\\=======================================================================\/\/
\n\/\/\t\t\t ___\t\t ___\t\t\t \\
\n\\\t \\_\\ \t \/\/_\\\t\t\/\/_\\\t\t\t \/\/
\n\/\/\t \/\/ \/\/ow to connect \/\/ \\nything to \/\/ \\nything\t\t \\
\n\\\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \/\/
\n\/\/\t(Alright, so I’m a sucker for weird text title graphics!) \\
\n\\\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \/\/
\n\/\/\t\t Written with estranged pride by\t\t\t \\
\n\\\t\t\t The Slipped Disk\t\t\t\t \/\/
\n\/\/\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \\
\n\\ Call Milliways 10Meg\/BBS\/AE\/CF……………………(609)-921-1994 \/\/
\n\/\/\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \\
\n\\ (*) Everything you wanted to know about connecting anything (*)\t \/\/
\n\/\/\t (Don’t you hate infinitives and living up to them?) \\
\n\\=======================================================================\/\/<\/p>\n
If you aren’t an idiot, You are aware that this file is called “How to
\nconnect anything to anything.” This is no small task. Let’s get started….<\/p>\n
===\/
\n Intro
\n \/===<\/p>\n
What many people don’t realize is that the illusion of genius can be created
\nwith little or no intelligence at all.\tYou see, when people talk about someone
\nbeing “Oh, so smart.” They aren’t referring in fact to his\/her ACTUAL
\nintelligence, but to their EXPOSED or ASSUMED intelligence. Let’s
\ndemonstrate…<\/p>\n
Jimmy Carpenter in Butfuck, VA. His greatest technological achievement is
\nscrewing in his lightbulb. Everybody thinks he`s a complete idiot, but little
\nJimmy has an IQ of 145. Nobody knew.<\/p>\n
Mark Dman of Boston, MA. He hooked up his phone to his stereo to his christmas
\ntree to his left leg. Everyone thought he was a complete genius. Everyone was a
\nbit surprised when he got stoned (as usual) and rammed the family camaro into a
\n7-11 front window.<\/p>\n
These two cases (Fictional, asswipe!) in one way or another show that while
\nnot showing brains can make people seem like idiots, acting like you have brains
\ncan make people think you’re a genius. Simple enough? Good!<\/p>\n
====================================================\/
\n The ten commandments of hooking anything to anything
\n \/====================================================<\/p>\n
I. Thou shalt remember that in order for anything to work, thou must have a
\ncomplete circut in there somewheres.<\/p>\n
II. Thou shalt remember that there must be connections of + to -, else thou
\nshalt look idiotic.<\/p>\n
III.\tThy tool-kit must be complete and ready, for it’s nasty to get shocked
\nbecause thou hadt spliced wire with thy teeth.<\/p>\n
IV. Thou shalt always have an ample supply of wire at thy command, for it’s
\naggravating to be unable to finish a project for want of two feet of wire.<\/p>\n
V. It is always divine to stick LED’s in there somewheres, for flashing and
\nmulti-colored lights bring illusion of genius.<\/p>\n
VI. When working with circuts of more than 90 Volts, fuck it, for shocks are
\na pain in the ass.<\/p>\n
VII.\tIf screwing with thy fone wires, be reminded that the holy repairmen
\nlook down on “independent finanglers”.<\/p>\n
VIII. Never screw with something thou cannot replace.<\/p>\n
IIX.\tAlways be sure that thou art not making irreversible changes when thou
\nmight want to put back.<\/p>\n
IX. Always set aside an ample amount of time to do thy work, for what looks
\nsimple now, might not look so simple 2 hours later when thou comes back from
\nwherever thou came.<\/p>\n
X. Remember that if thou are hurt because of info in this file, thine holy
\nwriter takes NO responsiblity for thou being a fuck-up.<\/p>\n
============================\/
\n Some Examples of connections
\n \/============================<\/p>\n
Most parts of a connection (We’ll call them components) can be separated into
\nthree different classifications:<\/p>\n
I. Powered<\/p>\n
Examples:<\/p>\n
\t Radio \t\t Phone\t\t TV
\n\t Computer\t\t Light\t\t Tape player<\/p>\n
II. Non-powered<\/p>\n
Examples:<\/p>\n
\t Speakers\t\t LED\t\t Microphone
\n\t Motor\t\t Screen \t Strobe<\/p>\n
III. Line Affections<\/p>\n
Examples:<\/p>\n
\t DPST switch\t\t Timer\t\t Signal Splitter<\/p>\n
Together, these different components add up to some sort of interesting
\nconnections for everyone to marvel at. Let’s see how…<\/p>\n
=======================\/
\n Examples of connections
\n \/=======================<\/p>\n
To make this easier, I’ll give a list of some ideas. See if you can tell
\nwhat “Trick” they cause. Create some others as you wish! It’s your life!<\/p>\n
Component type I Component type III Component type II
\n >————————————————–<
\n TV\t\t\tSwitch\t\t\tStereo<\/p>\n
Phone\t\tSignal splitter \tTV & Stereo<\/p>\n
Phone\t\tLED\t\t\tPhone line<\/p>\n
Stereo\t\tTimer\t\t\tPhone<\/p>\n
Answering Machine\tTimer\t\t\tTV<\/p>\n
\\===========================================================================\/\/
\n\/\/ This little dazzling bit of authorship was by The Slipped Disk.\t \\
\n\\\t\t Member of the 99th Percentile!\t\t\t \/\/
\n\/\/ Look for the SlippedParodies from any good BBS, Including this one…. \\
\n\\\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \/\/
\n\/\/ Call………………Milliways………………………(609)\/921-1994 \\
\n\\===========================================================================\/\/
\nCall The Works BBS – 1600+ Textfiles! – [914]\/238-8195 – 300\/1200 – Always Open<\/p>\n
