEuthanasia. Disgusting. A must. Only $10 for six issues, and you
\nautomatically become a card-carrying member of the church! Includes lovely
\nstamped membership certificate, suitable for framing. Sample issue 2$. BACK
\nISSUES of Snuff It #1 are still available for $2, but quantities are LIMITED so
\nhurry!<\/p>\n
ORDERING INFORMATION:<\/p>\n
These prices are dated October 1994. We reserve the right to change these
\nprices at any time. All prices include postage and handling. Please include
\nyour address and PHONE NUMBER so we can reach you if there is a problem. Write
\nneatly, and use item codes when ordering. PLEASE make checks payable to THE
\nCHURCH OF EUTHANASIA. Cash is OK for orders under $5, but please wrap it
\nsecurely to avoid postal theft. We are NOT responsible for any damage
\nresulting from exposure to these products.<\/p>\n
