Erma Bombeck’s 10 Rules to Live By:<\/p>\n
1. Never have more children than you have car windows.
\n 2. Gravity always wins. Accept that. Science is trying to reverse the
\naging process; the kicker is that you look young on the outside, but
\ninside you’re still aging. There is no advantage to looking like Arnold
\nSchwarzenegger on the beach if you can’t travel two feet away from a
\nrestroom.
\n 3. Never loan your car to someone to whom you have given birth.
\n 4. Pick your friends carefully. A ‘friend’ never goes on a diet when
\nyou are fat or tells you how lucky you are to have a husband who
\nremembers Mother’s Day — when his gift is a smoke alarm.
\n 5. Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who
\nwaved off the dessert cart.
\n 6. Given a choice between the man of your dreams and a plumber,
\nchoose the latter. Men who can fix your toilet on Sundays are hard to
\ncome by.
\n 7. Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother
\nTeresa. Fame is Madonna.
\n 8. Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may
\nneed this man\/woman someday to finish a sentence.
\n 9. There are no guarantees in marriage. If that’s what you’re looking
\nfor, go live with a Sears battery.
\n 10. Never go to a class reunion pregnant. They will think that’s all
\nyou have been doing since you graduated.<\/p>\n
